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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23767246">didn't mean to get so close (and i know that i should probably go)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelleybrohara5/pseuds/kelleybrohara5'>kelleybrohara5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legacies (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Hosie Endgame, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:28:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>73,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23767246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelleybrohara5/pseuds/kelleybrohara5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At just 16, Josie Saltzman was one of the best youth soccer players in the country. Josie Saltzman was also just 16 when she suddenly wasn’t anymore, and she blamed Hope Mikaelson for it.</p><p>or</p><p>A Soccer AU in which Josie and Hope were high school rivals and Hope causes an injury that halts Josie’s soccer career and costs her a scholarship to the best collegiate women's soccer program in the nation. They cross paths as college players 2 years later and this time, something's different.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hope Mikaelson &amp; Josie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey y'all! i'm a sucker for the enemies to friends to lovers trope so i thought it'd be nice to write a fun little hosie fic based on it especially since i suddenly have so much time on my hands. i make really minor soccer references here but you don't have to understand them to understand the whole story. just wanted to provide some context on how good they are at soccer and how notorious their colleges are. this is the first time i'm writing hosie so take it easy on me!</p><p>title is lyrics from softy by clairo, but inspiration is also drawn from superposition by young the giant.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie Saltzman hates Hope Mikaelson.</p><p>Josie was the star forward for Mystic Falls High committed to play for the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, arguably the best collegiate women’s soccer program in the nation and a potential pipeline for getting called up to play for the senior United States Women’s National team. She broke the school’s all-time record for goals scored in a single season when she was just a sophomore, the same season that she led Mystic Falls to the state championship for the first time in 13 years, and was called up to play for the U-17 youth national team.</p><p>A few weeks ago, she was recognized as the Gatorade National Girls Soccer Player of the Year not only for her formidable athleticism, but also for her academic excellence and her work volunteering as a youth soccer coach for a local U-7 girls soccer team on the weekends.</p><p>At just 16, Josie Saltzman was one of the best youth soccer players in the country. Josie Saltzman was also 16 when she suddenly wasn’t anymore and she blamed Hope Mikaelson for it.</p><p>It was a breezy November evening of her junior year and the annual rivalry game between Mystic Falls High and the Salvatore School was the talk of the town for the past week. Salvatore has consistently been a top contender in the state and if you were to ask students at Mystic Falls, they would tell you that money could get you anywhere. Salvatore had the funds to hire the best coaches, scout the most talented students, and provide the facilities to produce a soccer powerhouse. Mystic Falls winning the state championship the year before was a huge blow to their ego and they were out for blood this year.</p><p>The match was set to start and Josie was chosen to captain this game. She stood in the center of the field across Salvatore’s captain, Hope Mikaelson, whose auburn hair is in a high ponytail, her pale skin contrasting the blue and yellow of her soccer uniform. </p><p>To put things in perspective, Hope Mikaelson is the Josie Saltzman equivalent of the Salvatore School. No, she wasn’t the Gatorade Player of the Year, she wasn’t scouted to play for UNC, and she doesn’t score nearly as many goals as Josie. She is, however, the best defender in Virginia and is already set to play for Stanford, the same university that provided the senior national team with Kelley O’Hara, Christen Press, and Tierna Davidson, all of which were in the 2019 World Cup winning team, and two of which are some of the best defenders in the world. </p><p>Josie’s known Hope ever since she was 7 when Hope was sent to Salvatore by her father, Klaus Mikaelson, the CEO of The Mikaelson Group, the most successful and profitable consulting firm in the US and basically New Orleans royalty. The two girls have crossed paths many times due to the size of Mystic Falls and they even played on the U-17 team together last year. </p><p>There isn’t animosity between them. In fact, the relationship is just non-existent. Josie has tried to at least be friendly with Hope since that’s just the type of person she is, but she was almost always met with a cold shoulder. Eventually, there became a silent agreement between the two girls to minimize interaction with each other unless necessary. It’s not like Josie minds anyway. She eventually came to terms with the fact that Hope is just your typical snobby, rich girl who’s gotten everything handed to her and probably felt like she was above being friends with a middle-classer from Mystic Falls High.</p><p>“Alright, shake hands,” the head referee boredly instructs the two girls after the coin toss.</p><p>Josie firmly grips the other girl’s hand, giving her a solid handshake. She throws a friendly smile at Hope as a means of sportsmanship but the latter merely nods her head in acknowledgement and turns away after letting go of her, prompting Josie to roll her eyes as she turns towards her side of the field.</p><p>“Game on, I guess,” she mutters to herself. </p><p>The game started off slow, both sides having equal chances on the ball which was expected in a rivalry game between two of the best teams in the state. Mystic Falls’ chance, however, comes at the 63rd minute when a Mystic Falls midfielder serves Josie a beautiful cross from the right flank that falls right at her feet. She skillfully dribbles around a Salvatore defender before shooting at the upper right hand corner of the goal. Salvatore’s goalie had absolutely no chance. The Mystic Falls student section goes crazy, clumps of black and red moving like an explosion of color. </p><p>The goal gave Mystic Falls the momentum to dominate the pace of the game. After Josie’s goal, the Timberwolves worked like a well-oiled machine, their passes connecting like a harmonious melody and their crosses seamlessly finding their forwards, giving the Stallions’ defense no room to breathe.</p><p>During the 86th minute, Josie finds herself with the ball once again and she sees a pocket between the Salvator defenders that she sprints for. She’s too engrossed with the goal in front of her that she doesn’t register the blob of yellow and blue in her peripheral vision. The next thing she remembers is being on the ground, the feeling of a blade repeatedly slicing at the tendons of her right knee, and a blur of auburn hair and blue eyes before the pain becomes so unbearable that everything goes to black.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong><em>2 years later</em></strong>
</p><p>“Hey hey hey, ball!” Josie yells out as she sprints towards the goal. </p><p>Penelope immediately reads her and crosses the ball right to her feet. Josie then flawlessly converts it as she volleys a laser straight shot beyond the goalie’s fingertips. Josie pumps her fist and celebrates by jumping in Penelope’s arms.</p><p>“Nice goal, babe,” Penelope says as she put Josie down, a blush adorning the forward’s face upon hearing the compliment. </p><p>Before she could say anything else, Coach Williams pipes up from behind her. “World class, Saltzman! You’re starting against Stanford next week,” he yells from the sideline. He then shifts his attention towards the whole team. “That marks the end of practice. See you all tomorrow!” he exclaims before writing a couple of notes on his clipboard.</p><p>A huge grin appears on Josie’s face. “I won’t let you down, coach!” </p><p>She turns back towards a smirking Penelope. “Told you, you’d start. You shouldn’t have doubted me,” the midfielder huffs.</p><p>Josie playfully rolls her eyes. “We sleep together for fun. Sue me for thinking you were biased,” she deadpans as she takes off her pinny and throws it in the pile. She then grabs an ice pack and some saran wrap for her knee. “Either way, I get to face Hope Mikaelson again and I wanna show her that I’m not the same broken player I was after I got injured.”</p><p>“Also helps that we’d be kicking Stanford’s ass in the process,” Penelope muses as they walk to the locker room. </p><p>“Exactly! It’s a win-win for everyone!” Josie exclaims earning a chuckle from the midfielder next to her.</p><p>“So, are we hitting that party at Chi Psi up? Apparently, the girl Landon’s been seeing is coming. Lizzie, Raf, and MG are game too,” Penelope says, breaking Josie out of her thoughts. </p><p>Josie sits on the bench and begins untying the shoelaces of her cleats while Penelope makes a move to sit next to her, her locker right next to Josie’s. </p><p>“Lizzie’s coming? I’m surprised, considering she’s been on this crazy no alcohol diet her coach put her on,” Josie says as she looks up in surprise. </p><p>“Don’t look at me, I only heard it from MG. We both know how much your sister dislikes me,” Penelope says, raising her arms in defense. Josie merely shakes her head at that. </p><p>“Never really understood volleyball,” Josie muses as she shrugs her shoulders and takes her training jersey off.</p><p>She comes from an athletic family but Lizzie decided to follow their mom’s footsteps by seriously committing to play volleyball since their mother played for UVA once upon a time. Soccer was more her dad’s thing and Josie definitely got that from him. </p><p>Lizzie committed to play for Cal since their sophomore year of high school. It just worked out that Josie ended up at the same place too despite how unexpected and unintended it was.</p><p>Penelope snaps her fingers in front of Josie to get her attention. “I know what you’re doing, Jojo. You’re trying to change the subject so you don’t have to answer my question.” </p><p>“Ugh, do I have to come?” Josie groans as she grabs her shampoo and body wash from her locker. “I was planning on getting a couple more touches on the ball tonight.”</p><p>Penelope faces her, a small frown on her face. “Do you ever take a break?” </p><p>Josie knits her eyebrows as she feels herself getting defensive. “I take many breaks. I just feel like I’ll never get better if I spend my free time partying,” she shoots back with a slight bite.</p><p>Penelope sighs in frustration. “Look Jo, I’m devoted to this team just as much as you are, but you and I both know you deserve a night out. You’ve been working so hard ever since you stepped foot on campus for preseason training 3 months ago and you’ve turned down almost every invite I’ve extended,” she says matter-of-factly.</p><p>The midfielder was right. It’s not really Josie’s fault that she’s like this. Having your singular passion taken away from you in a flash makes you realize things. She used to be the best and she isn’t anymore, and she wanted to get to that level again. If that meant foregoing her college experience and putting in extra training sessions, then so be it. But if she thinks about it, would one night really hurt? She relents under Penelope’s concerned gaze. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll go,” she sighs. “And for your information, I go to parties sometimes.” </p><p>“Okay first of all, you're a freshman. This is literally <em>the</em> time to go hard,” Penelope says, rolling her eyes in response. “And that’s all I wanted to hear! You won’t regret it,” she reassures her as she slaps Josie in the back in excitement. </p><p>
  <em>Really? I seem to be regretting it a whole lot already,</em> Josie thinks.
</p><p>---</p><p>That night, Lizzie, MG, Raf, and Josie meet at Penelope’s apartment to pregame since she lives on frat row and is only a couple blocks away from the frat house. Landon was off hanging out with his girlfriend and told the group he would just meet them at the party. </p><p>“I can’t believe that life-sized garden gnome snagged himself a girlfriend,” Lizzie muses as she pours herself a shot of Bacardi, obviously planning to get plastered tonight.</p><p>MG, Raf, and Penelope don’t hesitate to laugh at Lizzie’s expected commentary on Landon, but Josie playfully slaps her arm. “Hey, don’t be like that. Landon’s one of the sweetest guys I know here,” she says to defend him. </p><p>They met on the first day of classes in a music theory class they were both taking as an elective and were inseparable ever since. They would often grab lunch together after their 11 AM lecture and share song ideas and have jam sessions on Memorial Glade when it’s nice out. Josie would easily consider him her best friend at Cal.</p><p>“Hey, what about us?” MG exclaims in playful disbelief as he points between him and Raf.</p><p>“Yeah Jo, I would expect you to think I’m sweet. You know, considering we’ve made out already,” he teases, wiggling his eyebrows. That earns a soft “oooh” from MG.</p><p>Josie furiously blushes. She’d be lying if she said that she didn’t have a crush on Rafael when she first met him at a preseason party. He’s tall, handsome, and plays for the basketball team. Josie would be dumb not to crush on him. </p><p>One too many drinks later, she found herself making out with him on a couch, initiated by yours truly. Luckily enough, Raf realized how drunk she was and didn’t even think to attempt to take it further. Instead, he walked her back to her dorm and made her drink lots of water. Josie likes to think that they could’ve been something if it weren’t for the fact that she felt extremely humiliated from her drunk actions that night and that Rafael turned out to be Landon’s step brother.</p><p>“Too bad she rebounded from your short-lived romance with me,” Penelope playfully shoots back before taking a sip from her mixed drink and wrapping her arm around Josie to further prove her point.</p><p>Meeting Penelope may or may not have also contributed to the death of her relationship with Raf before it even started, but Josie would never admit that out loud. Penelope didn’t need another ego boost.</p><p>“Okay calm down, Casanova,” Josie says as she rolls her eyes. Despite that, she involuntarily snakes her arm around Penelope’s waist. The latter merely smirks at Josie in response.</p><p>“Alright, you guys are gross. Can we all take a shot so I can forget that this part of the night ever happened?” Lizzie groans, holding the handle up. Everybody shrugs and holds their shot glasses out, waiting for a refill.</p><p>---</p><p>The group arrives at the party with a good amount of alcohol coursing through their veins. Josie herself is four shots in, swaying on her feet, and leaning on Penelope whenever she can. She definitely did not mean to get this drunk before the party even started, but Lizzie seemed like she had a mission to get everyone blasted tonight. She quickly pulls Penelope to the kitchen to get herself a mixed drink, leaving Lizzie, MG, and Raf to their own devices. Penelope finds a few of their teammates on the way there and goes to converse with them, Josie offering to make her a drink and meet up with her later. </p><p>She is in the middle of pouring coke to some rum when somebody gracelessly bumps into her arm, making her spill coke all over the table and onto her sneakers. </p><p>“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” a voice says, hands quickly grabbing some napkins to clean up the mess. </p><p>Josie turns toward the voice to put a face to the perpetrator and is shocked to see the auburn-haired girl she has despised for the past two years.</p><p>“Mikaelson,” she almost growls out. Hope’s eyes widen for a split second before her face goes back to its usual smolder. </p><p>“Saltzman,” she plainly says back.</p><p>Josie shakes the coke off her hand, probably getting some on Hope’s shoes before she speaks up, her shoulders tense and her eyebrows scrunched. </p><p>“I see you’re wreaking havoc in my life yet again. What are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be in your cozy little bubble back in Palo Alto?” she sharply asks. </p><p>Hope rolls her eyes and scoffs. “As much as I would rather be dead than be caught at a party at Cal, my boyfriend goes here and I’d like to think that I’m not petty enough to refuse to go to a party with him just because it’s at my rival school. We’re not in high school anymore.”</p><p>That last part seemed more loaded than Hope was letting on and Josie could feel the hostility between them slowly rising. </p><p>“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Josie fires back, her fist clenching by her side. </p><p>Hope sighs and shakes her head. “I’m not having this conversation with you again when I know you won’t listen.” </p><p>Josie tilts her head in question, her eyes narrowing at Hope’s comment. “If you’re just gonna say that bullshit you said 2 years ago about how I didn’t know the whole story and that I shouldn’t be quick to blame you, I don’t want to hear it. You dove, took my knee out, and cost me my scholarship to UNC. End of story. Everybody saw it.” </p><p>Hope raises her eyebrows at Josie’s minor outburst. “Look, I don’t want to fight. Like I said, there’s no point in talking about this when we’re just gonna go around in circles. I’m here with my boyfriend and I’ll gladly get out of your way if you get out of mine.” </p><p>Despite the can of Bud Light in Hope’s hand, Josie thinks that she’s obviously sober if she’s this insistent in keeping the peace. Before Josie could say something that is the complete opposite of keeping the peace, Landon walks in with Penelope in tow, a delighted smile on his face. </p><p>“Josie! I see you’ve met Hope,” he says as he walks over to them, wrapping an arm around her enemy’s waist. </p><p><em>No fucking way,</em> Josie thinks to herself as Penelope walks over to her.</p><p>“Hope Mikaelson is your girlfriend?!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here's chapter 2! i'm enjoying writing this (and i hope you enjoy reading so far!), so expect regular(ish) updates. i hope everyone is staying safe and healthy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I-I don’t understand. Are you okay, Josie?” Landon asks, clearly confused. </p><p>“I-ugh! We’ll talk about this later,” Josie replies, pinching the bridge of her nose in sharp annoyance.</p><p>As much as she would like to slander Hope in the middle of this party and make a scene, she thought against it. She’s drunk but she’s still very much aware that she’s also a student-athlete at this school and she isn’t willing to risk her starting position against Stanford over a girl that has taken so many things away from her already. It just isn’t worth it at this point. </p><p>Before Landon can prod, Penelope thankfully comes to the rescue and sticks her hand out for Hope to take. 

“Penelope Park,” she coolly says.</p><p>Penelope knows the complicated history between Hope and Josie and has all the reasons to have a negative preconception of the Stanford player, but Josie supposes that she’s trying to be the reasonable figure at the moment.</p><p>“Hope Mikaelson. I think we’ve played against each other before,” Hope civilly says as she returns Penelope’s handshake.</p><p>“Our freshman year. Rivalry game, right? We’ll get you next week,” Penelope teases. If it isn’t for the sweet smile on Penelope's face, Josie knows that the last comment is meant to pack more of a punch than how it sounded.</p><p>“We’ll see about that,” Hope fires back with a light chuckle, giving Penelope a smile as sweet. </p><p>Josie notices Penelope’s eyes slightly narrow at Hope’s brazen response before she refocuses her attention on Landon.</p><p>“So Landon, how did you two lovebirds meet? Josie and I would <em>love</em> to know,” she asks, prompting a glare from Josie. She wanted to get out of this conversation as soon as possible and Penelope seemed to be basking in her misery.</p><p>As Landon explains the story of how he was home in Palo Alto for Labor Day weekend and met Hope at his favorite diner when he accidentally spilled his peanut butter blast milkshake on her, Josie chugs her drink because she absolutely did not want to deal with this. She could be enjoying her life and playing beer pong with MG and Raf, for fuck’s sake. </p><p>“...and I took her out to dinner to make up for it and the rest is history,” he finishes, a blinding smile on his face. Hope has a tinge of a smile on her lips as well, but her eyes are mostly focused on Josie as she tries to read what she thinks about the absurd situation they’re in. </p><p>Josie feels like she’s burning under her gaze and with that, she can’t take it anymore.</p><p>“Landon, can I talk to you?” she inquires with a subtle slur after borderline slamming her now empty cup on the kitchen island.</p><p>Before he could reply, she’s already pulling him out of the kitchen and into the surprisingly empty balcony, leaving Hope and Penelope to awkwardly converse with each other.</p><p>Josie slides the door closed and slightly stumbles towards the ledge. The fresh air feels like a reprieve which is a stark contrast to the hot and muggy air inside the house. </p><p>“What’s up, Jo? Are you okay?” he asks as he follows suit and leans against the wooden railing. </p><p>She vigorously shakes her head and rubs a hand over her face in frustration. She takes a second to figure out how to phrase what she wants to say next. “You know the girl I told you about? The one that caused my knee injury and cost me my scholarship to UNC?” </p><p>He gently nods his head, confusion still clear on his face. “Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>Josie almost wants to laugh at the irony of that statement. It has to do with <em>everything.</em> “It was Hope.”</p><p>Josie braces herself, not really knowing what to expect from Landon. He could either completely take her side and curse Hope Mikaelson out forever, or he could quickly defend Hope’s honor. Josie wishes it’s the former, but she’s not that naive. </p><p>His eyes widen like saucers and his mouth drops in surprise. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>He doesn’t say anything else, quietly prompting Josie to continue her thought. </p><p>“I wish I was kidding,” she deadpans. Landon still stands in front of her, speechless. </p><p>She can’t take the ambiguity anymore, so she stupidly shares her two cents, and looking back, she blames her lack of a filter on the five drinks she’s taken that night.</p><p>“Look, I’m gonna be honest here and say that I don’t know why you’re with her. You’re sweet and considerate and thoughtful while Hope is apathetic, elitist, and wasn’t above injuring me in a stupid high school rivalry game two years ago because her team was losing.”</p><p>Landon raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms at that. “Whoa there, wait. You do not have a right to talk about her like that."</p><p>Josie saw it coming, yet she still feels betrayed, Landon’s words sharply poking at her like a stick.</p><p>“You have got to be kidding me,” she says incredulously.</p><p>Landon seems to increasingly get frustrated by the direction that the conversation is going, his hand roughly running through his hair.</p><p>“I get that you’re holding this ancient grudge on her, but you don’t know anything about her and I do. I know that she wouldn’t hurt a fly and if for some reason, she really meant to hurt you, which I highly doubt, she isn’t the same person she was in high school."</p><p>Josie throws her hands up in exasperation. He doesn’t seem to get it. He doesn’t seem to get how much she’s lost because of that stupid injury and it doesn’t seem to matter how many times she’s mentioned her jilted dreams to him.</p><p>“I don’t have to know her to know that she literally ruined my life!” she exclaims.</p><p>“The accident has nothing to do with who she is as a person!” he quickly counters.</p><p>Deep down, Josie knows that there’s some merit to Landon’s words. But Hope has made an appearance in her life again looking like she hasn’t experienced an ounce of adversity. Everything in her life is fine. She comes from a wealthy family, she’s thriving at Stanford, she’s at the top of her game, and she’s made multiple youth national team appearances since her first stint at the U-17s. She just doesn’t know what loss is and it makes Josie so damn <em>angry.</em> </p><p>“Give her a chance,” Landon pleads, obviously wanting to end this argument. He has always been a peaceful guy and he tries his best to avoid conflict at all times. </p><p>However, the anger that Josie feels is so strong and all-consuming that it easily clouds every sense of rationality that her inebriated mind can muster. “And what if I say no?” </p><p>Landon’s whole demeanor changes. His eyebrows are furrowed, his shoulders tense up, and a sharp frown is instantly etched onto his face. “Then maybe we aren’t meant to be friends after all,”  he coldly says.</p><p>His words are sharp, that stick that’s been poking her piercing some skin. He doesn’t even wait for Josie’s response because he abruptly turns around and goes back to the party, presumably to look for Hope. </p><p>Josie’s mouth drops in disbelief before she leans towards the ledge that's overlooking the rest of frat row and releases a frustrated groan.</p><p>“Fuck!”</p><p>---</p><p>The first thing she feels when she wakes up the next morning is a pounding headache. The second thing she feels is an arm lazily resting on her very naked stomach. The third is the aforementioned arm moving from its place on her skin as she hears a succeeding groan not even a second later. </p><p>“God, why did we drink so much last night?” Penelope asks as she rolls onto her back and rubs the sleep off her eyes. </p><p>Josie sits up and begins looking for her clothes that are expectedly strewn all over the floor. </p><p>“Blame Lizzie,” she mumbles before she feels a hand around her wrist, promptly stopping her from her little scavenger hunt.</p><p>“Going already?” Penelope asks, concern coloring her tone.</p><p>Josie looks at her questioningly. Penelope usually doesn’t have a problem with her leaving first thing in the morning after their many hookups. It’s been a casual arrangement since it started 2 months ago and she expected this time to be no exception. </p><p>“We’re not gonna talk about last night?” she specifies. </p><p>Josie turns to face Penelope, some of her clothes bunched in her hands. “What is there to talk about?” </p><p>Penelope sighs in frustration and sits up, grabbing the comforter with her. “Do you not remember coming back into the party after talking to Landon, which by the way, you looked visibly upset by, playing three rounds of beer pong with MG and Raf, then pulling me out of the party only to bring me back to my apartment to basically attack me with sex?” </p><p>Josie tries her hardest to recollect the memories from last night, but everything that happened after her upsetting conversation with Landon comes up blank with the exception of going back to Penelope’s to hook up. Even then, it appeared in her mind in blotchy patches. Now that she’s sober and not emotionally charged, she knows that she fucked up. </p><p>“I-kind of? I remember going back to your apartment but some parts are kinda blurry,” she sighs as she buries her face in her hands.</p><p>Three months into her freshman year at Cal, she’s already managed to lose a friend. She knows that she at least has to try to mend the broken ties and not let anything as trivial as Hope Mikaelson screw her friendship with Landon or <em>anyone</em> for that matter.</p><p>“It’s not like I’m complaining or anything because the sex was great," Penelope teases with a chuckle. </p><p>Josie lifts her head from her hands and rolls her eyes. She doesn’t doubt it, but it’d be nice if she actually <em>remembered</em> it.</p><p>“But the fact that you don’t remember, Jo. That’s concerning, especially for you. You never drink that much,” Penelope says, rubbing Josie’s arm as an attempt to ease her.</p><p>After a few minutes of silence, mostly due to Josie being too embarrassed and upset to say anything, Penelope offers a proposition. “I’m really hungry so I could use some breakfast. Join me?” </p><p>She pauses to see if Josie budges at the prospect of food. She doesn’t. </p><p>“We can also talk about what’s bothering you. And don’t say you’re fine because you’re obviously not,” she continues as she gets up and puts on an oversized sweatshirt and some shorts from her closet. Penelope is out of the room before Josie can say something in return.</p><p>A few moments later, Josie hesitantly walks into Penelope’s kitchen in the clothes she was wearing the night before. As much as she doesn’t want to talk about last night’s events, especially what happened between her and Landon, she’s also pretty damn hungry and in need of information that her useless brain could not remember. </p><p>“Hey,” she softly greets, pulling out a stool and taking a seat. “Need any help?”</p><p>Penelope shifts her attention from the coffee machine, giving the forward a small smile in acknowledgment. “No need. Coffee?” </p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>Penelope heads towards the cupboard to grab two mugs and pours coffee in both. She goes ahead and adds a splash of milk and two teaspoons of sugar to Josie’s before setting it in front of her. Just how she likes it.</p><p>When Josie takes the first sip of the dark and bitter liquid, she sighs in satisfaction. Nothing compares to the first sip of coffee of the day, especially if it’s made the right way. It’s even better when trying to get over a hangover. Meanwhile, Penelope places two bagels in the toaster and heats up a pan for some quick scrambled eggs. </p><p>It goes on like that for a while: Josie takes occasional sips from her mug while Penelope watches over the eggs. Penelope eventually gets tired of the silence and decides to say something to break it.</p><p>“We destroyed Raf and MG in beer pong."</p><p>Josie thinks she’s starting the conversation off as harmless and trivial as possible. She chuckles, swirling the coffee in her mug. “Ironic, considering Raf literally plays basketball.”</p><p>“What’s more ironic is that you were absolutely blasted and somehow still had the coordination to win,” Penelope teases back, splitting the eggs between two plates. She then grabs the bagels from the toaster and places them on said plates before giving one to Josie and sitting next to her. </p><p>With that comment, Josie tenses. She almost never blacks. Yes, she’s gotten drunk a handful of times—she wouldn’t be a teenager if she hasn’t—but she took pride in knowing how to handle her liquor. Last night was the opposite of that. </p><p>“Be honest. Did I do anything stupid?”</p><p>Penelope creates unnecessary suspense by shoving eggs in her mouth first. Josie raises an eyebrow and watches her chew, impatiently waiting for an answer. To add insult to injury, Penelope then proceeds to take a long sip of her straight black coffee. </p><p>“Ugh, tell me!” she exclaims, giving the other girl a soft shove to get her attention.</p><p>Penelope starts chuckling at Josie’s panicked state and rubs a comforting hand on the anxious girl’s thigh before finally answering. “Other than the fact that we fucked for 2 hours straight? No.” </p><p>With that, Josie feels immediate relief wash over her. “Asshole,” she mutters out, angrily stabbing eggs with her fork before shoving them in her mouth. </p><p>“Now that that’s out of the way, do you want to tell me about what happened with Landon? It must’ve upset you a lot, considering that you drank yourself to forgetfulness,” Penelope asks, her tone missing the teasing lilt it had a minute ago. </p><p>Josie sighs despite expecting the direction that the conversation is going. “Told him Hope tore my ACL, he was shocked, I talked shit about her, he got mad, he asked me to give her a chance, I said no, he walked out.” </p><p>“Maybe you should,” Penelope suggests.</p><p>Josie scoffs, caught off guard. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>“Give her a chance,” Penelope clarifies, casually spreading cream cheese on her bagel like what she said was nothing.</p><p>Josie narrows her eyes and furrows her eyebrows. “No, I got that,” she utters, increasingly getting annoyed. “Not you, too.”</p><p>“Okay hear me out,” Penelope starts, quickly defending herself. “When you and Landon went out to the balcony, her and I were left alone. As we waited for you guys to be done, we naturally started talking.”</p><p>“What exactly did you talk to her about?” Josie asks, a warning tone in her voice. She hopes Penelope didn’t bring up anything from what happened in high school. </p><p>“Not anything about your injury. Calm down,” Penelope says to quickly defuse the situation. </p><p>Josie internally sighs in relief. She hates the idea of Hope telling Penelope misleading information about what exactly happened that fateful night. </p><p>“You know me. I bluntly asked her why she was dating Landon because let’s be honest here, she’s way out of his league. There’s no way someone as attractive, athletic, and filthy rich as her would settle for Mr. Ewoks-Are-Just-Giant-Teddy-Bears. That’s cra-” </p><p>“Pen,” Josie scolds her, wanting the midfielder to get back on track. </p><p>“Right, sorry,” her teammate apologizes. “Anyway, she went on about how he’s the only person she’s dated who’s ever treated her well and that he makes her feel like she doesn’t have any expectations to meet. That she can just be herself.” She pauses to take another sip of her coffee before completing her thought. “That got me thinking. Someone who is supposedly stuck up and classist wouldn’t think like that.” </p><p>Josie slightly falters at that. She certainly didn’t expect that from Hope. “What’s your point?” she asks, moving the eggs on her plate around with her fork.</p><p>Penelope shrugs her shoulders. “All I’m saying is, maybe she isn’t as bad as you make her out to be. I don’t exactly know what happened when you got injured and I don’t know what her intentions were when she dove, but maybe be civil with her? You don’t have to be best friends or anything. But do it for Landon.”</p><p>Josie is quiet. She’s quiet because Penelope is right. Sure, her grudge against Hope is alive and well, the dull pain in her right knee after she gets out of practice a daily reminder of what she’s lost, but Landon has nothing to do with her feud with Hope and it isn’t worth it to lose him over that. Besides, Hope and Landon seem to genuinely be into each other, and that’s good enough for her. </p><p>“For Landon,” she relents.</p><p>After they finish breakfast, Josie immediately calls Landon and apologizes for last night’s transgressions. She tells him that she’s willing to be civil with Hope and he replies with a relieved, “Thank you. That’s all I’m asking for.”</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello friends! another update coming your way. it’s a little shorter than usual, but i like the way the chapter ended and didn’t feel like it was appropriate to add another scene to it. hope you guys enjoy! </p><p>side note: to avoid any confusion, i wanted to mention that cal is another name for berkeley. cal is usually associated with their athletics program but i usually interchange the two names (fun fact: i’m a student there and yes, everything i said about the stanford rivalry is true).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After making up with Landon, Josie feels lighter, a huge burden lifted off her shoulders. She goes through the next few days with ease, juggling practice (including extra sessions), classes, more jam sessions with Landon on the Glade, lunch dates with her sister, and studying for her midterms since they’re well into September, indicating the first wave of exams. </p><p>Josie is an economics major which can get pretty competitive at Berkeley, so despite focusing a lot of her energy on soccer, she also focuses a considerable amount on school. It’s mostly due to the fact that she’s trying to be mindful that she may not go professional after college especially after her injury. Besides, it’s not like she hates it. She enjoys learning and has enjoyed it since she was little.</p><p>Before she knows it, she’s in Palo Alto doing dynamic stretches in her warm up gear a half an hour before the biggest game of her budding college career. </p><p>Josie glances over to the opposite side of the field and sees that the Stanford team is partaking in similar stretches. She catches a glimpse of auburn-colored hair and a red number 6 resting on the chest of a white jersey before her eyes unintentionally lock with ocean blues. The stare down isn’t necessarily hostile (Josie wonders if Landon told Hope of her promise to be civil), but the fire is there. The fire blazes when Hope appears to wear a smirk on her face, surely as an attempt to challenge her.</p><p>The Cal versus Stanford rivalry goes back for more than a century and it’s a large part of each of their campus cultures. Hating Stanford is basically ingrained in every Berkeley student’s personality and it fuels competition in sporting events regardless of what the sport is. In the women's soccer space, Cal is on a five-year losing streak against Stanford, which gives Josie more of a drive to beat the Cardinals. Well, that and the fact that she wants nothing more than to wipe that confident smirk off of Hope Mikaelson’s face. </p><p>Civility doesn’t excuse competition and even though Josie intends on giving Hope a break from her murderous glares and verbal jabs for the sake of her friendship with Landon, she still wants to beat her. It’s what it means to be an athlete at this level of the game after all.</p><p>Josie is the first to look away, refocusing on the task at hand. She’s not going to let the other girl get in her head. Not this time. </p><p>When she approaches the bench to grab a water bottle, somebody is there, waiting for her. She stiffens at the sight of him, but ventures forward anyway. Her coach would kill her if she doesn’t hydrate properly.</p><p>“Dad,” she acknowledges, her attention more on the water bottles laid out on the ground and not her father. </p><p>“Hey sweetie,” he cautiously greets as rubs the back of his neck with his hand. It’s his tell when he’s nervous. </p><p>Josie squirts some water into her mouth and wipes the excess from her lips with the back of her hand before finally facing him. He’s wearing black track pants, Nike sneakers, and a red long-sleeved jersey with the Stanford logo emblazoned on the chest.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be coaching your team?” Josie coldly asks upon glancing at the logo. She feels like it's there for the sole purpose of taunting her.</p><p>Alaric sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to say good luck.” </p><p>Josie merely glares at him, her arms crossed and her jaw clenched.</p><p>“We may be on opposing teams, but I still want you to play well,” he continues, trying to soften her up. Unfortunately, it does quite the opposite.</p><p>“That’s what I’ve been trying to do all these years. Didn’t seem to get your attention,” she bites out, her fists clenching by her sides as an attempt to control her anger. </p><p>She didn’t need this literally less than half an hour before such a big, career-defining game. Despite being fully aware that her father coaches the Stanford women’s team and that playing for Berkeley means that seeing him at games is going to be her new reality, she didn’t expect him to come over and try to talk to her—not when she’s doing her best to focus so she can play well. </p><p>Her father subtly flinches at the jab and sighs again. “I’ll leave you to it. That’s all I wanted to say.”</p><p>Josie stiffly nods in reply. As she turns around and goes back to her team to start some simple passing drills, she catches those ocean blue eyes again. Instead of the smirk that was there a few moments ago, Hope appears to be giving her a look of confusion with a dash of what looks like...concern? Josie figures that the Stanford player saw the tense exchange between her and her father, knowing fully well of their familial ties. The Saltzman name bears considerable weight in the soccer world after all. With that thought, she quickly looks away for the second time that day. </p><p>Josie doesn’t play well during the first half of the game and for once, it’s not because of Hope Mikaelson getting in her head. It’s because of her dad. This constant need for his approval gnaws at her like a monster that won’t die and she second guesses almost every decision she makes on the field, fully aware that he’s watching her. </p><p>They’re trailing Stanford by one goal thanks to Maya Machado, a rising freshman for the Cardinals, who scored within the first ten minutes, thoroughly frazzling Cal’s defense. Luckily for them, the Stanford frontline couldn’t seem to convert any of their other chances, so the score still stands at 1-0. </p><p>Meanwhile, Josie can’t seem to connect with her midfielders. Their crosses either get a bad touch from her, or the Stanford defenders easily read the play and steal the ball from her. Hope’s done it to her a handful of times in the span of the 45 minute half, but Josie chooses not to think about that. </p><p>At half time, Coach Williams pulls her aside before discussing their strategy for the second half to the rest of the team. </p><p>“Are you okay?” he asks. “Your touches are off.” She almost rolls her eyes at the absolutely mind boggling observation. <em>No shit</em>.</p><p>She grunts in frustration, looking down at her cleats. “I’m fine,” she says, an obvious lie.</p><p>Dorian tilts his head and is silent for a few seconds as he tries to read her.</p><p>“You better tell me what’s going on right now or else I’m going to bench you,” he threatens her, rightfully grabbing her attention. </p><p>Josie’s eyes widen at the threat. That’s the last thing she wants. She doesn’t want to helplessly watch her team lose from the sidelines and not have any power to change the outcome of the game. She decides to swallow her pride.</p><p>“It’s my dad,” she finally confesses. She hates how small she sounds when she says it. It’s pathetic.</p><p>A wave of understanding immediately crosses his face. Josie’s relationship with her father is something she never talks about, but everybody in her life who matters knows about it, including her coach. </p><p>“You cannot let that get in your head. Do you understand me?” he says, grabbing her shoulders to force her attention on his words. Easier said than done.</p><p>“I know you’re better than this, Saltzman,” he scolds her. She feels smaller than she did a second ago. “I want to see the player I saw when I scouted you during your senior year. The one with the drive to win even after everything else seemed to tell her she wasn’t going to. The one who came back from a seemingly career-ending injury and signed with another D1 school after losing her first scholarship.” He pauses, allowing Josie to fully take in his words. “You did that.”</p><p>Her fists clench by her sides in determination, a new drive coursing through her veins. Yes, she went through crap when she got injured and at times, she wanted to quit, but Coach Williams is right. She came back stronger than ever. She may not be the same physically, but that whole journey taught her to thrive in the face of adversity. This game is no exception.</p><p>“I got it. You can count on me,” she reassures him with conviction.</p><p>Coach Williams gives her a crooked smile and a nod, knowing fully well that his speech has sparked a new fire in the young forward.</p><p>The Josie Saltzman during the second half is completely different from the one that was playing in the first. Her touches are crisp, her possession on the ball unwavering, and her playmaking unmatched. She creates chances out of nothing and sees pockets in the defense that she would normally overlook. </p><p>By the 76th minute, she sets up a perfect through ball for Penelope who outruns Hope and swiftly taps the ball into goal, tying the game. Josie watches her rival slam her fist into the grass in obvious frustration, but her attention on the girl is quickly diverted when Penelope excitedly jumps on her as an appreciation for the assist.</p><p>1-1.</p><p>Once they all recollect themselves and go back to their original formation to reset, there is new life in the team now that the possibility of winning is becoming more of a reality. With 14 minutes left in the game, they can win this if they come together and make a collective final push. </p><p>As Josie waits for the referee to blow the whistle to signal kickoff, she catches Hope’s eyes across the field, an obvious vengeance in the way her eyebrows are furrowed and her lips are in a tight line. Josie knows that Hope hates losing just as much as she does. Playing with her for 11 years has told her that much. She knows that these next 14 minutes will be hell because of it.</p><p>The ball appears to be in a deadlock as the rest of the game resumes, each side’s defensive line quick to react. It’s obvious that both sides are hungry for the win. Josie’s having trouble getting past Hope who apparently made it a mission to mark her every time she steps onto Stanford’s defensive third. </p><p>With 3 minutes left on the clock, Josie knows that she needs to step up even more for Cal to get this win. She finds herself in possession of the ball after Olivia, her left midfielder, passes it to her after the latter sees a Stanford player charge towards her to try and dispossess her. As expected, Hope is right behind her just as she receives the pass, which prevents her from turning and getting a good look at the goal. Josie traps the ball under the studs of her cleat and she tries to maneuver it out of Hope’s way while she uses her arm to keep the Stanford defender from getting closer. She notices that Hope’s legs are wide open behind her, so she flicks the ball through the defender’s legs with her heel. Hope is momentarily stunned by the cheeky move and Josie quickly takes advantage as she turns around and chases after the ball. She sprints with the ball on her feet while another Stanford defender runs after her. She makes a final push to outpace the girl and shoots the ball towards the right hand corner of the goal. </p><p>Her sweet spot. Stanford’s goalkeeper had no chance.</p><p>1-2.</p><p>Josie doesn’t even completely register what she’s just done because her teammates are already piling on top of her, screaming in perfect bliss. When they finally let her stand, she sees Coach Williams on the sideline with a proud smile on his face and Josie can’t help but grin back. She wouldn’t have done it without his inspirational speech. She turns back around towards her teammates and notices that Hope is crouching down, her head turned towards the ground looking devastated and for the first time in the history of their rivalry, Josie doesn’t want to gloat. She doesn’t even want to try figuring out what that means.</p><p>Cal easily keeps the lead during the final minutes of the game by doing typical time wasting techniques. Before they know it, the final whistle is blown, and the five year losing streak is over. </p><p>Cal wins.</p><p>After they celebrate by squirting each other with water and dumping the whole cooler on Coach Williams, they all gather towards the center of the field and shake each other’s hands as an act of sportsmanship. </p><p>Once Josie gets to Hope, she firmly grips the defender’s hand and genuinely tells her, “Good game.” </p><p>Hope is caught a little off guard by the sincerity in her tone but quickly recovers. “Nice move,” she teases with a small smile.</p><p>She can’t help but smile back. She didn’t expect to be complimented back, especially regarding a move that left her rival a tad humiliated. She decides that she likes it.</p><p>For once, Josie doesn’t feel the burning anger that usually invades her chest after she interacts with Hope. Again, she doesn’t even want to try figuring out what that means.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>well hello lovelies! here's another update for you.</p><p>to prevent any confusion, i'm going to start explaining terminology and provide definitions for terms that you all may not be familiar with. of course, not understanding them won't take away from you enjoying the story since they're only just niche things, but it'll provide more context on the story's direction! i'll add them to the notes at the end to prevent any spoilers. that's all for now. i hope you enjoy!</p><p>comments are welcome, of course :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The win against Stanford dramatically changed the dynamic of the Cal women’s soccer team. It showed the girls their potential and the feats they could accomplish if they worked well together as a team. </p><p>It started with another win against Oregon which wasn’t much of a surprise since Oregon is pretty far down the ranks. But then they won against USC then against Washington, both of which have consistently been top-ranked in the PAC-12 for the past few years. Suddenly, they’re third in their conference, right below UCLA who’s ranked second, and Stanford whose only loss has been the one against Cal. </p><p>As for Josie, her performance against Stanford earned her a more permanent starting spot. She was dubbed a “super sub” when the season first started, coming in when the team needed fresh legs. Rightfully so, since she was just a freshman and still trying to establish her place on the field. However, Coach Williams felt that she was ready to take on a larger responsibility in the team and boy, did Josie deliver.</p><p>She scored two goals against Oregon and one goal each against USC and Washington. The last time she remembers playing this well was during her junior year of high school right before she suffered her knee injury. When considering that, it feels a little bittersweet since she knows that she’d be a much more advanced player at this point in her career if she wasn’t injured in the first place. She often wonders if she’d be thriving at UNC and it hurts for her to admit that yes, she absolutely would be. Her thoughts then begin to dangerously drift to Hope Mikaelson and a familiar tinge of anger sparks in her chest again. She quickly shakes her thoughts before they become uncontrollable, not wanting to destroy all of the progress she’s made. </p><p>Josie’s gotten little to no interaction with Hope after playing against her a little over 3 weeks ago. The way they acted towards each other at the end of the game was the most civil they’ve been to each other in years, and Josie likes to think that reducing that negativity in her life also has something to do with her scoring streak. But despite that, she wouldn’t go out of her way to talk to her, not when it’s necessary. Being civil when there’s still underlying and unaddressed animosity between them can also get tiring, so she avoids it. That is, until Landon makes it impossible for her.</p><p>They’re in the library working on their music theory project and Josie’s in the middle of taking a huge sip of water from her hydroflask when he proposes something out of the blue.</p><p>“You should have dinner with me and Hope,” he suggests with a small smile, casually tapping his book with his pencil. Ironic, considering that what he said was the complete opposite of casual. </p><p>Upon hearing this, Josie’s first instinct is to spit out all of the water she just drank. Unfortunately, she’s in a very public space and didn’t feel like embarrassing herself so her only other option is to borderline choke to death. Her shoulders violently shake and her hand comes up to her chest to try and soothe the cough attack, attracting a few eyes towards her table. Landon quickly reaches over and rubs her back, earning him a murderous glare from her. </p><p><em>“Seriously?”</em> she gasps out. He smiles sheepishly at her as she tries to catch her breath. </p><p>“Okay, that was my bad. I shouldn’t have asked when you were drinking water,” he apologizes as he tries containing his laughter.</p><p>Josie raises her eyebrows at him and punches his arm as revenge.</p><p>“Ow!” he yelps, rubbing the spot that she assaulted. She merely rolls her eyes. She barely even hit him. </p><p><em>“Anyway,”</em> he continues his thought. “Come on! It’ll be fun.”</p><p>Josie busies herself by typing up their report on her laptop. “I wouldn’t call it fun,” she finally chides. </p><p>Tolerating Hope Mikaelson during a soccer game is one thing. <em>But having dinner with her?</em> That requires much more than giving her a handshake and telling her she had a good game, and Josie doesn’t know if she has the emotional capacity to endure it. There’s so many things that could go wrong having her and Hope in an enclosed space together. Landon must know that.</p><p>It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t be like that,” he says, a tinge of annoyance starting to lace his voice. </p><p>It grabs Josie’s attention, promptly diverting her attention away from her screen. She sighs mainly because the conversation is starting to become reminiscent of the one they had at the frat party a few weeks ago. </p><p>“What more do you want from me, Lan? We didn’t pull each other’s hair out three weeks ago. I call that a win,” she jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work because Landon’s still looking at her a little exasperated. </p><p>“I want you to try, Jo. I don’t want to have to think twice about bringing her over here without there being tension. I just want us all to hang out in peace.”

</p><p>A second later, his face brightens like he’s thought of the most genius idea on the planet. “In fact, bring Penelope! That should make it better, right?” He really wants her to agree to this damn dinner.</p><p>Josie’s silent, still trying to process his words and figure out the best way to approach this. She doesn’t want to offend Landon like she did the last time they seriously talked about Hope, but she doesn’t want to go to this dinner either.</p><p>“You promised to be civil,” he reminds her. Well, Josie can’t really argue with that.</p><p>“Ugh, fine!”</p><p>---</p><p>“Why am I here again?” Penelope groans as she trudges behind Josie on the way to the restaurant. “It’s a Friday night. We could be Netflix and chilling if you catch my drift,” she suggestively adds, tracing her fingers on Josie’s wrist. </p><p>Josie turns around and pointedly looks at her. She’s already feeling unbelievably anxious about the whole situation she’s about to put herself through and she didn’t need Penelope egging her on on top of that.</p><p>“You’re here because there’s no way in hell I’m third wheeling my best guy friend and my archenemy, and you’re the closest thing I have to a girlfriend,” she explains for what feels like the hundredth time. Despite her exasperation, she intertwines her fingers with Penelope’s. She needs to ground herself to <em>something</em>.</p><p>Penelope smirks at her and Josie can’t tell if it’s because of her explanation or the fact that she gave into holding her hand. Nonetheless, she wants to smack her for being smug.</p><p>“Hmm I know. I just wanted to hear you say it again.”</p><p>Josie shakes her head and tries to contain her annoyance. She considers Penelope a close friend, which is self explanatory considering they’re literally fuck buddies, but the midfielder can get under her skin so easily. Another reason why a relationship between them would never work and their current arrangement does. </p><p>“Come on, we’re going to be late.” She speeds up and drags Penelope with her.</p><p>They arrive at the restaurant, a popular ramen shop in downtown Berkeley, a few minutes late. It was likely because Josie procrastinated getting ready until the absolute last minute, but she wouldn’t admit to that out loud. As expected, she sees that Hope and Landon are already situated in a booth near the entrance, engrossed in playful conversation. </p><p>For some reason, Josie and Penelope are still holding hands when they get to the booth, promptly garnering the attention of the couple. Landon quickly gets up and greets both of them with a hug. Hope follows suit, but she merely settles with a small wave and a tight-lipped smile. Josie suspects that she’s probably as anxious as she is which makes her feel a little better.</p><p>“Mikaelson,” she acknowledges with a nod, her tone missing its usual bite when she says that particular name.</p><p>“Saltzman,” the other girl neutrally replies without a beat. </p><p>Josie notices that she’s wearing a black leather jacket, a white v-neck, and stone-washed jeans, an outfit that seems unapologetically Hope Mikaelson. She can’t help but be annoyed at how pretty the Stanford defender is, a fact she’s known in the 11 years she’s known the girl, and another thing to add to Hope’s long list of blessings. </p><p>They exchange pleasantries and talk about trivial topics like the weather and classes while they order since they’re all still trying to break the ice. Well, it was more of Penelope carrying the conversation because Josie’s too uncomfortable to initiate anything. </p><p>“So Hope, what are you majoring in?” Penelope asks as she twirls some noodles with her chopsticks. </p><p>“Business,” she automatically replies since she’s probably been asked this question a ridiculous amount of times as a sophomore in college.</p><p>Penelope raises her eyebrows in surprise. Understandable, since Josie didn’t expect that either. Hope didn't seem like the type to study business. She seemed like she was more a humanities or a social science type. </p><p>“Oh yeah? What made you choose it?”</p><p>Hope shrugs while swirling her soup with her spoon. “Gotta be ready to take over my dad’s position somehow,” she says with a weak chuckle. Josie notices that she doesn’t seem too keen to the idea. </p><p>“You know, Josie’s majoring in econ. That’s pretty similar, right?” Landon contributes, surely trying to insert Josie into the conversation and provide a common ground. She knows he means well, but she still can’t help but feel annoyed. </p><p>“Oh, cool. What made you choose that?” Hope politely asks after she focuses her attention on her. </p><p>Josie barely thinks about her answer because it’s how she’s justified it to herself ever since she first set foot on campus. “I mean, I like math and stuff. But really, I wanted job stability since going pro is probably out the window. Things didn’t really go according to plan.”</p><p>She only realizes how it sounded when Penelope lightly elbows her and Landon looks at her with that stupid disappointed look on his face. Josie tries to gauge Hope’s reaction but when she shifts her eyes to her, the Stanford player is merely looking down at her food, unable to look her in the eye. She thinks it’s peculiar since she was expecting a passive aggressive comment in return and she almost feels bad.</p><p>“Oh, um. Sorry. I, uh, didn’t mean it that way,” she awkwardly apologizes. It’s obviously a lie. She wouldn’t have said it without thinking if it wasn’t true. Old habits die hard, but she <em>is</em> trying to keep her promise to Landon. </p><p>“You’re good.” Hope looks up from her food and gives her a weak smile. Josie feels a twinge of something in her gut and it feels an awful lot like guilt, but she doesn’t want to call it that.</p><p>Before the conversation turns sour, Hope’s already changing the subject. </p><p>“So, uh, how long have you guys been together?” she asks, pointing between Josie and Penelope with her chopsticks. </p><p>It was the right question to ask to break the tension because Josie and Penelope glance at each before suddenly bursting out in laughter. To make it even better, Landon softly chuckles across from them while Hope looks absolutely clueless, her cheeks bright red in embarrassment.</p><p>“Did I say something wrong?” she cautiously asks as she lowers her chopsticks. </p><p>Penelope is riding out her laughter and wiping tears from her eyes when she answers. “If you count meaningless hookups as a relationship, we’d be at a little under three months.” </p><p>Hope’s mouth drops in surprise and a moment later, she’s laughing along with the group. Josie decides that she likes this better than the verbal war that they usually have when they’re in the same room. Things may not be perfect and she still has a lot of baggage to sort through, but at least she feels lighter this way.</p><p>---</p><p>Considering the circumstances, dinner went better than Josie ever expected. Well, that’s if you ignore that little bit of tension in the beginning. She would count it as a win though because there wasn’t a fight and considering their history, that’s a pretty hefty accomplishment. It seemed to have quelled Landon’s worries about her rocky relationship with Hope since he doesn’t force Josie to hang out with them again. </p><p>A few more weeks go by and Josie’s still on her crazy scoring streak. They’ve defeated more lower ranked opponents which didn’t really do much to their ranking, but their last minute upset against UCLA last week moved them up to second place thanks to a goal that Josie scored during stoppage time. </p><p>They’re doing much better than they forecasted for the season and honestly, the whole thing has felt surreal. If they kept this up, they’d be a shoe-in for playoffs and even have the chance to play for the College Cup, an accomplishment that Cal hasn’t reached in the history of their women’s soccer program. Of course, it seems extremely far off, but that doesn’t stop Josie from dreaming.</p><p>Unfortunately, her success on the field is also accompanied by less desirable developments. For the first time in years, her dad’s been trying to reach her, possibly to check up on her and congratulate her on her scoring streak. Josie doesn’t exactly know the real reason, but she has absolutely no intention in finding out either. She knows that if she were to entertain his calls, she’d feel like nothing but shit and she didn’t need that kind of negativity when she’s been on a roll for weeks.</p><p>On a seemingly normal Saturday night, Raf and Landon decide to host a little kickback at their apartment as a small celebration for finishing their second wave of midterms. It’s fairly small—Lizzie, MG, Penelope along with a few other mutual friends are the only ones invited—but Josie prefers it that way anyway. Naturally, Landon invites Hope too, but she isn’t super bothered by it. She’s proven to herself that she can interact with the Stanford player without starting a fight during dinner a few weeks ago. In fact, the current situation is much better since she has enough alcohol in her system to keep her from being so damn tense and anxious. </p><p>They’re in the middle of a harmless game of King’s Cup when Josie’s phone unexpectedly rings. She fishes it out of her pocket and checks the caller ID but is only met with a number she doesn’t recognize. Her reasoning skills are a bit skewed due to the two vodka cranberries she’s consumed that night, so she steps out into the balcony, slides the door closed, and answers the call anyway.</p><p>“Hello?” she asks, trying to sound as sober as possible. </p><p>“Hi! Is this Josie Saltzman?” a man’s voice asks. Josie notices the British accent which piques her curiosity even more. Why does this random British man know who she is?</p><p>“Yes, this is her,” she skeptically confirms as she leans against the railing. </p><p>“Great! I’m Rupert Vardemus, the head coach of the U-20 women’s national team.” </p><p>Josie’s heart stops upon hearing the last few words of the sentence. <em>No way,</em> she thinks to herself. </p><p>“I’m calling to inform you that you’ve been selected to come to camp next week,” he continues. </p><p>Without even thinking Josie answers. <em>“You’re kidding,”</em> she says in absolute awe. Suddenly, she feels stone cold sober.</p><p>Coach Vardemus chuckles in response. “I’m not. I’ve watched your game footage. You’ve been doing exemplary these past few weeks. Well deserved,” he explains to her. </p><p>A comforting warmth emanates through her chest. Her hard work is paying off. </p><p>“Oh my God. Thank you so much!” she gratefully exclaims as runs a hand through her hair. All of this feels so surreal. </p><p>“My pleasure. I’ll have my staff send you an email talking more about details like flight bookings, a packing list, and other things of that nature.” </p><p>“Yes of course, I’ll be on the lookout!” Josie is still trying to control her breathing as she paces back and forth Landon and Rafael’s balcony.</p><p>“I’m looking forward to seeing you at camp, Josie,” he says, seemingly very genuine. “Goodbye.”</p><p>“Bye!”</p><p>With that, the phone call ends and Josie can’t believe that the last few minutes of her life just happened. She was sure that her national team dreams ended with her stint at the U-17 youth national team because of her injury, but this just proved that it was alive and well. Amidst her excitement, she aggressively slides the balcony door open, startling everybody in the living room. </p><p>“I got called up to the U-20s!” she exclaims, lifting her phone up to add effect. </p><p>Almost everybody’s mouth drops open in surprise. Lizzie jumps up and attacks Josie with a hug first while everybody else follows suit, screaming out a mixture of “Congratulations!” and “Oh my God!” There’s so much commotion that nobody notices Hope’s phone ring in her hand, the Stanford player recognizing the number immediately. She sneaks past the huge group hug and goes into the balcony to take the call, much like Josie did a few minutes ago. </p><p>The group is in the middle of pouring out celebratory shots when Hope steps back in, grabbing everyone’s attention. </p><p>She has on a crooked smile but is also nervously twisting the rings on her fingers. It makes Josie feel like she’s about to say something big. </p><p>Hope says only one thing, yet it explains a lot.</p><p>“Josie, I guess I’ll see you at camp.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>PAC-12: (short for the pacific 12) the athletic conference that Berkeley and Stanford plays in. it basically consists of schools who play each other during the regular season. it's mainly west coast schools like Arizona, Oregon, Washington, UCLA, USC, among others, that are in this conference.</p><p>U-20 Youth National Team: a team that's called up consisting of the best players in the United States that are aged under 20 years old. they compete against other countries' U-20 teams. the same logic applies to U-17 which i mentioned in previous chapters.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello, update number 5 is here! if i'm being completely honest, i would have posted this sooner and i was literally in the middle of writing this and was on a roll, but then this girl who i lowkey have a fat crush on wanted to netflix party something, and of course, i'm so whipped that i dropped everything i was doing to watch something with her. </p><p>but hey, i somehow finished (and it's extra long hehe) enjoy!</p><p>i always love reading your comments, so please keep them coming!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite the initial shock that Josie felt when Hope first announced her call-up, she thought more about it and realized that she shouldn’t even be surprised. The Stanford defender has been at the top of her game since high school and she didn’t go through any life changing injuries that would have inhibited her growth as a player. Stanford won the College Cup during Hope’s freshman year and as a sophomore, she’s a well-established starter and probably next in line to be team captain. Not to mention, her team’s at the top of their conference and will most likely be in the playoffs. Rivalry or not, if Josie was the coach of the U-20s, she’d call Hope up without even thinking. Josie rationalizes that going to camp with her is a small price to pay for her journey in becoming one of the best again and she was more than willing to pay that price.</p><p>The week after she received the call from Coach Vardemus was probably the longest week that she’s ever endured in her life. Lectures seemed to drag more than they usually do and no amount of extra training sessions could quell all of the excitement (and a good bit of anxiousness) in her body. Finally, the day she’s set to leave comes and she gets on a plane to Chicago, still unable to contain all of her nervous energy. </p><p>She gets to the hotel right after lunch time, opting to catch a fairly early flight in favor of having some time to explore the city before their scheduled welcome dinner. She’s never been to Chicago but she’s heard many good things about the city from MG who spent most of his childhood there. </p><p>The hotel is pretty high-end from the looks of the lobby. There’s an indoor waterfall that overlays the hotel logo right next to the reception desk and the cream-colored couches arranged in the center of the room seem much more comfortable than her bed back in Berkeley. This isn’t much of a surprise considering that she’s here to represent her country, so the team gets pretty spoiled.</p><p>Josie goes through the motions of checking in and grabbing her room key before heading up to her assigned room. Once she opens the door, she is met with two queen sized beds and a large window that frames a beautiful view of the city. She takes a second to admire the view of the clear blue sky and the colossal skyscrapers, a smile creeping onto her face as she takes it all in.</p><p>Afterwards, Josie notices that there is already an open suitcase that is overflowing with clothes next to the bed by the window. She guesses that her roommate has already arrived, sparking a shadow of apprehension in her gut. Considering that this is her first call-up to the team, the prospect of meeting 23 talented soccer players she’s either never met before or haven’t seen in a long time seems a little daunting and it’s probably one source of her anxiety regarding camp. </p><p>Upon further inspection, it seems like said roommate probably stepped out for a bit, much to her relief. She’s glad that she has a bit more time to compose herself.</p><p>Her moment of peace doesn’t last long because she’s in the middle of unpacking her suitcase when she hears a faint beep by the door and the sound of the doorknob turning, indicating that her roommate has indeed decided to go back up to her room. As she looks up from what she’s doing to acknowledge that she heard the other girl come in, she’s met with familiar blue eyes, auburn hair, and pale skin. Her stomach drops to her feet. <em>Oh no.</em></p><p>The other girl seems to be thinking the same thing because her mouth is agape in surprise and her eyes are so wide that they almost look like pools of water.</p><p>They stare at each other for a good minute, both at an absolute loss for words. Josie wants to curse the universe for repeatedly <em>playing</em> her for the past month and a half of her life. How has she managed to live Hope Mikaelson-free for two years only to suddenly be put into ridiculous situations with her in the most inconvenient times? </p><p>“Hey roomie,” Josie blandly greets, finally breaking the silence. This is <em>definitely</em> worse than rooming with a stranger. </p><p>Hope closes the door behind her and pockets her room key in her sweatpants. </p><p>“This has got to be a joke right?” her new roommate scoffs.</p><p>Josie would’ve thought that Hope was being hostile if it wasn’t for the small chuckle that punctuated the question. It immediately breaks the palpable tension that first appeared when Hope first stepped in the room because Josie can’t help but laugh at how unbelievable the situation is herself. </p><p>Hope walks over from her spot by the door and sits on her bed. Josie’s still in a crouching position, her hands deep in her suitcase, but she decides to follow suit and sit on her own bed, her body slightly turned towards Hope. It’s a subtle indicator that she’s willing to have a conversation with the Stanford defender and she bristles at the thought but pushes it down quickly.</p><p>“Who would’ve thought that we’d meet again because you’re dating <em>my best friend</em>, we’d both get called up to the same team, and end up as roommates all in a span of two months? What are the fucking odds?” Josie comments, still laughing.</p><p>If she was told two months ago that she’d be in this situation, she would be fuming at the prospect of Hope making an unusually significant appearance in her life, but she only really feels amused which is unexpected but not necessarily unpleasant.</p><p>Hope gives her a nose-crinkling smile in return and Josie decides that she likes it better than the indignation she usually receives after she provokes the other girl. </p><p>“Landon would be over the moon right now if he found out this was happening,” Hope muses, eliciting a smile on Josie’s face at the thought of a relieved Landon. Josie doesn’t exactly know when the dynamic between her and Hope shifted from not being able to be in the same room together to this, but she doesn’t let herself question it.</p><p>The conversation goes back to being awkward, both girls not knowing what to say to each other after the absurdity of the unfortunate rooming situation fades. Hope’s mindlessly playing with the hem of her pillowcase when Josie stands up to grab her phone and puts on her jacket.</p><p>“I’m going to check the city out for a bit. I’ll be back before dinner,” she says before heading towards the door.</p><p>Hope looks up from the pillow she’s been playing with and gives her a tight-lipped smile to acknowledge that she heard her. </p><p>Josie’s about to turn the doorknob and head out when she stutters in her step and swiftly turns back around.</p><p>“Hey,” she says without thinking, grabbing the auburn-haired girl’s attention who immediately looks up in question. </p><p>Josie hesitates. “Do you maybe want to come?” she asks. “Unless you have other plans. In that case, you really don’t have to,” she quickly adds in an effort to make her question sound more casual. Her inner subconscious is screaming for her to take it back and turn around, but she can’t. She wants this to work. She wants to change.</p><p>Hope raises her eyebrows at the proposition and there’s too long of a pause that makes Josie <em>really</em> want to take it back. Before she can open her mouth, Hope’s giving her that nose-crinkling smile again.</p><p>“I’ll give you a tour,” she finally says as she stands up and grabs her phone from the side table. </p><p>Josie raises her eyebrows in response. Last time she checked, Hope was a New Orleans native.</p><p>“My dad does business here a lot, so I’ve spent a few summers in the area,” Hope clarifies, probably seeing the confusion written on her face.</p><p>“Ah,” Josie says. Being the daughter of a CEO certainly warrants that. “I was just gonna go off of MG’s recommendations but having a tour guide is much better,” she muses as they leave their room and head down. </p><p>Hope chuckles.</p><p>Their hotel is in the heart of downtown, so everything there is to see in Chicago is within walking distance. They start with the Willis Tower then work their way through Riverwalk, the Bean, Maggie Daley Park, and the Buckingham Fountain before ending at the Lakefront. </p><p>Doing this with Hope was awkward at first, each girl not really knowing what to talk about as they ventured the streets of Chicago. But as they saw more sights, Josie became more comfortable asking questions about the city and the specific sight they were admiring. She didn’t expect Hope to know a lot about the city, taking her comment about spending her summers there with a grain of salt. To her surprise, the Stanford defender certainly knew her stuff, happily answering all of her questions with ease and even throwing in random history lessons.</p><p>“I know you spent your summers here, but there’s no way you knew all those fun facts just from spending time here,” she wonders out loud once they get back to the hotel. </p><p>“You caught me.” Hope laughs as they step into the elevator to go up to their room. They decided to drop their jackets off and change into fresher clothes for dinner. “I like history a lot, so I read up on random historical topics in my free time. I think it’s pretty relaxing,” she explains as she shrugs like it’s nothing.</p><p>“That’s really cool,” Josie says with no trace of the sarcasm that would’ve been dripping from that statement if this was her two months ago. Instead, she can’t help but admire Hope for that. She seems really intelligent and beyond just being a talented soccer player.</p><p>Hope finishes up first, but Josie is surprised to find the auburn-haired girl still in their room, lounging on her bed as she plays on her phone. She wordlessly gets up and follows suit when Josie heads out the door. </p><p>The thought that Hope was waiting for her so they could go down together briefly crosses her mind but she quickly shakes it. They’re not close enough for that. She was probably just relaxing after a long day of walking around.</p><p>They’re early by the looks of the half-empty conference room, girls slowly trickling in. She’s barely inside when someone yells out her name.</p><p>“Josie!”</p><p>Josie briskly turns towards the sound and is met with Dana Lilien. </p><p>“Dana?” she asks in disbelief at the sight of her high school teammate and best friend. </p><p>The blonde gives her a hug which she happily returns. </p><p>Dana was Mystic Falls High’s other starting forward and her and Josie grew close mainly because they worked really well together during matches. Josie likes to think that their partnership was a big reason why they won the state championship their sophomore year.</p><p>“I didn’t expect you to get called up to the U-20s!” Dana says with an edge to her voice that she fails to recognize. Unbeknownst to Josie, Hope does and she doesn’t like it.</p><p>“Me neither,” the Cal forward chuckles. “Had a pretty crazy streak that somehow landed me here,” she humbly adds, a strong contrast to her confidence in high school. Josie Saltzman at the peak of her game would have said something along the lines of “Of course, I got called up! Are you crazy?” But things change and she’s fresh meat now.</p><p>“Well hey, I’d love to hear more about it,” the blonde says before grabbing Josie’s arm and pointing her head towards a table behind her. “Come sit with us! I’ll introduce you to some of the girls.”</p><p>Josie balks at that, suddenly remembering that Hope is still very much next to her. She turns towards her roommate and looks at her with questioning eyes. Josie can’t distinguish if she’s doing it to quietly invite Hope to sit with them or to simply tell Hope that she wasn’t planning to sit with her. She doesn’t need to answer it herself because Hope answers for her.</p><p>“It’s fine. Some of my friends are waiting for me over there,” the Stanford defender says as she points behind her. </p><p>Upon closer inspection, Josie notices that Hope’s eyebrows are slightly furrowed, her mouth in a tight line. She decides that they’re not close enough to ask her what was wrong, so she merely nods and walks the other direction, Dana dragging her over to her table. </p><p> Since she arrived to dinner relatively early, Josie had time to introduce herself to some of the girls at her table. They all come from a variety of backgrounds and positions, some of which involve schools in the likes of UCLA, Virginia, and Florida State, notable collegiate soccer powerhouses. </p><p>The girls seem really nice, gassing her up when she started talking about how well Cal’s been doing in the PAC-12. Some of them have even watched one of her games and complimented her goal scoring, which does wonders to ease the anxieties that’s been sitting in her gut all day. However, Alyssa Chang, a central midfielder, and Dana’s teammate at UNC for some reason isn’t too fond of her. She’s not necessarily mean to her or anything, but it’s the vibe she gives off. Josie decides to ignore it, chalking it up to shaky first impressions. </p><p>Coach Vardemus gives the team a quick welcome and introduces the rest of his training staff to everyone, sparking more excitement and anticipation for what is to come in the next week. When he finishes, Josie moves to turn back to her table when she catches Hope looking at her with what seems like concern. Josie furrows her eyebrows at her, unable to think of a good reason why Hope would be looking at her like that. The auburn-haired girl quickly looks away and shifts her attention to who Josie recognizes as Maya, Hope’s teammate who scored Stanford’s single goal against Cal several weeks ago. </p><p>Josie doesn’t get a chance to interact with Hope anymore that night since Dana invites her over to her room to watch a movie with a few of their teammates. Of course, she immediately accepts, seeing the invitation as an opportunity to catch up with her old teammate and form friendships within the team. She figures it’ll only benefit her. </p><p>Hope’s already fast asleep when Josie gets back to her room and after a quick shower, it doesn’t take long for her to follow suit, the physical and emotional exhaustion she’s felt throughout the day finally getting to her.</p><p>---</p><p>When Josie wakes up, Hope is already awake and ready for morning practice, dressed in their compulsory USA-emblazoned training gear.</p><p>“Shit, did I sleep in too late?” she frantically asks as she scrambles out of bed. </p><p>Hope merely laughs at her panicked state.</p><p>“You’re fine. I just woke up extra early and had nothing else to do,” her roommate reassures her, looking at her training watch. “The bus leaves in 45.” </p><p>“Okay, good,” she says, sighing out in relief. </p><p>Hope grabs her room key from the table then turns toward her. “Though, you probably won’t have time to eat breakfast. I’m heading down to grab a quick bite. Do you want me to bring anything up?” </p><p>Hope’s probably just trying to be polite, but Josie appreciates the thought anyway. </p><p>“Yes, that’d be amazing. Just grab whatever for me,” she tells her roommate. “Thanks,” she says after a beat.</p><p>“No problem,” Hope says with a small smile before heading out.</p><p>Josie finishes getting ready in half an hour, also sporting the same uniform that Hope was already wearing earlier that morning. She admires the outfit as she looks at herself in the mirror, the navy blue of the ensemble contrasting the red stripe that runs down the side of the jersey and shorts. The USA logo sits on the left side of her chest and Josie can’t help but stare at it like it’s elusive treasure. It’s a constant reminder for her to live in the moment and to be grateful being given such a once in a lifetime opportunity that any athlete her age would dream of. </p><p>She is in the middle of putting her socks on when Hope comes back with a plate of fruit and rye toast, a typical breakfast for a high-level athlete. Josie scarfs it down in only ten minutes and her and Hope head down to the lobby to meet up with the rest of the team and board the bus that will take them to the field.</p><p>As expected, Dana comes up to her and asks if she wants to be bus buddies while Hope goes ahead and looks for Maya, presumably intending to sit with her fellow Cardinal. </p><p>Once they get to the field, Coach Vardemus gathers them by the sideline to make a few comments before getting started.</p><p>“I’ve mentioned this last night, but I’m so very excited to be at camp with you all. As you are all probably aware, this camp ends with a friendly against France. Some of you may feel like you’ve already established your place on this team,” he says as he glances at Hope, Dana, and a number of other veterans. “but I wouldn’t be complacent. There are new faces here who show real promise,” he continues as he redirects his attention to Josie, Maya, and a few other girls. </p><p>Josie senses several sets of eyes on her and it takes so much for her not to crawl under a rock. </p><p>“I expect each and every one of you to put everything into practice. My training staff and I will be observing everyone here and we will make a decision on playing time based on what we see during the entirety of camp. Any questions?” </p><p>Josie gulps. Vardemus’s speech reignited the nerves that she thought have disappeared last night. She hasn’t played at a level like this in a long time, and she’s worried that she’s going to crack under pressure. </p><p>When no one asks any questions, Vardemus continues. “We’ll start with stretches and warm-up passing drills. Then we’ll go ahead and do 6v6 scrimmages,” he says, listing the agenda for practice that day. </p><p>Stretches and warm ups go by without a hitch since it was all very elementary, the routine most likely ingrained in every player there. They are certainly important because you’d be risking getting injured without doing them, but they’re also hard to mess up.</p><p>They split up into four teams of six and Hope and Josie are put into a team together. Josie isn’t surprised at this point considering how coincidental everything Hope Mikaelson-related has been in her life. In fact, the two girls share a look and shoot each other an amused smile before tuning back into whatever Matt, one of the trainers, is saying about how the scrimmage would work. They’re playing against Dana and Maya, among others, and Josie knows that it’s a good match up. </p><p>They start the scrimmage off slow, both sides still getting a feel for the ball before doing anything drastic. As Josie gets more comfortable, she sees a potential opportunity for goal and runs up the side of the field to start the play. She calls for the ball and Hope immediately reads her and passes. Josie immediately passes it back diagonally, out of Dana’s reach, and Hope effortlessly taps it into goal. </p><p>Josie runs over to Hope who gives her a high-five without hesitating. “Good assist, Saltzman!” she compliments with a crooked smile.</p><p>“Nice finish!” Josie says, returning the gesture. “For a defender,” she adds with a teasing smirk at the last minute, earning her an eye roll from the Stanford player.</p><p>For the next half an hour, Hope and Josie work together like they’ve been playing on the same team for years. When Josie isn’t scoring, she’s creating chances for Hope, and when Hope isn’t scoring, she’s giving Josie well placed crosses that fall right at her feet. It’s certainly gotten the training staff’s attention because when Josie volleys an impeccable cross from Hope into goal, Vardemus is there to see it. </p><p>“Good goal, Saltzman. Keep it up,” he praises her before walking away, presumably to observe the other 6v6 scrimmage. </p><p>Josie smiles to herself, happy to already be recognized so early into camp. In the corner of her eye, she sees that Dana is extremely frustrated with the fact that her team is losing, aggressively kicking the grass next to the goal. She supposes that the blonde’s temper from high school never really went away. </p><p>They take a ten minute break to hydrate before playing the second 6v6 game that day. She’s squeezing water into her mouth and catching her breath when Dana comes up to her.</p><p>“So, I see you and Mikaelson are friends now,” Dana nonchalantly comments as she grabs a water bottle from the cooler. </p><p>Josie looks at her and thinks back to the past few interactions she’s had with Hope recently. They weren't hostile by any means and they’ve even shared a few laughs together. But would she call it friendship? She wasn’t sure.</p><p>“We’re being civil,” is what she settles with before drinking more water.</p><p>“Wouldn’t have expected that from you, Saltzman,” the UNC forward replies with a subtle bite. </p><p>“What do you mean?” the brunette asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.</p><p>Dana sighs as if she’s frustrated by Josie’s inability to recognize the obvious. “Are you seriously dancing with the enemy?” </p><p>Josie’s stomach drops. She doesn’t know how to answer that.</p><p>“You don’t get it,” she says, a weak attempt to defend herself. </p><p>She thinks back to the frat party when Landon begged her to give Hope a chance and she thinks back to yesterday when Hope went out of her way to give her a comprehensive tour of Chicago. She tightly grabs onto those memories as a way ground herself emotionally.</p><p>“Let’s not forget that she ruined your college dreams, temporarily ended your stint at nationals, and is now being coached by <em>your dad</em>,” Dana continues, listing all of Hope Mikaelson’s offenses against her. </p><p>Josie’s fists clench by her sides at the mention of her father. Hot, white, and familiar anger starts trickling into her chest like the dam that’s been containing it is cracking. Dana doesn’t seem to notice how much her words are affecting the brunette because she doesn’t hesitate to continue.</p><p>“<em>Your dad</em>, who left when you were 10 years old to chase after his dreams and didn’t come back no matter how much you wanted him to. You worked your ass off to be recognized as an athlete and it still wasn’t enough for him to come back. Meanwhile, Hope Mikaelson is getting the mentorship you’ve been craving from him for years and you’re telling me you’re being <em>civil</em> with her?” </p><p>The dam keeps cracking with every word that's thrown at her. Josie becomes angrier and angrier as Dana surfaces a grudge that she’s held deep within her heart—a grudge that she suppresses because of how much it makes her blood boil and how much it clouds her rationality. </p><p>“I didn’t expect for you to be so weak, Saltzman,” Dana says with an air of finality, marking the end of her verbal assault.</p><p>With that, the dam breaks and Josie shuts down.</p><p>“I’m not weak,” she almost growls out. “I still hate her. I always have,” she blankly says as she tries to keep her eyes from spilling unshed tears.</p><p>The fiery red that clouds her perception prevents her from noticing the shadow of a smirk that dances on Dana’s face.</p><p>A whistle is blown, signaling the end of their water break, and the two girls head back to their respective teams. </p><p>Hope comes up to her and makes a harmless joke about crushing their next opponent, but Josie rudely brushes her off, catching the defender off guard. Hope looks around in confusion before her eyes settle on Dana who quickly turns her head away, a lousy attempt to disguise the fact that she was watching them. With that, Hope can’t help but think that her and Josie are back to square one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't fret! all will be well again in the next chapter. stay tuned :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another extra long chapter for y'all since it's the last week of classes and i prob won't have as much time to update because i'm gonna be catching up on work. i'll try my best to get another update out soon though! in the meantime, enjoy chapter 6. </p><p>as always, comments are encouraged :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Saltzman! I’m wide open!” Josie hears Hope yell out for the umpteenth time. Josie has also ignored her for the umpteenth time, opting to shoot at the goal anyway. The shot was taken at a ridiculous angle so it doesn’t even go on target.</p><p>The Cal forward huffs in disapproval at the missed goal, and Hope stomps over to her looking unbelievably frustrated. </p><p>“What the hell was that?” the Stanford defender exclaims as she roughly points in the direction of where the ball ended up flying to. </p><p>Josie glares at her and turns her back towards her, refusing to let the conversation continue. </p><p>“Leave me the fuck alone, Mikaelson,” she coldly snarls. </p><p>Hope ignores the venom in her voice and presses on anyway.</p><p>“I don’t know what the hell Dana said to make you despise me so much that you refuse to acknowledge my existence,” Hope irritatedly says before pausing. “But get it together,” she bites out, instantly grabbing the attention of the brunette who swiftly turns around and scowls at her. </p><p>Josie is so close to Hope that their noses are almost touching. “Don’t tell me what to do."

</p><p>Hope seems unfazed as she steps back and rolls her eyes at the warning, enraging Josie even more. <em>Is this all just a game to her</em>? </p><p>“Vardemus has been watching you and by the looks of it, he doesn’t like what he sees.” Hope still sounds irritated but her tone is now also colored by a touch of concern.</p><p>Josie balks at that, her anger lowering to a more manageable level. Hope’s comment grounds her enough to remind her that she’s still at camp and the whole training staff is still watching her. Her little show of ignoring Hope massively threw her off of her game and by the annoyed looks of some of her teammates, it disrupted the flow of her team. End point, it made her look <em>really</em> bad. </p><p>“Why the fuck do you even care?” Josie argues back, her jaw clenched and arms crossed. Dana’s words are still swirling in her subconscious, and they remind her that Hope is still the enemy.</p><p>The Stanford player hesitates for a second, seemingly debating with herself. Josie doesn’t understand why it takes her so long and she quickly grows impatient. She’s about to say something that would have surely exacerbated the conflict when Hope finally does.</p><p>“I can already see how this will all pan out because it’s <em>always</em> the same shit between us,” Hope snaps as she points between the two of them. “If you keep this up, Vardemus won’t give you playing time against France, and you’ll blame me like you have been all these years. Am I right?” Hope hotly accuses her. There is a silent fury in her accusation that Josie is unfamiliar with and it unexpectedly doesn’t aggravate her. </p><p>She has argued with Hope more times than she can count and she always knows exactly what to say to push the other girl’s buttons. But for once, Josie doesn’t know what to say. The Hope in front of her is not frustrated, annoyed, or even exasperated. She’s angry. </p><p>Unlike Josie’s loud and vocal rage, Hope’s anger is quiet and restrained, and it shows in the way her jaw clenches so tight that it looks like she’s grinding her teeth and the crease between her eyebrows deepens. It catches the brunette off guard because <em>she’s</em> supposed to be the angry one. It also catches her off guard because everything Hope accuses her of is right and hearing it out loud, she recognizes that it sounds so fucking <em>irrational</em>. In a moment of clarity, Josie realizes that Hope didn’t even throw her off her game. Dana did.</p><p>Hope doesn’t seem to wait for an answer because she vigorously shakes her head and looks up at the sky in frustration, an attempt to collect herself and shake off her brief moment of anger. </p><p>“You know what? Forget it. Just play the fucking game and pass me the damn ball,” she mutters. </p><p>Josie immediately recognizes that Hope’s tone is back to being that of exasperation and not anger, and despite the unpleasant words that were just spoken to her, Josie decides that she likes it that way better. </p><p>Hope turns around and stomps back to her starting position before she can even get a word in. </p><p>Josie starts passing the ball to Hope again.</p><p>---</p><p>They arrive back at the hotel for lunch and Josie is so ashamed of how poorly she played during the second half of practice that she opts to grab something to eat downstairs with the intention of eating in her room instead of grabbing lunch with some of the girls in the city.</p><p>She’s on her way to her room after collecting a sandwich and a bottle of water when she hears Dana laughing through a door that’s slightly ajar. She can’t help but move closer to listen in on the conversation. </p><p>“You should’ve seen how much she ate it up, Alyssa,” Dana snickers. </p><p>Josie’s eyebrows furrow. <em>Is she talking about her</em>? She tries giving Dana the benefit of the doubt. She’s Josie’s best friend from Mystic Falls, for fuck’s sake.</p><p>“I could tell! She looked like an amateur not passing the ball to Hope. Vardemus is probably regretting calling her up as we speak,” Alyssa adds as she laughs hysterically. </p><p>Josie starts to feel hot tears welling in her eyes. They’re <em>definitely</em> talking about her. </p><p>“For a second, I thought that my starting spot was in jeopardy, but I just had to bring her dad up and it worked like a charm. Best part is, her hatred for Mikaelson is so deep that she’ll believe anything I say. Hope doesn’t even stand a chance. It’s her word against mine,” Dana muses like she’s the smartest fucking person in the planet. </p><p>Josie is so angry that she wants to storm into the room, grab the blonde, and punch her in the face. How dare she use her father against her? She’s so close to making her presence known when Dana continues her thought. </p><p>“God, using Hope Mikaelson against her is so fucking easy. I’ve been doing it since high school.” </p><p>This immediately grabs Josie’s attention and sobers her up. <em>Since high school</em>? Josie stays rooted in her place and decides that she should keep listening because she wants answers.</p><p>She doesn’t get them because she hears rustling before hearing Dana say “I’m hungry. Let’s go.” </p><p>Josie’s eyes widen and she scrambles to leave her spot by Dana’s door. The last thing she wants is to get caught. </p><p>She’s able to hide in a corner, her eyes peeking over to see that Dana and Alyssa are mindlessly chattering as they head the opposite direction to the elevators to go downstairs. She rests her back against the wall and slides down to sit on the floor, letting out the breath that she’s been holding. </p><p>Dana’s obviously using Hope as a weapon against her, a fact that she suspected when she was arguing with Hope during the scrimmage. Of course, it was all a theory and she wanted to give the blonde a benefit of the doubt due to their history, but it’s obviously all thrown out the window now. She still can’t shake the fact that Dana’s been doing this since <em>high school</em>. To what extent? She didn’t know. Has everything she’s believed been a lie? </p><p>She swiftly stands up and marches to her room to get answers from the one person she can probably trust at the moment. </p><p>She roughly opens the door after shoving her key into the slot, startling her roommate who is busy browsing on her phone. </p><p>“What do you want, Saltzman?” Hope tiredly asks as she locks her phone and throws it on her bed. </p><p>Josie ignores the tone in her voice and presses on. </p><p>“Tell me what happened that night.” </p><p>Hope’s eyebrows furrow in confusion at first, but she quickly realizes what the brunette is talking about. She glares at her, annoyed at the proposition.</p><p>“Oh <em>now</em> you want to hear my side of the story?” she shoots back, sarcasm dripping from her statement. </p><p>“<em>Please</em>,” she begs. It’s so soft that Hope almost doesn’t hear it. </p><p>After realizing that the past two years of her life have probably been built on a lie, Josie was starving to find out the truth and she knew that Hope was the only person who could give it to her.</p><p>Hope’s shoulders relax and her eyes soften as she realizes that Josie is dead serious and in desperate need of answers. </p><p>“Sit down. It’ll take some time,” she finally relents.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <strong><em>2 years ago</em></strong>
</p><p>Hope Mikaelson admires Josie Saltzman. </p><p>Hope’s known Josie for a while, first encountering her when she played for a youth team in Mystic Falls shortly after her parents enrolled her into Salvatore. She was fairly new to the sport, her mother signing her up for a team thinking that it would be a great way for her to make friends in her new home. Her mother also played when she was in college, so she was hoping to pass that passion down to her daughter.</p><p>Hope wasn’t very good at it at first, constantly tripping on herself on the field and losing the ball to other girls. Her juvenile temper didn’t exactly help and after a particularly bad game in which she falls down and scrapes her knee, she wants to quit. </p><p>She’s sitting on the ground as her lip quivers and her knee throbs in pain when a shadow suddenly casts over her. A girl with brown hair, shiny chocolate eyes, and pouty lips looks down at her in concern.</p><p>“Are you okay?” the girl asks as she reaches her hand out to help Hope up. </p><p>Her urge to cry disappears and she merely looks at the girl with wonder.</p><p>“I’m okay,” she says as she grabs the girl’s hand and stands up, dusting dirt off of her legs. “I’m just not very good at this,” she adds, sadness lacing her voice.</p><p>The girl gives her a soft smile. “It’s okay, I’m not either,” she chuckles. “But we all start out this way, right?”</p><p>Hope smiles at the girl’s optimism. “Yeah, I guess so?” </p><p>The girl beams. “You’ll get better. I can feel it,” she says before a voice bellows out, catching the brunette’s attention. </p><p>“Josie! Join the huddle!” </p><p><em>Josie</em>, Hope thinks. <em>So that’s what her name is</em>. </p><p>It’s 9 years later but the memory resurfaces because as a senior, Hope is playing her final rivalry game against Josie and the Mystic Falls girls soccer team. She doubts that Josie even remembers such a mundane instance that happened a long time ago, but for Hope, it is the main reason why she decided not to quit that fateful day.</p><p>Josie’s innocent belief in her motivated her to become a better player. Despite falling and tripping many times in the beginning, Hope eventually got the hang of the sport. She learned how to balance herself and be more aggressive on the field. When she was 12, she found that she was really good at stepping up and getting in people’s way, so from then on, she found solace in being a defender. </p><p>As they grew up and worked their way through the youth soccer tier, Hope also saw Josie blossom into an unstoppable forward, the brunette knowing the game like the back of her hand. Hope being the shy, introverted type, she found that Josie really intimidated her. The brunette was a confident and talented player that was popular and incredibly likeable, and Hope didn’t think she could measure up to being her friend. </p><p>In typical Hope Mikaelson fashion, she’d shut down and act stupid whenever Josie would try to interact with her. As they both grew older, she noticed that Josie started to take it the wrong way, and eventually, an icy rivalry formed between them. The fact that they played for schools buried in a decades-long rivalry didn’t help their relationship either. Mystic Falls students hated Salvatore and everybody in it. Because Hope didn’t feel like she really had the power to change how the cards have been dealt, she just let things be. Besides, the rivalry constantly sitting in the back of her mind pushed her drive to win anyway.</p><p>It’s the same frigid interaction they’ve had for years when they give each other the captain’s handshake at the start of the game. Hope feels bad when she sees Josie frown when her smile isn’t reciprocated, but she’s here to win and there isn’t any time for pleasantries.</p><p>Hope is frustrated when Mystic Falls scores first knowing that Salvatore was dethroned by them at the state championships last year. She’s watching the Timberwolves celebrate Josie’s goal when she catches something peculiar: Dana Lilien isn’t happy. In fact, she looks kind of mad. Her eyebrows are knitted and her fists are subtly clenched by her sides. They loosen up when Josie comes up to her and drags her into the celebration as if the anger never existed. Hope soon dismisses it thinking that it’s none of her business. Besides, her biggest problem is motivating her team to catch up to Mystic Falls.</p><p>Several minutes later, Josie maneuvers her way through Salvatore’s defense and Hope marks Dana in anticipation for a pass from the brunette. Dana is thinking the same thing because the blonde is aggressively yelling for the ball. However, Josie ignores her and tries to dribble through the other Salvatore defenders. Hope uses her arm to keep Dana from opening herself up to receive a pass but the latter still calls for the ball.</p><p>“Josie! Here!” Hope notices that she’s getting irritated. </p><p>As Josie sprints forward, too engrossed in what she’s doing, Dana runs as fast as the brunette is, and in response, Hope tries to keep up with her. When Josie falters in her step to look up and aim her shot, Hope is ready to extend her leg to block the ball when she feels a body collide into hers. She falls into Josie’s direction who trips over her, the forward’s body slamming onto the ground. </p><p>Hope is disoriented for a second, a dull throbbing sensation coming from the spot on her shoulder that she landed on, when she hears the brunette next to her groaning in pain, her hand clutching onto her knee. She immediately gets up and goes over to Josie to check up on her and she notices that the brunette’s eyes are unfocused and her face is twisted in pain. She backs off when some of Josie’s teammates and their athletic trainer run over to find out what’s wrong. Suddenly, she feels someone grabbing her by her jersey and is met with Dana’s dark blue eyes.</p><p>“What the fuck was that, Mikaelson?” she accusingly exclaims. </p><p>Hope narrows her eyes at the blonde as she recognizes what she’s trying to do.</p><p>“Me? <em>You</em> fucking shoved <em>me</em>!” Hope yells back as she digs her finger into Dana’s chest. She wasn’t going to let this bitch make her look bad when everything she’s done the whole game has been clean and textbook defending. </p><p>“I know your angle, Lilien,” she growls as she steps into the blonde’s space, their faces so close that their foreheads are almost touching. </p><p>There is an ounce of fear in Dana’s eyes that Hope doesn’t have the time to bask in because she’s being pushed by the girl in front of her. The movement catches the referee’s attention and he’s hurriedly running over and blowing his whistle as an attempt to prevent things from escalating. Regardless, it almost starts a brawl because some of Hope’s teammates run over to get into Dana’s face to defend her, but as captain, she knows that they can’t afford to commit any other offenses considering that they’re already losing.</p><p>“Hey! It’s not worth it. Let it go,” she scolds them before urging them to walk towards the sideline to hydrate.</p><p>Mystic Falls is awarded a penalty kick for the incident and Hope wants to be surprised, but she isn’t. Dana offers to take it and cleanly shoots it into goal, her teammates celebrating in joy. Dana Lilien is dubbed the “hero of the game” and whenever Hope thinks about it, it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.</p><p>—-</p><p>After carefully thinking about it, Hope decides that Josie needs to learn the truth. The very next day, she finds herself at the hospital receptionist desk asking for the forward’s room number. Hope’s aware that because of their history, Josie may not believe her, but at least she can live with the fact that she got out of this with her conscience completely cleared. It doesn’t take her long to find her room and she gingerly opens the door and steps inside. </p><p>The first thing Hope notices is that Josie’s right leg is wrapped and elevated. The second is that the forward is wide awake and already giving her a stony expression. She doesn’t even have time to greet her and ask how she’s doing when Josie speaks up.</p><p>“You’ve got some nerve showing up here,” she spits out. </p><p>Hope feels her stomach drop to her feet. <em>Yeah</em>, Hope thinks. <em>This is not going to end well</em>.</p><p>“I’m just here to explain what happened,” she calmly says in reply. There’s no use in matching the brunette’s anger especially since she’s already in pain and confined to a hospital bed. </p><p>“What is there to explain? Dana and the team already told me everything.” </p><p>Hope’s jaw clenches at the sound of the blonde’s name. <em>Of course</em>.</p><p>She tries stepping forward, but Josie raises her hand, signaling her to stop. </p><p>“You don’t know the whole story,” Hope reasons, trying to get the brunette to listen to her. </p><p>Josie’s eyes narrow in response and she sits up, using her elbows as support. </p><p>“Oh, I think I do. I don’t trust anything you have to say, so save your breath, and just leave. You’ve done enough,” Josie coldy states. </p><p>“But-” Hope tries once again.</p><p>“LEAVE!” Josie yells as points at the door.</p><p>As much as she didn’t want to, Hope had no choice, so she did. </p><p>No matter how many times she can try to convince Josie, it’s her word against Dana’s. The entirety of Mystic Falls High will undoubtedly believe the blonde over her, so she doesn’t have the power to change how the story’s been written. Her hands were tied and from that day on, everything had changed.</p><p>---</p><p>Josie is fuming by the time Hope ends her story and for once, it’s not because Hope said anything to make her angry—it’s because Josie believes every single word she said. </p><p>Her rage is so blinding that it shakes her to her core and makes her heart beat erratically. She doesn’t think when she abruptly stands up and storms out of the room, Hope quickly following her.</p><p>“Josie! Wait!” she hears the auburn-haired girl desperately yell out. But Josie is absolutely inconsolable as she stomps through the hallway and bangs on the door she was just by thirty minutes ago. </p><p>Luckily for her, Dana’s back from lunch and she opens the door looking annoyed.</p><p>“What the fuck is your pro-” the blonde rebukes before pausing upon seeing a tremendously enraged Josie Saltzman.</p><p>Josie lets herself in without permission, Hope following suit, and Dana is taken aback as she shuts the door.</p><p>“Hey! What the he-?” she complains but quickly shuts up when Josie gets in her face.</p><p>“I know what you did two years ago!” </p><p>Hope grabs Josie by the arm and pulls her back to prevent anything from getting physical. </p><p>Dana raises her eyebrows in surprise before focusing on the auburn-haired girl behind Josie, finally realizing what this was about.</p><p>The blonde girl scoffs and crosses her arms. “Do you really believe Mikaelson, Jo?” she crudely asks, shaking her head in phony disbelief. </p><p>“More than I believe you, you fucking traitor,” Josie spits out as she tries to wriggle her way out of Hope’s grip. The Stanford defender responds by tightening her hold on her. </p><p>“I heard everything you said to Alyssa—how you used my dad against me and manipulated me into hating Hope so I wouldn’t play well.” </p><p>Josie can’t see it, but Hope’s eyes widen in surprise. She had an inkling that Dana said something to Josie that caused such a drastic change in her attitude, but she didn’t expect <em>that</em>. </p><p>For a split second, there is a tinge of panic in Dana’s eyes as she realizes that there is now concrete proof against her. However, it quickly disappears as she appears to have thought of something, that patronizing smirk back on her face. </p><p>“Am I wrong though? Is it not true that your father cares more about her than you?” she says, trying to bring Josie’s dad up again as an attempt to distract her from the truth.</p><p>Hope doesn’t know what the deal is between Josie and her father, but she knows that it’s serious from the way the brunette’s expression instantly darkens. With that, something within her snaps.</p><p>“Oh cut the bullshit, Lilien,” Hope growls out as she pushes the brunette behind her. </p><p>It’s her turn to get into Dana’s face and the sudden change in position is enough to sober Josie up because now, she’s the one trying to pull Hope back. </p><p>When Dana deems that her efforts have proven to be fruitless, she decides that there’s no use in trying to cover her tracks anymore and instead, she relents and reveals everything.</p><p>“You know what? Fine. I shoved Mikaelson in your direction and pinned the blame on her when you ended up getting injured,” she finally admits and Josie’s grip around Hope’s wrist loosens. “But can you blame me? You were being so fucking selfish!”</p><p>“What the hell are you talking about?” Josie asks in exasperated confusion as she releases Hope and takes a step forward.</p><p>Dana rolls her eyes at Josie’s obliviousness.</p><p>“You literally had <em>everything</em>: A call-up to the U-17s, Gatorade Player of the Year, a scholarship to UNC, and all the goal scoring records in school. Hell, you even have the name because your dad used to play pro! Would it have killed you to pass me the fucking ball <em>for once</em>?”

</p><p>Josie can’t help but scoff at how ridiculous that sounded coming from her. “That’s fucking stupid and you know it.” </p><p>Dana’s eyebrows furrow at Josie’s dismissive behavior. “Sue me for getting angry. You had everything, yet you wanted more. I just wanted a goal against our rival that night. I wanted <em>one</em> fucking moment and you couldn’t even give it to me.”</p><p>Josie shakes her head in disgust and makes a move to leave the room, not in the mood to continue the conversation. All she’s hearing are excuses that could <em>never</em> justify her injury. </p><p>“It’s always <em>Josie Saltzman: Mystic Falls High’s star player</em>. Nobody ever recognized the shit I did for the team. I’ve wanted to play for UNC my whole life, but they didn’t even spare me a glance because they were too busy watching <em>you</em>,” Dana bitterly spits out, stopping Josie dead in her tracks. </p><p>She abruptly turns around and once again, gets into the blonde’s face.</p><p>“What? So you injured me so you could take my scholarship?” Josie accuses, her hot breath skimming Dana’s skin. </p><p>Dana doesn’t stand down, her expression as stony as Josie’s. “No, because I never meant to hurt you. I was angry and I shoved Hope because she was in my way,” she explains with a hint of what sounded like remorse. </p><p>For a split second, Josie thinks that her old friend is redeemable. </p><p>“But maybe it did work out that you tore your ACL because I got what I wanted, didn’t I? I’m UNC’s star forward now,” she pompously adds. The shred of remorse is gone and an arrogant smirk takes its place.</p><p><em>No,</em> Josie thinks. <em>She is completely irredeemable</em>. </p><p>“You’re despicable.” Her voice trembles and hot tears start to form in her eyes. </p><p>She can’t believe that someone she used to call her best friend <em>celebrated</em> her injury. She went through hell when her body was trying to heal. She couldn’t do the one thing that made her happy and at one point, she didn’t even think she could come back. Did that not mean anything to Dana? Was she really that heartless? </p><p>Despite the anger that is visible in the way she clenches her jaw and tenses her muscles, Josie's heart is in pieces.</p><p>Hope seems to have sensed the shift in her demeanor because she gently tugs at her wrist. </p><p>“Josie, it’s not worth it. Let’s go,” she softly says, pulling her out the door. </p><p>This time, Josie doesn’t resist. She distantly hears Dana scoff but ignores her.</p><p>Once they get back to their room, Josie’s knees buckle and she expects to fall to the ground, but Hope is there to catch her before she does. </p><p>With that, she breaks.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” she sobs out over and over again, tightly grabbing onto Hope as she cries on her shoulder, undoubtedly ruining her roommate's sweatshirt.</p><p>"It’s okay,” Hope softly murmurs as she rubs soothing circles on her back which only makes her cry even harder.</p><p>Josie isn’t only heartbroken because Dana betrayed her. She’s heartbroken because she has spent the last two years of her life hating the wrong person. A person who Josie realizes is so compassionate that she was willing to be Josie’s punching bag despite knowing that she didn’t deserve it. A person whose heart is so large that she never held a grudge and is readily forgiving her at that moment. And what did she do in return? She repeatedly gave Dana the benefit of the doubt but never thought to give Hope a chance. Instead, she treated her like shit for something she didn’t even do.</p><p>Josie hates Dana with her whole heart, but she hates herself for this, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aight i lied when i said things would get better by this chapter. but hey, the truth's out and it can only go up from here lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello my lovely readers! i have (somehow) survived my last week of classes so here's a new chapter to celebrate me not failing. it's not as angsty as the past few chapters since hope and josie have made up, but i hope y'all enjoy it nonetheless.</p><p>keep leaving comments. i always look forward to reading them!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After several minutes of Josie crying into Hope’s shoulder, the brunette’s sobs finally die down and Hope pulls her up and gets her to sit on the edge of her bed. Hope is handing Josie a water bottle when the latter softly asks a question, her head hung in shame.</p><p>“Do you hate me?”</p><p>Hope’s eyes immediately soften in sympathy upon hearing it. She sits next to her before answering, barely even thinking about it.</p><p>“I never did.”</p><p>Josie turns towards Hope to try and meet her eyes, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. “How? I don’t deserve that.”</p><p>The auburn-haired girl looks down and starts playing with a loose thread on the sleeve of her sweatshirt.</p><p>“I was angry for a bit,” she confesses, her eyes still refusing to meet Josie’s. It makes it seem like she’s ashamed to have just revealed that piece of information, ashamed to have confessed to surrendering herself to such an ill, all-consuming feeling. “I didn’t understand why you couldn’t just listen to me. I didn’t understand how you could hate me for something I didn’t do.”</p><p>“God, I’m gonna <em>kill</em> her,” Josie threatens with gritted teeth and clenched fists, a familiar bitterness settling in her stomach and coating her throat. She’s still fuming at the fact that Dana got away with everything she did virtually unscathed. Josie gave her trust to someone who didn’t deserve it and she feels ashamed that she allowed this trust to easily be manipulated at her, and most importantly, Hope’s expense.</p><p>Hope finally looks at her and rests her hands on Josie’s clenched ones, coaxing them to relax. “It’s not worth redirecting your anger at her. The two years that you’ve held onto that has already done damage and you’re far too good of a person to let that destroy you.”</p><p>As Josie listens to Hope’s comforting words, she looks at their clasped hands and her heart instantly softens at the sight. “I swear, if I could go back and change things, I would,” she assures her, a feeble but genuine thought.</p><p>Josie knows that it’s a meaningless promise considering that the damage has been done, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to scream whenever she thinks about the way she treated Hope. She is angry at Dana for sabotaging her for years, but she is tremendously angry at herself for being so close-minded.</p><p>“Hey,” Hope says, gently touching her knee to try and calm her down. “I forgave you a long time ago. You should too.”</p><p>Josie’s heart skips from both the touch and the words. She can barely comprehend it because it’s so brief that it is quickly overwhelmed by feelings of disdain, mostly towards herself.</p><p>“How?” Josie exclaims, shooting up from her spot on the bed. “I treated you like shit, Hope! I would shut down whenever it came to you. I wouldn’t listen, I’d pick fights, I’d blame you for things that were out of your control. I could barely even give you a chance when Landon started dating you. I was so blinded by anger that I refused to see who you really were. How can you forgive me?”</p><p>Hope gives her a sympathizing frown in return, taking a second to think about her reply.</p><p>“How you’re acting right now is exactly why I forgive you. Were you close-minded? I would say so. But we were both put into a shitty position, weren’t we? Absolutely everything was against us getting along. From the 11 years we’ve known each other, I know that you’re a good person, Josie, and that’s good enough for me,” Hope calmly explains, an earnest look in her eyes that instantly relaxes Josie’s turbulent thoughts. “I saw no remorse in Dana’s eyes when the truth finally came out, but you’ve literally been drowning yourself in it. I forgive you.”</p><p>With that, the contempt that sits in Josie's heart fades and she sits back down and takes a sip from the water bottle that Hope handed her a few moments ago. She still refuses to look her roommate in the eye. </p><p>“It’s not worth being mad about the past. We have the power to change the way things are,” Hope reasons as she tries searching for Josie’s eyes.</p><p>Despite the logic behind Hope’s words, Josie still remains unconvinced. The situation is far too fucked up to be let go and Dana deserves the hatred she projected at Hope for years. She stays silent, finding solace in playing with the cap of her water bottle.</p><p>“What do you say? Clean slate?” Hope inquires as she offers her hand palm side up.</p><p>Upon hearing that, Josie finally looks up and meets Hope’s eyes which are filled with nothing but sincerity. She still couldn’t properly comprehend why Hope is being so compassionate, but she would be lying if she said that she didn’t crave Hope’s forgiveness. She was extremely aware that there was a chance that Hope wouldn’t forgive her. It’s what she deserves after being unable to forgive Hope herself, but hearing those words from her mouth offers a lightness she hasn’t felt in two years and she can’t help but bask in it. Josie concludes that Hope’s just a better person than she is.</p><p>Josie gently grabs the hand in front of her and rests it in the space between them. </p><p>“Clean slate,” she replies with an appreciative smile. Hope beams back and Josie feels like all is right in the world again.</p><p>---</p><p>After the conversation she had with Hope, Josie finds that she feels lighter and much more comfortable being in camp. After the fallout with Dana, Josie obviously stopped associating with her and found herself more dependent on Hope. For dinner that night, Hope invited her to get sushi with her and her friends on the team. Josie didn’t even hesitate when she agreed, a stark contrast to her usual attitude of treading lightly around the Stanford defender.</p><p>Josie finally met Maya who she’s known of for weeks but never had the chance to have an actual conversation with. She’s energetic and a little sarcastic but in a charming way. Josie also learned that she has a brother who plays football for the University of Washington, a fact that provides common ground between them since Lizzie plays volleyball for Cal. </p><p>Another one of Hope’s friends is Jade Montgomery, a sophomore outside back from Penn State. She’s objectively beautiful, with her light eyes and blonde hair, and she didn’t hesitate to flirt with Josie upon first meeting her. It earned her a look of disapproval from Hope, the latter telling her to “stop flirting with anything that moves.” Josie merely laughed at the exchange and blushed at the fact that a pretty girl flirted with her.</p><p>Overall, Josie enjoyed herself that night and she has since stopped feeling like an outsider to a team that she’s worked really hard to get called up for. She knows that this new sense of belonging is largely attributed to her newfound friendship with Hope, which is a fact that she wholeheartedly accepts.</p><p>The next day, the bus takes them back to the field and Coach Vardemus tells everyone to keep their running shoes on, instantly eliciting a collection of groans from the team. Josie sees Hope purse her lips in disapproval and it makes her want to remove herself from the impending situation even more. If Hope, who’s the toughest player she knows, isn’t too happy with what’s about to happen, what makes her think that she will be fine?</p><p>“Try keeping your excitement to yourself, girls,” Vardemus jokes with a small chuckle. He’s definitely enjoying this. “We’re doing fitness testing today and we’re starting with the beep test.”</p><p>The groans become more audible and Josie disdainfully blows air through her nose at the confirmation that they are indeed doing the beep test. She would consider it the Dana Lilien of fitness testing: extremely unlikeable but necessary for the success of the team. Admittedly, Josie used to be good at the beep test, but after her injury, her fitness hasn’t been the same. Upon realizing this, Josie starts feeling small, knowing fully well that she has screwed up at practice yesterday already. She can’t afford to do poorly today either.</p><p>“Fitness is just as important as your technique on the field. You can’t be a good player without both,” Vardemus explains. “Of course, we’ll be more lenient when it comes to the goalkeepers. However, the expectations are high for the defenders and forwards, and even more for the midfielders.”</p><p>Another series of groans are released. This time, mostly from the midfielders. Josie quietly thanks the soccer gods that she chose not to play midfield when she was 10 despite being encouraged by her U-11 coach.</p><p>“We’ll do two rounds. Partner up,” Vardemus finishes. </p><p>The girls scatter and start conversing with each other as they each find their partners.</p><p>Josie gives Hope a hopeful look as a way to silently ask her to be her partner. Despite wiping the slate clean, Josie still feels hesitant to initiate anything, especially when she still feels like Hope is bound to take everything back and decide to hate her for her transgressions from the past 2 years. Josie’s aware that it’s probably irrational, but that doesn’t stop her mind from drifting that way.</p><p>Despite her nagging thoughts, Hope grins at her and nods in response. Josie feels relieved.</p><p>“Do you want to go first, or should I?” the Stanford defender asks her as they walk towards the cones that will act as the starting line.</p><p>“Can you? I need some time to prepare myself,” Josie says, instantly cringing at how stupid that sounded. What kind of athlete says that? “If not, it’s okay! I can also go first,” she immediately adds.</p><p>“You’re fine. I’ll go first,” Hope chuckles, gently touching Josie’s arm to further show that it’s not a problem.</p><p>Josie smiles. “Thanks.”</p><p>The first round of the beep test goes on for a while which is expected from a group of some of the fittest U-20 players in the country. As predicted, the goalkeepers dropped first and later on, some of the defenders and forwards started to gradually do so, too. Hope is still going strong, and unfortunately, so is Dana. </p><p>Josie feels a bitter resentment in her gut whenever she watches the blonde effortlessly run back and forth, so she just chooses to focus on watching Hope for the sake of self-preservation.</p><p>Eventually, the beep test reaches level 13 and the only three people still running are Hope, Dana, and Alexa, a midfielder who plays for Virginia. Dana finally looks like she’s struggling, her running posture increasingly getting poorer and poorer as she tries catching her breath, and Josie can’t help but feel smug at seeing her archenemy suffer.</p><p>Dana keeps looking over at Hope who’s running posture is still impeccable. Overall, the Stanford defender looks fine with the exception of her red cheeks and heavy breathing. It’s obvious that Dana wants to beat her, but the blonde’s body doesn’t quite agree because she gives up in the middle of the level and looks absolutely pissed because of it.</p><p>“Yes! Let’s go, Hope!” Josie cheers out, catching the blonde’s attention who gives her a dirty look as she swipes a water bottle from the bench. Josie just rolls her eyes in response.</p><p>The Stanford defender runs a couple more shuttles before finally deciding to stop.</p><p>“Damn, Mikaelson. Great job,” Josie says as she hands Hope a water bottle. The latter gratefully accepts and takes a large swig of water.</p><p>"Thanks,” Hope says with a grin, still panting as she catches her breath.</p><p>Alexa keeps going until the middle of level 14 and she is instantly praised by everyone, including the coaching staff.</p><p>“Nice job, Spaastra,” Vardemus commends. He then refocuses his attention on the rest of the girls. “Okay, the second round's up. Get on the line!” he yells out. Josie gulps.</p><p>As she settles on the line, Alyssa Chang decides that it’s a good idea to stand next to her, a menacing look in her eyes.</p><p>“Looking forward to seeing you embarrass yourself again, Saltzman,” the UNC midfielder sneers with a mocking smile.</p><p>Josie narrows her eyes at her, her jaw clenching at the unnecessarily hostile comment. She decides that this is the exact motivation she needs to get over the stupid nervous bug in her gut.</p><p>“Speak for yourself.”</p><p>Josie gets through the first 12 levels fairly easily and along with Jade, Maya, and a few other girls, Alyssa does too. The knowledge that the UNC midfielder is still going strong just pushes her harder.</p><p>However, by level 13, Josie is exhausted and she feels it in the way her muscles start cramping and her hair starts sticking to her forehead. It’s only her, Alyssa, and Maya at this point and her body is begging for her to swallow her pride and just tap out.</p><p>She’s made a mental agreement to run one last shuttle when she suddenly hears Hope yell out a slew of words of encouragement.</p><p>“Come on, Saltzman! Keep going!”</p><p>For some reason, the words insert new energy into her veins because she disregards her previous thought and tells herself to run a few more. Not long after, Alyssa drops and Josie mentally gloats at the thought of beating the cocky UNC midfielder. She initially thought that beating Alyssa would stop Hope from cheering her on, but actually, it does quite the opposite.</p><p>“Yes, Josie! See it through!” her roommate yells out as she claps in approval, other girls quickly following her lead and cheering her on.</p><p>By the time Josie and Maya end level 13 together, they are both struggling to keep up. Josie has started sprinting each shuttle so she could spare a few seconds to put her hands on her knees and catch her breath. By the beginning of level 14, Maya struggles to pace herself and doesn’t make it to the line in time for the beep, immediately marking the end of her run. With that, Josie is the last one standing. Almost all of the girls are cheering her on now, but Josie feels like the loudest is Hope who keeps yelling out random words of encouragement. She runs one last shuttle before her body decides that it can’t take anymore.</p><p>When she walks back to the starting line, Hope is already waiting for her, a water bottle in hand. “You totally didn’t need to prepare yourself. You fucking killed it!” the auburn-haired girl praises her with a proud smile.</p><p>Josie gratefully smiles back, knowing fully well how sincere the compliment is now that they’re on good terms.</p><p>Maya walks over to her and gives her a pat on the back. “You rightfully kicked my ass, Saltzman. I want a rematch.”</p><p>Josie gives her a teasing grin. “Thanks Machado. And you’re totally on.”</p><p>Coach Vardemus goes up to her and squeezes her shoulder in approval. “You’ve exceeded my expectations, Saltzman,” he compliments with what Josie thinks is the tiniest bit of a smile.</p><p>She feels two pairs of eyes on her and from the corner of her vision, she notices that Dana and Alyssa are looking at her with disdain, decidedly peeved that she beat both of their beep test scores. Josie feels that even though she failed as a player yesterday, maybe she isn’t so hopeless after all.</p><p>---</p><p>After fitness testing that day, the rest of camp goes decently, but not necessarily the best. Josie’s performance in the beep test became her main source of confidence as she went through practice. Nevertheless, there is an obvious dissonance when Dana gets placed on her team during scrimmages, an ironic contrast to their on-field chemistry in high school. They both know that they’d be risking playing time if they acted petty and ignored each other on the field, but passes that they intended for each other have either been a tad too strong or a little too predictable, the defense easily reading them and breaking the play. It frustrates Josie to no end because it makes her look bad, but she finds comfort in the fact that it makes Dana look bad, too.</p><p>On the other hand, she plays exquisitely when Hope is on her team, the chemistry that was present during the first day of practice brightly shining again. If anything, the fact that she can comfortably call Hope her friend has elevated their harmony even more. Josie brought out the attacking mindset that Hope usually disregards since she has historically been a defensive-minded player. Meanwhile, Hope reads Josie tremendously well. It seems like the Stanford defender is always one step ahead of her, already knowing what the brunette is going to do next. Because of that, they effortlessly create chances for goals whenever they play together.</p><p>As Josie’s chemistry with Hope continues to build on the field, their friendship flourishes off of it. Being Hope’s roommate forces Josie to spend a considerable amount of time with the Stanford player. They involuntarily start eating meals and doing their recovery ice baths together and they even start sitting next to each other on the bus. Initially, Josie chalked it up to convenience, but that changed once she learned that Hope is a bit of a coffee connoisseur, much to the brunette’s approval. After that, they didn’t hang out due to convenience anymore. Rather, they began to choose to. They started scoping out new coffee shops before morning practices and during these early morning adventures, Josie learns that aside from Hope’s affinity for history, she also likes baking, painting with her father, and listening to 80s rock music. Every new thing that Josie learns about Hope replaces a tainted memory from their checkered past and it slowly convinces Josie that maybe she deserves Hope’s forgiveness after all.</p><p>Before they know it, it’s the day of the big game against France. Josie is already dressed in her white game day uniform as she waits for Coach Vardemus to announce the starting eleven, her leg bouncing in anxiousness.</p><p>Apparently, Hope notices, because she places a gentle hand on Josie’s thigh, promptly stopping the latter’s leg from jumping.</p><p>“Calm down, Jo,” Hope says with an amused look in her eye. Her auburn hair is in her usual high ponytail, a blue pre-wrap headband circling her hair to keep flyaways from getting into her face. </p><p>“Sorry. Not knowing who’s starting is killing me,” she murmurs back as she resorts to drumming her fingers on the bench instead.</p><p>Hope nods in agreement. “I know, but don’t drive yourself crazy. Even if you don’t start, it doesn’t mean you won’t play,” she reassures her, pulling her hand back.</p><p>For some reason, Josie misses the warmth Hope’s hand provided. She doesn’t even have time to think about what that might mean because Vardemus suddenly asks for everyone’s attention.</p><p>“Okay, everyone! Here’s the starting eleven,” he says as he flips over a piece of paper and reveals a diagram of the field that is labeled with each player designated to start each position. “In the back, we have Montgomery, Mikaelson,...” he says, listing the names written on the poster. </p><p>Josie is too busy reading through each name that she could barely comprehend what Vardemus is saying, her heart beating loudly in her chest.</p><p>Soon, her eyes fall to the bottom of the page and her heart drops once she reads the two names listed to play forward: Maya Machado and Dana Lilien.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lol don't be mad at me. i did it this way for a reason. stay tuned for the big game against france + post-camp hosie!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had major writer's block and wanted to see if getting tipsy would get my creative juices flowing (forgive me, i just turned 21)...and i think it helped because i finished the chapter? enjoy lol it's getting chaotic here in quarantine</p><p>i'm looking forward to seeing what y'all think in the comments!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As she watches the game progress from the bench, Josie knows that getting left out of the starting line-up isn’t personal. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop her from feeling discontented and frankly, a little bitter, especially when she remembers Dana’s smug look and puffed chest after Vardemus first announced the starting eleven. </p><p>The second-half has just started and Josie expected, albeit a little too optimistically, that Vardemus was going to make some substitutions during half-time, only for her to be proven wrong. Vardemus made none, believing that the current line-up fits his strategy the most. It makes sense, but Josie still deflates upon hearing it. </p><p>Unsurprisingly, the game’s still deadlocked at 0-0. France is notorious for being built on a strong soccer culture and as a result, they produce world-class soccer programs. Their youth teams are no exception. Vardemus appears to be implementing a defensive strategy, relying mostly on Hope and the backline, instead of committing too many numbers on the offense, to deal with France’s highly technical style-of-play. It’s effective, but it doesn’t produce goals and from the bench, Josie’s starting to get frustrated. From the looks of it, Dana is too.</p><p>The UNC forward is already treading in dangerous waters because of several minor scuffles during the first half. But then, Alyssa Chang attempts to set a goal up by passing a through ball to Dana. The blonde is easily blocked by a French defender, the latter using her body to keep her from receiving the pass. Unfortunately for the French player, it pisses a goal-less Dana off.</p><p>The blonde shoves the French defender off of her in frustration, the latter falling to the ground and dramatically clutching the spot on her arm that she landed on. Josie knows that she’s faking it, the French player aware that Dana’s already on the referee’s radar, but regardless, it catches the referee’s eye who unhesitatingly blows his whistle.</p><p>Dana also suspects the same thing Josie does because her short temper expectedly causes her to argue with the referee, angrily trying to explain her case. The exchange starts looking hostile because Hope, who’s captaining the game, runs all the way from the backline to pull Dana away from the referee. Hope tries to mediate by calmly talking to him, likely as an attempt to repair whatever Dana broke, but it’s proven fruitless when the referee shakes his head in disapproval and pulls out a yellow card. Josie rolls her eyes because <em>of course</em>. </p><p>The action angers Dana even more because she’s about to march up to the referee and say her piece when Hope steps in front of her and holds her hand up to her chest, seemingly telling her to calm down. Knowing their history, Dana looks like she’s about to start arguing with her own damn teammate when Alyssa pulls her away. Hope narrows her eyes and shakes her head before running back to the defense.</p><p>France is in the middle of restarting the game when Vardemus, looking peeved, stands up from his spot on the bench and walks up to Josie.</p><p>“You’re playing in 10 minutes. Start warming up,” he says before writing something down on his clipboard. </p><p>Josie’s stomach flips at his words, immediately standing up to start her stretches. Is she dreaming? Is she really about to play for her country again?</p><p>After a few dynamic stretches and light jogs up and down the USA's side of the field, Josie stands by the sideline next to the referee responsible for holding up the substitution board. Her jersey number, 11, glows green, while Dana’s number 9 is red. Dana doesn’t seem to expect it because it takes her a while to even notice that she’s the one being taken out. When she finally does, her expression is stony, not even bothering to give Josie the typical, but not required, two-handed high five when she steps off the field.</p><p>“Good luck scoring in that,” she sarcastically says, probably referring to the unfavorable conditions that they’re playing in. </p><p>Josie ignores her, refusing to let the blonde throw her off of her game again, before running onto the field and receiving a high five and friendly smile from Maya. </p><p>Josie starts a little shaky, easily losing possession the first couple of times she receives the ball. It’s mainly the nerves because the longer she plays, the more comfortable she gets. She notices that once she’s stepped on the field, her team’s gradually been creating more chances and relying less on the defense.</p><p>Josie notices that her and Maya work seamlessly together, Josie’s playmaking ability complementing Maya’s speed. Additionally, Hope, who’s always been good at reading her, has started pushing up more and serving long balls from the back.</p><p>At the 85th minute, Hope dispossesses a French forward and leaves her usual post as central defender, letting Jade fall back and cover for her. She runs up the midfield and passes to Alexa who holds onto the ball before seeing Hope continue her run up the side. Josie watches the Virginia midfielder give it back to her and upon realizing what Hope is trying to do, she immediately runs into the goal box, a French defender unfailingly hot on her heels. She watches Hope try to dribble around France’s outside back before turning her body and crossing the ball into the box, the momentum causing her to lose her balance and fall. </p><p>Josie watches the ball soar up the air as she jumps as high as she can, the French defender that’s been marking her, jumping with her. As the ball touches her forehead, she turns her body towards the goal to try and control the ball’s direction. She doesn’t know if it even goes in because her body twists the opposite way of the goal as she falls to the ground, but when a series of deafening cheers floods her ear drums, she knows that it did. </p><p>She’s barely even standing up when a body jumps onto her. She instinctively wraps her arms around the person’s waist to keep her from falling to the ground when auburn colored hair and a scent of citrus and vanilla invade her senses.</p><p>“Tell me you didn’t just do that!” Hope exclaims in disbelief, tightly holding onto Josie’s neck. </p><p>Josie is still speechless because she laughs hysterically in return.</p><p>Hope soon lets go of her and Josie doesn’t have time to miss the feeling of the defender tightly holding onto her because a flock of their teammates start joining in on the hug. Even Alyssa Chang, who’s been on Dana’s side since the beginning of camp, is incredibly ecstatic, screaming in absolute glee. </p><p>Josie looks in the direction of the bench to gauge the rest of the team and staff’s reactions. Vardemus is pumping his fists in celebration and Dana is clapping her hands and despite the jealousy coloring her face, Josie notices that there’s a little bit of something else there. She likes to think that in some twisted way, Dana’s also impressed and that’s enough to bring a proud smirk on her face.</p><p>They finish the game up and end up winning 1-0 thanks to Josie’s lone goal.</p><p>---</p><p>The next morning, Josie’s incredibly hungover from the night before. To celebrate the win, most of the team decided to go out to a club and reward themselves for a successful iteration of camp. Having scored the winning goal, everybody kept offering Josie shots during pregame and because she was still riding the high from the game, she took them without thinking twice.</p><p>She got to the club already incredibly drunk and by the end of the night, she was stumbling and slurring her words. Hope, being the responsible person she always is, kept her drinking to a minimum and brought Josie up to their room, helped her change into clean clothes, and made her drink an entire bottle of water. Josie doesn’t remember that part of the night, but she doesn’t doubt that it happened. </p><p>Hope’s still teasing her about their escapades from last night when they’re walking out of their gate after landing into San Francisco International Airport.</p><p>“You were plastered, Jo,” Hope snickers. </p><p>“God, don’t remind me,” Josie groans. “Please tell me I didn’t do anything dumb.”</p><p>Hope pauses, supposedly to think back to last night's events. “Hmmm,” she hums.</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Josie prods. “Just tell me. I’ve probably done worse.”</p><p>Josie rolls her eyes albeit smiling at their banter. She can’t help but think about where her and Hope stood before camp and where they are now, and it makes her really happy to see that they grew closer from this experience even if it was because of a pretty fucked up reason. A friendship with Hope is a silver lining she didn’t expect, but wholeheartedly accepts anyway. </p><p>Hope taps her finger on her chin, still pretending to think. </p><p>“Aside from the fact that you made out with Jade? No,” she finally reveals with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.</p><p>“<em>What</em>?” Josie gasps at the revelation, her eyes widening. “Please tell me you’re joking.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Hope says, softly chuckling. “If you want, I can call her for confirmation,” she offers as she moves to grab her phone out of her pocket.</p><p>“Oh no, you’re absolutely <em>not</em> going to be doing that,” Josie frantically says as she grabs onto Hope’s arm to stop her. “<em>God</em>, why do I keep doing shit like this when I drink?” she absentmindedly groans as she covers her face with her hand. </p><p>Hope’s eyes widen. “You’re telling me this <em>isn’t</em> the first time you’ve done something like this?” she incredulously asks with an unreadable expression on her face.</p><p>Josie profusely blushes. </p><p>“I may or may not have drunkenly made out with Rafael at a party at the beginning of the year,” she reveals, internally cringing at the memory. “It also might be why Penelope and I started hooking up.”</p><p>Hope looks like a fish out of water, but she doesn’t get a chance to reply because Josie diverts her attention from their conversation when she hears a collective “Surprise!” ahead of them.</p><p>Her heart warms upon seeing Lizzie, Landon, MG, Rafael, and Penelope waiting for them by the arrivals door. Lizzie’s holding up a sign that is unapologetically red, white, and blue, displaying the words “<em>Congrats on the golazo, Jojo!</em>” while Landon holds up a similarly themed sign that says “<em>And amazing assist, Hope!</em>”</p><p>Josie beams at her friends, unhesitatingly running up to them and giving everyone a bone-crushing hug. </p><p>Hope amusedly chuckles at their shameless display of American pride as she inserts herself in Landon’s outstretched arms and returns the kiss that her boyfriend initiates.</p><p>When Josie sees the subtle display of affection, she reflexively looks away. She’s confused as to why she even reacted that way in the first place, but figures that seeing PDA just makes her uncomfortable.</p><p>Once Josie gets to hugging Penelope in appreciation, the brunette kisses her on the cheek and Josie feels herself redden at the gesture.</p><p>“I watched the game, Jojo and I gotta say, you’re hotter than usual when you’re at the top of your game,” compliments with a teasing smirk and a familiar twinkle in her eye. </p><p>Josie raises her eyebrows at her, mostly amused and unsurprised at the comment. She decides to ignore the way her body heats up from the unrelenting lustful look that her teammate is giving her, seeing as reuniting with her friends at the airport is not the time nor the place for such ungodly thoughts. Though, she will fully admit that she certainly <em>missed</em> Penelope. </p><p>“Is everyone up for brunch to celebrate?” Lizzie asks the group. “I could use a mimosa.”</p><p>Josie’s stomach grumbles as she feels her throat coat with bile upon hearing the mention of alcohol. She’s about to passionately object the involvement of <em>any</em> alcohol in her early morning diet when Hope seems to be one step ahead of her.

</p><p>“I’m totally down! I’m sure Josie would be fine with it, but she could probably do without the alcohol. She had a little too much fun celebrating last night.”</p><p>The comment earns a hearty chuckle from everyone in the group and Josie feels her cheeks turn crimson at the unwanted attention.</p><p>Landon instantly notices the shift in the dynamic between them because he doesn’t hesitate to pull Josie aside to point it out.</p><p>“<em>Josie</em>, huh? Last time you were both in the same room, you guys were strictly on a last name basis,” Landon says with a teasing smile.</p><p>Josie doesn’t even realize that this change even occurred. It just didn’t seem right to call Hope by her last name anymore. Not when Josie considers her a good friend now.</p><p>“Things change, Lan. I’ll tell you over brunch,” Josie simply says with an easy smile, feeling lighter than she has been in a while.</p><p>---</p><p>The group decides to eat at the Berkeley Social Club, a popular brunch place in downtown Berkeley. Josie supposes that Hope wants to spend more time with Landon which is why she agreed to come all the way to Berkeley and not to a restaurant that’s understandably in the middle of the two universities. For some reason, Josie doesn’t know how she feels about that, so she just neglects to think about it, seeing that it’s none of her business.</p><p>“So Jo, are you gonna tell us how you and Hope suddenly became best friends in a span of a week?” Lizzie asks as she takes a sip of her mimosa. </p><p>Lizzie’s skepticism makes sense since she’s seen Josie at the lowest point of her life as she tried to recover from her injury. In her mind, Hope’s still very much at fault.</p><p>Josie chuckles at the question, happily telling the group the whole story starting with Hope giving her a tour of Chicago and ending with finding out the truth about Dana. The group is shocked and angry once she finishes, Lizzie even going as far as threatening to “hurt her worse than she hurt you, Jo” (her words) but Josie is quick to defuse their anger by telling them that she doesn’t want to steep in negative emotions and is trying to move on. She peeks a look at Hope upon saying that, and the latter looks proud of her for it.</p><p>Everybody else is participating in their own conversations when Lizzie decides to privately bring something to Josie’s attention.</p><p>“Hey, Jo?” her sister asks as she plays with her eggs benedict.</p><p>“Hmm?” Josie absentmindedly hums, tapping her fingers on the wood of the table. She doesn’t know why, but she’s watching Hope carelessly laughing at something Landon said.</p><p>“Um, dad came to campus a few days ago,” she continues, instantly sobering Josie up and garnering her attention.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” she hisses out as she abruptly turns her head towards Lizzie, her mood instantly souring.</p><p>Lizzie slightly flinches at the negative reaction. “I know,” she sighs. “He was waiting for me after I got out of practice and asked if we could have lunch and talk.” </p><p>Josie narrows her eyes. “Well, <em>did you<em>?” she asks with a subtle bite.</em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>“Don’t be mad at me,” her sister pleads, guilt coloring her eyes. </p><p>
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</p><p>Josie throws her hands up in frustration. “Of course,” she scoffs, shaking her head in disapproval.</p><p>
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</p><p>Lizzie ignores the accusing tone in her voice and continues. “I had to, Jo. He seemed desperate,” she reasons. “He knows you were at camp because...you know,” she tapers her thought, not wanting to mention the obvious, but the effort is futile. Josie’s aware that he knows because of Hope. “He’s been asking about you.”</p><p>
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</p><p>Josie merely scrunches her eyebrows in disdain, restraining herself from saying anything that could start a fight and ruin this supposedly good afternoon for everyone. </p><p>
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</p><p>“You should talk to him,” she finishes, instantly triggering vehement refusal from Josie.</p><p>
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</p><p>“<em>No</em>.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“But Jo-”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Lizzie, I said no. Now, can we stop talking about this here before it ruins my afternoon? I’m already hungover. I don’t wanna deal with <em>this</em> on top of that,” Josie insists with an air of finality. </p><p>It seems to have worked since Lizzie chooses not to press further.</p><p>
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</p><p>“What’s everyone’s plans for the rest of the day? Anyone trying to hang?” MG asks the group, thankfully breaking the tension between the twins.</p><p>
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</p><p>“I’ll hang with you, bro. Lan wants the apartment to himself,” Rafael says as he wiggles his eyebrows, earning knowing looks from the rest of the group. </p><p>Josie doesn’t know why but she doesn’t like how her stomach turns upon hearing Raf’s crude comment.</p><p>
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</p><p>“It’s not even like that, Raf. I just wanted to have a Harry Potter marathon with Hope,” he says to defend himself, earning a chuckle from the auburn-haired girl next to him. </p><p>Knowing how Landon is and how that’s definitely what he means, Josie releases the breath she didn’t even realize she’s been holding.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Okay, cool! Anyone else wanna join us?” MG asks. </p><p>
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</p><p>Without even thinking, Josie speaks up. “Penelope and I are probably gonna be doing our own thing.”</p><p>
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</p><p>The brunette turns towards her, looking confused. “We are?” she whispers to her in question.</p><p>
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</p><p>Josie ignores her, subtly fixing her attention on Hope who’s now frowning upon hearing her plans. Josie doesn’t have an explanation as to why she feels satisfied after seeing the Stanford defender’s reaction.</p><p>
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</p><p>After brunch, everybody splits off into their own groups, Lizzie ultimately agreeing to study with Raf and MG at a coffee shop on the south side of campus. </p><p>
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</p><p>Josie doesn’t hesitate to pull Penelope into her dorm room. The brunette is barely shutting the door when Josie pushes her against it and roughly kisses her, her hands quickly finding Penelope’s waist. </p><p>
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</p><p>Penelope pulls away from their lip lock, Josie’s eyes still closed as she instinctively chases after the brunette’s lips after sensing the lost contact. </p><p>“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s gotten into you, Jo?” Her tone isn’t accusatory, just curious.</p><p>
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</p><p>“It’s been a week, Pen.” Josie simply says. Penelope shrugs her shoulders and leans back in, accepting the explanation.</p><p>
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</p><p>Unbeknownst to Penelope, Josie’s trying to forget not only her father, but also a certain auburn-haired girl who she has unknowingly allowed to occupy her thoughts.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the hosie ship is starting to sail ;)</p><p>definitions:</p><p>centerback: hope's position in the story. also referred to as a central defender. it acts as the backbone of the defense and is basically the position that cleans up the messes. being a good central defender requires for you to be consistent, decisive, and not afraid to step up which i thought fit hope's personality the best. </p><p>yellow card: basically acts as a warning when a player is committing too many offenses in the game. if you don't shape up and get two yellow cards, this would equate to a red card and you'd be ejected from the game which forces your team to play with only 10 players.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! another update coming your way. y'all wanted hope and josie to hang more so your wish is my command. </p><p>also to address some concerns i've gotten in the comments: no one will be cheating in this story. i don't condone it whether that be in real life or in my made up world, but i want to address the nuances of having (and repressing) feelings for someone who is in a relationship with your best friend and i'm trying to capture that as organically as i can. you'll be seeing some of these nuances in this chapter.</p><p>with that said, i hope you guys enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After returning from camp, Josie was immediately swept away by her college soccer duties. She missed their final regular season game against Washington State while she was in Chicago, a game in which her team broke their winning streak by tying 1-1, but it was enough to get them into the playoffs for the first time in 7 years. Penelope mentioned that there was a joke going around that they tied because Josie wasn’t there to elevate their offense, a fact that the forward easily brushed off. She didn’t want to be presumptuous, but she was also flattered that her Cal family valued her just as much as she valued them.</p><p>Playing for her country is one thing, but after finding out the truth behind her scholarship to play for UNC, Josie is more at peace with playing for Berkeley, thinking that maybe it’s where she was always supposed to end up anyway. Besides, if she ended up at UNC, she wouldn’t have the advantage of playing for the same school as her sister, receiving mentorship from Coach Williams, meeting Landon, Penelope, MG, and Rafael, and most importantly, reconnecting with Hope who has slowly but surely become a significant part of her life.</p><p>Josie doesn’t realize how much of an impact Hope has made on her just from their week-long stint at camp until they both went back to their college team obligations and barely had time to interact with each other in person. Despite that, Josie found herself texting Hope whenever she encountered something that reminded her of the Stanford player. </p><p>There was one instance in which Josie had a 2 hour long break between classes which she decided to spend by catching up on work she’s missed from the past week at her favorite coffee shop on the north side of campus. She ordered her usual, a Thai iced coffee with a splash of half-and-half, and instinctively decided to send Hope a picture of her beloved drink.</p><p><em><strong>10:43 AM </strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: [Image attached] this beats any of the drinks we tried in chicago.</p><p><em><strong>10:45 AM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: oh yeah? i’ll be the judge of that.</p><p><em><strong>10:51 AM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: i swear, it’s a godsend. if you’re ever on campus, i’ll take you.</p><p><em><strong>10:54 AM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: i’ll hold you to it :)</p><p>Their interactions on text were pretty much like that in nature: short and sweet, but also sporadic and thoughtful. Josie always looked forward to them, feeling an inexplicable ease whenever she talked to Hope even if it was about something as simple as coffee. </p><p>On a random Friday afternoon, Josie decides to put in an extra training session to prepare herself for playoffs which were set to begin the following week. Her dorm is fairly close to a turf field that she likes to use whenever the official soccer stadium is being used by the men’s team or if she simply didn’t feel like going to the other side of campus to train. </p><p>When she gets to the field, there aren’t many people there, considering it’s a Friday afternoon and everybody’s either in class or starting the weekend’s festivities early. She was lucky enough not to have any classes on Fridays which is why it was the perfect time for her to go out and get some practice in. </p><p>She starts her training session by doing a few dynamic stretches and lightly jogging the perimeter of the field to warm herself up. She then sets up a few cones and does numerous dribbling drills to improve her ball control, knowing that it’s always been a point of improvement for her. Afterwards, she decides to take a few practice shots at the goal to better her finishing. </p><p>She’s setting a ball up outside of the goal box when she unexpectedly hears someone call something out to her.</p><p>“Your form could use some work!” </p><p>Josie flinches in surprise, not expecting for anyone to interact with her. The only other person who’s willing to train with her outside of practice is Penelope and Josie knows that she’s currently in her political economy lecture. She turns around in the direction of where the sound is coming from and is met with Hope’s ocean blue eyes and easy smile.</p><p>“Hope?” Josie asks with a crooked smile, holding her hand up to her forehead and squinting her eyes to guard her vision against the blinding sun. “What are you doing here?” she asks in confusion as she starts walking over to Hope with the ball.</p><p>The Stanford defender sets her duffel bag down and starts putting on her cleats before she answers. “I don’t have any Friday classes so Landon wanted me to come and spend the weekend before playoffs start next week. Of course, I couldn’t do without a weekend of training so I brought my gear to get some time in. Guess we were thinking the same thing, huh?” </p><p>“Asshole! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she asks in disbelief, playfully punching Hope in the arm.</p><p>Hope laughs in response, shaking her head. “I wanted to surprise you, duh,” the Stanford defender says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. </p><p>Josie ignores the way her stomach flips upon hearing that.</p><p>“Where’s Lan?” Josie asks, quickly changing the subject. She casually plays with the ball at her feet to ease her restlessness. </p><p>Hope finishes lacing her cleats and stands up. “Got here a bit too early and didn’t realize he has class until 4. It works out though! I didn’t know I was going to run into you here.” </p><p>“Yeah, guess so,” Josie distractedly replies. She doesn’t realize just how distracted she is until Hope is surging forward and stealing the ball from her feet.</p><p>“Gotcha!” the Stanford defender yells out as she sprints with the ball towards the goal. </p><p>Josie is instantly grounded to reality by the sudden movement and wastes no time to chase after the girl. She’s too late because as she closes the distance between them, Hope is shooting the ball at the goal, easily making it into the open net.</p><p>“Damn, you’d make a shitty defender,” Hope snickers, earning a huge eye roll from Josie.</p><p>“Oh yeah? You won’t be able to survive as a forward,” Josie fires back after grabbing the ball from inside the goal. </p><p>Hope places her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised at the challenge. “1v1 me then. I’ll play forward, you’ll play defense. Let’s settle this once and for all.” </p><p>Josie doesn’t hesitate to accept the challenge, her competitive streak refusing to turn it down. “Bring it on.”</p><p>Hope takes the ball and places it a few yards outside the goal box while Josie stands with her back against the goal, ready to keep Hope from scoring on her. </p><p>The Stanford player is looking down at the ball, refusing to look up at Josie who was planning on playing mind tricks on her to throw her off her game. Hope lightly taps the ball forward and Josie starts scrambling backwards, her focus fixed on both the ball and Hope’s red and white cleats to anticipate the latter’s next move. Right when Josie feels ready to commit to a tackle and steps forward, Hope fakes left and pushes the ball to the right, rightfully throwing the brunette off. Before she even realizes what’s happened, Hope is sprinting after the ball and Josie quickly turns around and runs after her. Because of the pressure of Josie hot on her heels, Hope fails to look up at the goal and impulsively shoots, going off target and missing the net. </p><p>The Stanford defender raises her arms and places her hands behind her head in disbelief, her mouth agape at the missed chance. Josie is clutching her stomach, laughing hysterically at how poorly that went.</p><p>“Damn, I guess we both suck at doing each other’s jobs,” Josie gasps out, unable to calm her laughter.</p><p>Hope glares at her, still disappointed by her botched attempt at scoring a goal. </p><p>“Oh, come on! It’s okay that you missed that. Did you not see me get duped by your little move back there? I’m so embarrassed,” Josie says to try and soften her up, remnants of laughter still present in her speech.</p><p>Hope finally cracks a smile and starts laughing with her, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess that’s payback for what you did to me at our rivalry game two months ago,” she teases with a devilish smirk.</p><p>Josie jaw drops at the mention of that moment from what felt like years ago. She couldn’t help but reflect on how different their relationship was back then. Who would’ve thought she’d be having this much fun with Hope right now? </p><p>“Well on that note, we’re doing another round and we’re playing as our rightful positions this time,” Josie challenges once again.</p><p>“It’s on, Saltzman.”</p><p>After several rounds of 1v1s, Josie and Hope are spent. Because they’re both so good at playing their natural positions, each round was a challenge in itself. It was hard for Josie to shake Hope off of her, the Stanford defender always ready to cover any angle she took. On the other hand, Josie’s footwork and quick thinking could penetrate Hope’s consistent defending. Josie’s finishing was even more lethal when Hope faltered in her step even just a smidge. It was an impeccable match-up, and it was refreshing for Josie to play against someone that challenges her and consequently makes her a better forward at the end of the day. She didn’t expect this training session to be so rewarding, but she’s thankful that she and Hope coincidentally crossed paths and spent it together.</p><p>They’re passing each other the ball to cool down when the conversation takes a turn that Josie doesn’t intend it to.</p><p>“So, how are you and Lan?” Josie politely asks, passing the ball to Hope using the outside of her foot. She doesn’t quite understand why, but she feels obligated to know. </p><p>Hope bites her lip, trapping the ball with the inside of her foot and passing it back before answering. “We’re...good. I’ve been kind of busy preparing for playoffs and also catching up on work from the week I was gone, so we haven’t been spending that much time together,” she says, seemingly finishing her thought. “But we’re okay now,” she hastily adds last minute.</p><p>Josie doesn’t know if she’s reading too much into it, but Hope sounds a bit too unconvinced. </p><p>“You don’t sound too sure,” she comments without thinking. She wants to punch herself for not controlling herself. She passes the ball back. </p><p>Hope seems taken aback by the observation, not expecting Josie to catch onto her tone. </p><p>“I-I don’t know if I should be telling you this, of all people. You’re his best friend,” she hesitantly replies before passing the ball again.</p><p>Josie traps the ball underneath the studs of her cleat and tilts her head in question. “Hope?” she asks with concern. “Are you okay?” </p><p>Hope sighs, walking over to the bench to grab her water bottle. Josie quickly follows suit, wanting to find out what’s bugging her friend. </p><p>Hope bites her lip again, a conflicted look on her face. </p><p>“You can trust me, you know. Yeah, Landon’s my best friend, but I also care about you,” Josie says like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s true. She does care about Hope. </p><p>Josie takes a seat on the bench and pats the spot next to her, urging Hope to do the same. The Stanford defender squeezes some water into her mouth and wipes the excess off with the back of her hand before relenting.</p><p>“I just feel like something’s missing,” Hope sighs out as she settles in her seat. “I like him. He’s the first person who’s treated me right in a relationship and we have a lot of fun together.” </p><p>“But?” </p><p>“But he’s safe,” Hope replies without hesitating. It’s like she’s thought about this for a while. </p><p>Josie knits her eyebrows in confusion. “Isn’t that a good thing?”</p><p>“I mean, yeah?” Hope confirms, but obviously unsure if she even believes that. “It’s just that when I was 15, my mom told me that I’d have one totally epic love in my life. You know, like the ones you see in the movies.”</p><p>Josie smiles. Her own mother has told her something similar. </p><p>“Since then, I’ve been trying to imagine what it would be like to have that person in my life. From my mom’s stories, it seems like it would feel so intense that I can’t breathe, that this person would invade all of my thoughts and take over all of my senses, that they would make such a lasting impression on me that I’d never be the same,” Hope continues with a wistful expression, suddenly staring right into Josie’s chocolate brown eyes. Josie feels like she’s on fire under Hope’s intense gaze. “I-I just don’t know if that’s Landon for me,” Hope finishes, quickly looking away. Josie feels the heat that danced on her skin fade away.</p><p>Josie is at a loss for words, unable to come up with a coherent thought that would silence a certain nagging thought in her mind. She refuses to entertain it because she wants to do right by Landon <em>and</em> Hope, two people she deeply cares for. </p><p>Apparently, she’s silent for too long because Hope notices. “Jo? Say something.”</p><p>“I-I, um,” she stutters, frantically searching for the right words to say without compromising anything. “Maybe it’s too early for you to say that. You’ve only been dating for 2 months, right? I think it’s worth it for you to give him a chance. He’s the best guy I know,” Josie finally says, ignoring the way her stomach churns when the words leave her mouth. </p><p>Hope mulls over her words. It lasts a split second so she almost misses it, but Josie notices that Hope’s face slightly drops upon hearing her advice. She tries not to read into what it could mean, chalking it up as a twitch. </p><p>“You’re right. It’s worth it to see where it goes,” Hope concludes, a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes adorning her face.</p><p>“Yeah,” Josie agrees with a smile just as weak.</p><p>---</p><p>By the third week of November, they’re well into playoffs for the College Cup and Josie’s life only consists of eating, sleeping, and breathing soccer. Cal enters the tournament as a number 2 seed because of how well they did during the regular season, so they were fortunate enough to play against lower ranked teams during the first few rounds. They easily beat Lamar University 4-1 and Clemson 5-0, Josie scoring a hat trick during the latter game. Their game against Wisconsin posed a bigger challenge since they were a number 3 seed. It wasn’t pretty, but they were able to get away with a 2-0 win. </p><p>On the other hand, Hope and the Stanford Cardinals were doing just as well. They entered the tournament as a number 1 seed, having topped the PAC-12 conference during the regular season. They flew by the competition more easily than Cal did, beating their first round opponent with a whopping final score of 15-0. They scored so many goals that Hope, who barely scores goals as a defender, managed to sneak one in. Of course, Josie made sure to write Hope a congratulatory text message for it.</p><p><em><strong>7:37 PM </strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: i'm going to ignore the fact that you guys just destroyed them for the sake of self-preservation, but wow congrats on the goal! guess you did learn something during your brief stint as a forward last week ;)</p><p><em><strong>7:45 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: lol shut up</p><p><em><strong>7:46 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: but thanks, jo. means a lot :)</p><p>Luckily for them, teams that are still in the tournament get a few days off to celebrate Thanksgiving. Of course, Josie takes advantage of the well-needed break and flies back to Mystic Falls with Lizzie to spend the holiday with their mother and her boyfriend, Stefan. Meanwhile, MG goes back to Chicago, Penelope flies east to her home in New York, Landon and Raf drive down to Palo Alto, and Hope goes home to New Orleans.</p><p>Ultimately, Josie is happy to be home. It’s her first time coming back to Mystic Falls since she left for pre-season training in June, and she would never admit it out loud to her mother, but she was considerably homesick during the first few weeks that she was at Cal. She missed her mom’s cooking and the knowledge that she was in the room right next to hers whenever she needed her. She’s been relying on only one parent since she was 10 so naturally, her relationship with her mom was as strong as ever and living without her proved to be a substantial adjustment. Lizzie would surely say the same considering that she’s looked up to their mother for years and has been her volleyball role model since she could walk. </p><p>Like they have been in past Thanksgivings, Josie and Lizzie help their mom prepare dinner. Josie usually takes charge of the sides since it’s her favorite part of dinner, claiming that the only person she trusts not to mess them up is herself. Lizzie handles desserts, her sister having a huge sweet tooth, a fact that would probably cause her volleyball coach to roll in her grave, and of course, Stefan and her mom handle the turkey.</p><p>Josie would say that she’s on top of the world at the moment. She’s spending her favorite holiday with the people she loves and she’s living her life with the knowledge that her team is doing well in one of the biggest tournaments of her life to date. She can’t remember the last time she was this happy considering she went through the lowest point in her life just two years ago, but she doesn’t question it.</p><p>Josie’s helping Lizzie set the table and Stefan’s in the kitchen transferring all the food to serving dishes when the doorbell rings. Josie barely notices it because she’s too engrossed with the task at hand, but her mom goes ahead and answers the door. </p><p>When Caroline comes back into the dining room, Josie looks up and instantly notices considerable worry etched in her face. “Mom?”</p><p>“We have an unexpected guest,” she replies, motioning behind her.</p><p>Still confused, Josie tilts her head and knits her eyebrows. However, once this guest steps into the room, her stomach drops.</p><p>“Hi sweetie,” her dad greets, a nervous smile on his face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>stay tuned for a fun little thanksgiving dinner lolol</p><p>definitions:</p><p>1v1: a head-to-head match-up between two people. one person is trying to score while the other is preventing the other from scoring. </p><p>number __ seed: a preliminary ranking for a team based on their performance in the regular season. it's mainly used to determine who will play who in the tournament. lower seeded teams play higher seeded teams in the first few rounds and as the season progresses, highly seeded teams end up playing each other in the later stages of the tournament. </p><p>hat trick: scoring 3 goals in one game</p><p>another note: i'm using actual scores and actual schools from the 2019 division 1 women's soccer playoffs as reference just so things are accurate and realistic so yes, stanford really did beat a team 15-0.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not to be sentimental, but i never expected so many people to enjoy this fic. i'm an engineering major who just so happens to like writing in her free time so i didn't feel like any of my work is particularly interesting but i was so pleasantly surprised by my loyal readers and the kind comments i have received. they definitely motivate me to keep updating and further develop this story between hope and josie. i appreciate y'all a lot!</p><p>with that, here is chapter 10. it's probably one of my favorite chapters that i've written and i hope you all like reading it as much as i liked writing it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie’s stomach churns upon seeing her father, the feeling of bile creeping up her throat, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She wants to throw up.</p><p>Without warning, Josie storms into the kitchen, not knowing what to say to the stranger in the dining room, and frankly, not wanting to deal with him either. </p><p>Stefan is on his way out with a dish in each hand when Josie promptly enters with her jaw clenched and shoulders tense, immediately catching him off guard.</p><p>“Whoa there, Josie. Are you okay?” he asks in concern, sensing her obvious discomfort.</p><p>She doesn’t get to reply because her mother suddenly appears a second later. </p><p>“Let us have the kitchen, honey. Alaric’s in the dining room,” Caroline explains to Stefan, a wave of understanding instantly crossing his face before he leaves.</p><p>Josie is clutching the granite of the countertop and trying to control her breathing and more importantly, her anger, when her mom rushes to her side and starts rubbing soothing circles on her back.</p><p>“What the hell is he doing here, mom?” she hisses, her eyebrows knitted in fresh and pronounced anger. </p><p>“I don’t know, sweetie. I’ve invited him to past Thanksgiving dinners but stopped when it became obvious that he wouldn’t show up.” Caroline sighs. “Do you want me to kick him out?” </p><p>Josie shakes her head, instantly causing her mother to raise her eyebrows in surprise. “He’s obviously not going to stop trying to reach out. He’s been trying to call me and he went on campus and had lunch with Lizzie a few weeks ago.”</p><p>“What do you want to do, Jo?” her mother worriedly asks.</p><p>Josie bites her lip as she weighs her options. “I’ll listen to whatever he has to say and maybe, he’ll finally stay out of our lives once he gets it off his chest.”</p><p>Caroline mulls over Josie’s words before eventually nodding in agreement. “I think that’s a good idea.” </p><p>Josie supposes that her mother also wants to unpack a couple of things from her end. Their marriage did fail after all.</p><p>“It’s about time the past is coming back to haunt us, right?” Josie bitterly laughs out despite the fact that nothing about the situation was funny.</p><p>After several minutes of trying to calm herself down so she doesn’t say anything that would start a fight from the get-go, Josie and Caroline finally step back into the dining room where Lizzie and her father are sitting next to each other and are engaged in light, meaningless conversation. Meanwhile, Stefan is pouring wine in each glass as they converse. </p><p>Alaric promptly stands up from his seat once he notices that Josie has returned.</p><p>“Dad.” Josie nods her head at him in acknowledgement, her expression stony, before taking a seat across from him. </p><p>Her mother sits next to her and across Lizzie, presumably to provide some sort of support for her throughout dinner. </p><p>Her father nods back and slowly sits back down, treading lightly so as not to provoke her daughter.</p><p>“So, I’m guessing everyone’s ready to eat?” Stefan asks with a nervous chuckle as he holds up the carving knife for the turkey. </p><p>Thanksgiving may have just become Josie’s least favorite holiday. </p><p>After everyone has settled in their seats and all the food’s been transferred from the kitchen to the table, dinner is ready to go. It’s awkward at first, Stefan bringing up mundane topics like the weather, the stock market, and current affairs. Josie is silent for the most part, taking frequent sips from her wine glass. She doesn’t really know what to say, but her mom and Lizzie try to contribute as much as they can. Once that dies down though, the occasional clunking of their eating utensils becomes the only noise that fills the deep silence in the room. Apparently, it makes her dad uncomfortable because he starts initiating small talk that’s a little less detached.</p><p>“This stuffing’s really good. Who made it?” he asks before scooping some of it in his mouth.</p><p>“Josie did,” Lizzie quickly replies. The silence seems to have made her twin uncomfortable as well.</p><p>“You did a wonderful job, honey,” Alaric says, looking right at her. </p><p>His crooked smile and look of pride should make her feel warm and appreciated. Instead, it reminds her of what he failed to give her for 8 years. It reminds her of the mentorship that she never received because she wasn’t good enough for him to come back. She should’ve been getting that look from him every time she scored a goal or won an award. </p><p>Suddenly, she feels like she can’t breathe.</p><p>“Why are you here, dad?” she snaps as she finally addresses the elephant in the room, her hands tightly clutching her fork and knife. </p><p>Alaric is taken aback, unable to quickly come up with an answer.</p><p>“Why?” Josie presses, her tone unwavering. </p><p>Lizzie is looking down at her lap while her mother is intently looking at Alaric as well, clearly anticipating the answer. </p><p>Alaric sighs, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “I regret not being there for all of you,” he finally says. It’s so soft that it’s almost indiscernible, but Josie fails to miss it. “I’m trying to fix the mistakes I’ve made.”</p><p>“It’s too late,” Josie replies without even thinking about it.</p><p>“But Jo-”</p><p>“It’s too late, dad,” she insists. “Do you have any idea how much I wanted you to come back? You were the reason why I played soccer. I wanted nothing more in the world than for you to be proud of me and carry on the Saltzman legacy.”</p><p>“I <em>am</em> proud of you!” he exclaims, desperately trying to squash his daughter’s doubts. He sighs deeply. “I regret taking that professional contract to play in Germany. I thought that at the time, my dream to play professionally in Europe trumped everything else, even my family. I know now that that’s not true. I was incredibly stupid and I made a mistake,” he confesses, looking at Caroline as well.</p><p>“Why show up now, Ric? You had years to fix this,” her mother says, her face as stony as her daughter’s.</p><p>“By the time I’ve realized how much I screwed up, you’ve all moved on,” he meekly says.</p><p>“That’s not true!” Josie exclaims in frustration. “All I did since you left was train until I couldn’t anymore. I figured that maybe if I practiced enough and got recognition for being the best that it would get your attention. I wanted your mentorship because I wanted to become the player that you were and you couldn’t even give that to me!”</p><p>Her father is speechless, shame coating the entirety of his face. He can’t bear to look at his daughter so he merely focuses his attention on his plate of food.</p><p>“You know what’s worse? When I got injured, I wanted to give up because I felt like there was no way you’d come back at that point. In a flash, I became a nobody, and I thought that I was hopeless,” she says, hot tears starting to form in her eyes as she relives the pain that she endured two years ago. “You couldn’t even come back to be there for me and tell me that I’d be okay.” </p><p>Josie is shaking and tears are freely falling down her face by the time she reveals the main reason why her father’s abandonment has left a wound so fresh that it still gives her unimaginable pain whenever she thinks about it. She’s aware that she wasn’t the only one affected when her dad left to go to Germany, but Lizzie and her mother are aware of how much of an impact it’s made on her specifically.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Josie,” he says, shaking his head and biting his lip. </p><p>In the ten years that her father’s been in her life, Josie doesn’t remember a time when she’s seen him cry. Right now seems to be the closest she’s been to witnessing it. </p><p>“I swear, I will make it up to you,” he promises. </p><p>Josie shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “No. I stopped playing for you and I started playing for myself and I’ve accomplished so much more because of that. There’s no place in my life for you anymore, dad.” She downs the rest of her wine and throws her napkin on the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get out here,” she says to the rest of the table.</p><p>Alaric stands up as she does, an attempt to stop her from leaving. Lizzie is quick to stand up with him and place a hand on his arm to stop him.</p><p>“Let her go, dad,” she firmly says. </p><p>Josie nods at her sister in appreciation before marching up to her room. </p><p>She collapses on her bed as soon as she gets there and lets out a loud sob. She knew that this day was bound to come and in its own fucked up way, she felt relieved that she was finally able to let everything that’s been building for years off of her chest. Despite that, it doesn’t stop her from feeling incredibly dejected. Her dad’s been her role model for years and a part of her, no matter how small, will always care about what he thinks of her. She rationalizes that this was a step in the right direction in finding her inner peace and moving on. </p><p>Before she gets too deep in her thoughts, her phone dings, alerting her of a new text message.</p><p><em><strong>6:35 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: happy thanksgiving! hope you’re not breaking your strict playoff diet :)</p><p>For the first time that night, Josie genuinely smiles.</p><p><em><strong>6:36 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: thanks, you too :) </p><p><em><strong>6:36 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: dinner ended earlier than expected so i’m still good to go</p><p><em><strong>6:37 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: aw why? everything good?</p><p>Josie doesn’t know <em>why</em> but after contemplating her reply for a bit, she decides to tell Hope the truth.</p><p><em><strong>6:41 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: not really. my dad dropped by. didn’t want to deal with it, so i stormed out after things went south.</p><p>It takes Hope a while to reply and for a second, Josie thinks that she might have overshared. Despite the fact that they have been getting closer, their friendship is still fairly new. She’s quickly typing up another message to try and mitigate the seriousness of what she just said when Hope is suddenly calling her to Facetime. </p><p>In a panic, Josie quickly sits up and hastily rubs her tears off of her cheeks. She answers the call and allows the video to load before Hope’s face appears on her screen.</p><p>Josie’s heart immediately flutters at the sight of her friend and she quickly rationalizes that it’s because she hasn’t seen her in a while. Hope has her auburn hair down in soft waves and her make up is pristinely done, but not overwhelming. There’s an easy smile on her face, but it instantly drops once she sees Josie’s puffy eyes and red nose, the latter cursing that she didn’t do a good enough job of cleaning herself up. She did only have 10 seconds at most to accept Hope’s call. </p><p>“Josie,” Hope softly sighs in sympathy.</p><p>“I’m fine,” she immediately replies, not wanting to worry her friend.</p><p>“No, you’re not. What happened?” Hope gently prods.</p><p>Josie is silent, not really knowing how much she should share without overwhelming the other girl with her emotional baggage.</p><p>“It’s okay if you don’t want to. We can also just talk about other stuff,” she quickly adds on, sensing Josie’s discomfort. </p><p> Josie instantly shakes her head. “N-no, I want to. I just don’t want to burden you with it. Also, it’s kind of weird because my dad’s your coach.”</p><p>Hope chuckles at the last part. “Yes, but you’re my friend. That trumps your dad being my coach.”</p><p>Josie’s heart warms at her words. She doesn’t think she’s met anyone as thoughtful and understanding as Hope. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>So Josie tells Hope everything. She starts by telling Hope about her dad leaving her family to play professional soccer abroad and ends with what was said during dinner less than half an hour ago. Surprisingly, Josie was able to keep her tears at bay and it’s probably because she didn’t want to appear too vulnerable in front of Hope, considering that this subject matter is already an extremely sensitive part of her life. </p><p>Hope attentively listened throughout the whole story, occasionally commenting when she heard something particularly interesting or exasperating while also affirming some of Josie’s sentiments about her father. Once Josie finishes, Hope has heard enough to share her thoughts and provide a common ground between the two of them.</p><p>“I understand where you’re coming from,” Hope empathizes. “I know how it feels.”</p><p>“How?” Josie asks, her curiosity piqued. She didn’t expect for Hope to understand. It seemed like her life was perfect on the outside.</p><p>Hope bites her lip, seemingly debating with herself.</p><p>“My mom. Sh-she died when I was 15. Car accident,” she finally shares, her voice trembling at the slightest. </p><p>Josie’s heart drops upon hearing her words. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with it. For the most part,” Hope replies, giving her a tight-lipped smile. </p><p>Despite the reassurance, it doesn’t stop Josie from imagining a young 15 year old Hope Mikaelson dealing with her mother’s death. </p><p>“It broke me, but it destroyed my dad,” she reveals. “The only way he knew how to cope was to drown himself in work. It’s part of the reason why The Mikaelson Group is as successful as it is today.” </p><p>“And what about you? How did you cope?”</p><p>“I did what you did. I drowned myself in soccer.” </p><p>Even through the pixely screen, Josie notices that there is a particular nostalgia on Hope’s face when she says that. </p><p>“It’s the only thing I had left that anchored me to my mom and it’s not like my dad could give me the attention that I needed either.” </p><p>“Jesus, Hope,” Josie sighs out. She can’t imagine what Hope went through. She didn’t just lose one parent. She lost two. </p><p>“I think it’s okay now. I realized that the best way to connect with my dad is by talking about the business and as I’ve gotten older, he’s been more willing to open up because of it. It’s why I’m playing for Stanford anyway,” she says as a way to reassure the brunette.</p><p>That instantly gets Josie’s attention. Did Hope not want to play for Stanford? It’s one of the most prestigious universities in the world and has one of the greatest women’s soccer programs in the nation. She thought that was the reason why Hope committed to play there.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“My mom played for UCLA. I got an offer to play for them and I was almost ready to take it because I wanted to continue her legacy.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“But everybody on my dad’s side of the family went to Stanford. My dad, my uncle Elijah, my uncle Kol, my aunt Freya, and my aunt Rebekah all went there to study business and it was an unspoken agreement that I would go there too if I were to take over as CEO one day.” </p><p>“But do you <em>want</em> to be CEO one day?” Josie prods.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Hope shrugs. “At the time, I didn’t want to lose my dad. We’ve made so much progress and I didn’t want to risk disappointing him by going to UCLA. It was a no-brainer for me.”</p><p>Josie’s mind is reeling from all of the information she’s learning about Hope. She feels ashamed for being angry at her in the past because she has irrationally thought that Hope hasn’t faced adversity in her life. If anything, she’s gone through much more than Josie has.</p><p>“God, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“For what?” Hope asks, tilting her head in confusion.</p><p>Josie sighs. “I’ve always thought that you were just a cold and stuck-up rich girl who’s had everything handed to her. That’s obviously not true and I’m ashamed for letting those prejudices cloud my impression of you. You’re the complete opposite of that. You’re the kindest, most understanding, and most thoughtful person I’ve ever met.”</p><p>Josie can’t tell if it’s the pixels on the screen, but she notices that Hope’s cheeks seem to blush at her words and that knowledge is enough to create butterflies in her stomach.</p><p>“Thanks, Jo,” Hope beams. “I’m glad we became friends.” </p><p>“Yeah, friends.” Josie murmurs, sadly smiling at Hope back. The word doesn’t feel right on her tongue.</p><p>“Don’t feel bad. I wanted to share my story because I know how much it helps to have someone who gets you. It’s also to tell you that your dad not coming back has no bearing on who you are as a person or as an athlete. None of that was your fault. Just like how it wasn’t my fault that my dad chose to cope by working himself to death. That’s all on them.”</p><p>Upon hearing Hope’s comforting words, Josie merely stares at her through the screen, her mind going haywire as thought after thought attack her subconscious. </p><p>It was at that moment that Josie finally realizes something that’s been sitting in her mind for weeks. It’s been buried deep beneath her thoughts, threatening to burst out whenever Hope looked at her a certain way, spoke to her with a particular softness in her voice, or gave her a comforting touch. She realizes it when she catches herself staring at Hope’s ocean blue eyes and her soft pink lips through her phone screen. She realizes it when she feels like a blade skewered her heart when Hope used the word “friends” to describe their relationship. Lastly, she realizes it when Hope gets her to believe that she’s <em>always</em> been good enough for her father. </p><p>With that, Josie’s world stops.</p><p>“Jo? You still there?” Hope playfully asks with a small chuckle.</p><p>Josie rapidly blinks her eyes to refocus herself, desperately trying to ground herself from her self-incriminating thoughts.</p><p>“Y-yeah. I’m good!” she says almost too cheerfully. “I-uh I’ll let you go. I don’t want to keep you from your family for too long.” </p><p>She needs some time to process everything she’s just grasped and she knows that prolonging this video call would keep her from properly doing that. She needs to get away from the very reason why her world has been tilted off its axis. </p><p>“What? No, it’s fine!” Hope insists, knitting her eyebrows.</p><p>“No, really! I feel much better now. Thank you so much for listening to me. I really appreciate it and I’m so happy to know that you were comfortable enough to share your story with me. It’s helped me more than you realize,” she says, much more sincerely this time.  </p><p>Hope visibly relaxes from her words. “Of course, Jo. It’s really easy to talk to you. And I know that we’ve only really started getting close for a couple months, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”</p><p>Josie’s heart flutters and she knows exactly why now. “We’ve technically known each other for a while,” she jokes, trying to shift the energy of the conversation.</p><p>Hope rolls her eyes. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”</p><p>“I do,” she readily admits, a weak smile appearing on her face. She’s never clicked this well with anyone in her life.</p><p>Hope doesn’t seem to notice her change in demeanor. “Okay, I’ll go. My dad’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. Bye, Hope.”</p><p>“Bye, Jo.”</p><p>When the call ends, Josie collapses back onto her bed and buries her face in her pillows, her mind still reeling from her startling revelation. She tries to process what it means for her friendship with Hope and most importantly, her friendship with Landon. Her stomach churns upon thinking about her best friend and not in a good way. She suddenly feels nauseous. </p><p>She doesn’t have much time to think more about it because the door to her room suddenly bursts open. She abruptly sits up to see who was rude enough to barge in without knocking, and observes that it’s only Lizzie. <em>Of course.</em></p><p>“Jo, dad just left and mom wanted me to-” she interrupts herself upon seeing Josie’s frazzled and conflicted state. “Are you okay?” </p><p>In a panic, Josie doesn’t think about what she says next.</p><p>“I have feelings for Hope and I can’t tell her.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>everybody clap for josie who finally realized what we've known this whole time</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>a note on last chapter: it has come to my attention that some of y’all may not have enjoyed the fact that i paired caroline &amp; alaric and hayley &amp; klaus together but hear me out please. both hope and josie’s parental structures aren't really the easiest to navigate through and i didn’t want to deal with the little love hexagon (or whatever you would like to call it lol) from TVD/TO so i took the easy way out and made the pairings that would make the most sense for my story. it was purely a strategic decision because i didn’t want to compromise their parental figures since for example, hope is really close with both her mom and dad and caroline is josie’s main mom figure, not jo. if it’s any consolation, i prob won’t mention it again anyway since that whole chapter was only really meant to act as a mechanism to get hope and josie closer together lol</p><p>ok that's the end of my tedtalk lol just wanted to justify some of my decisions</p><p>without further ado, here is chapter 11. as always, i really appreciate your kind comments! it motivates me to keep writing both this fic and in general and it's fun interacting with y'all :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lizzie stands frozen by Josie’s door, her eyes wide, and mouth agape once she hears her sister’s minor outburst.</p><p>“Lizzie? Please say something. I’m kind of freaking out over here!” Josie hisses.</p><p>In response, Lizzie shuts the door behind her and takes a seat on the foot of Josie’s bed. “I want to say I’m surprised, but I’m not.”</p><p>Josie’s eyes widen and her mouth drops in shock. “<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“Okay, I didn’t exactly expect <em>that</em>, but looking back, you weren’t being subtle during brunch.”</p><p>“I didn’t even know then! How the hell did <em>you</em> know?”</p><p>“You were shamelessly staring at her! The only thing that got your attention was me mentioning dad.” </p><p>Josie’s eyes narrow at the mention of their father, immediately causing Lizzie to hold her hands up in defense.</p><p>“Okay, too soon. But, I’m serious about brunch. I thought you were just out of it because you were hungover or something, but this makes so much more sense!” Lizzie exclaims, more to herself at this point. </p><p>Josie immediately grabs a pillow from behind her and throws it at her twin.</p><p>“Ow! What the hell?”</p><p>“Can you <em>please</em> focus? I can’t tell her!” </p><p>“What? Why not?” Lizzie asks, thoroughly confused. Josie glares at her to tell her to think harder before realization finally crosses her face. “<em>Oh.</em>”</p><p>“Yeah,” Josie sighs out defeatedly. “I cannot get in between her and Landon. Their relationship is still so fresh and they seem to really like each other.” It takes a lot for her not to cringe at the small lie at the end.</p><p>“Not to be crude or anything, but how sure are you that they’re really into each other?”</p><p>The question instantly transports Josie back to a few weeks ago when Hope confessed that she didn’t feel too confident about Landon. She bites her lip. </p><p>“You know something,” Lizzie observes with a small gasp. </p><p>“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Josie mumbles out as she avoids meeting Lizzie’s eyes by playing with a loose thread on her blanket.</p><p>“It’s obviously something. Spill. Now,” her sister immediately demands, her eyes laser-focused on Josie.</p><p>Josie rolls her eyes at her sister’s annoying persistence before finally relenting. “Hope said that she wasn’t sure if Landon is her epic love.” </p><p>Lizzie is a little taken aback. “Oh? What did you say?” </p><p>“I told her to give him a chance because it’s only been 2 months and she couldn’t possibly know by then,” she mumbles so quickly that it’s almost indiscernible. Of course, Lizzie understood everything.</p><p>“<em>Josie</em>,” her twin scolds her.</p><p>Josie visibly cringes. “I <em>know.</em>”</p><p>“Why would you tell her that?”</p><p>“I didn’t realize how much I liked her then and I didn’t want Landon’s heart to get broken. I still don’t,” Josie explains as her head hangs in shame. She has returned to anxiously playing with the hem of her blanket.</p><p>Lizzie blows air out of her mouth, taking a minute to think about the correct advice to give. “I think you should talk to him.”</p><p>Josie’s head snaps up in response. “Are you crazy? He’s the last person I want to talk to about <em>this</em>,” she hisses, gesturing with her hands to add emphasis.</p><p>Lizzie rolls her eyes. “Not in that way, you idiot. I meant to talk to him about what he thinks of his relationship with Hope. You only have one side of the story. Once you have both, then consider your options,” she explains like it’s the simplest thing in the world.</p><p>“Oh yeah? Because I was pretty set on just suppressing my feelings,” Josie sarcastically shoots back.  </p><p>“You’ve been doing that for years when it came to literally every major life event that’s happened to you and it’s only made you bitter. You are <em>not</em> doing that again,” Lizzie insists as she vigorously shakes her head.</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Am I wrong?”</p><p>Josie thinks about how she’s handled the past few years of her life: her dad leaving, getting injured, losing her scholarship, hating Hope Mikaelson, finding out the truth, telling her dad off, and now, developing feelings for Hope Mikaelson. All she’s done is keep her emotions bottled up and cope by either training herself to death or more recently, drinking until she can’t remember shit the next day, and it’s left a heaviness in her chest that’s been weighing her down without her even knowing. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Talk to him,” Lizzie urges once more.</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>---</p><p>Josie promised Lizzie that she was going to talk to Landon, but that didn’t necessarily mean she had to do it soon. She was in the middle of playoffs and feeling sorry for herself would just keep her from performing her best. As a result, she immersed herself into the madness that is playoffs and pushed it off. </p><p>Besides, it’s not like she has time to even talk to Landon. The quarterfinal, which will determine whether or not they make it to the semifinals, was against Florida State and she and her team had to travel all the way to Tallahassee right after Thanksgiving for the match.</p><p>Florida State entered the tournament as a number 1 seed and as expected, it caused a bit of anxiety among the Cal team especially since they haven’t played FSU much in the past and didn’t exactly know how they operated.</p><p>The game started off a little rough, FSU not hesitating to foul to break the flow of the game. Josie’s been pushed and tripped at least seven different times in a span of 15 minutes and she knew she was going to be sore the next morning. However, the momentum shifted when Luca Deza, one of Cal’s midfielders, served Josie an impeccable cross that she effortlessly tapped into the goal. From then on, the goals kept coming. It was a particularly good game for Penelope who scored 2 goals, and Luca scored a last minute goal in stoppage time to end the game with a score of 4-0. </p><p>The team got out of it incredibly shocked, not expecting such a good outcome against a team of FSU’s caliber. Right after they dumped the whole water cooler on Coach Williams to celebrate and shook the hands of their heartbroken opponents, Josie returned to the locker room and found several messages on her phone.</p><p>The messages came from a wide range of people: Lizzie, Landon, MG, Raf, and her mom among others, probably to congratulate her on making it to the semifinals. However, 3 messages from Hope caught her eye and of course, she chose to open those first.</p><p><em><strong>7:23 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: i see the scoring streak is alive and well<br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: congrats on the goal and making the semis<br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: we’ll find out in a few hours if i’ll see you there ;)</p><p>Josie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, her mouth turned in a temporary frown. Her eyes widen upon realizing it.</p><p><em><strong>7:49 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: fuck, i TOTALLY forgot that we’d have to play each other because of how the brackets are set up. now i’m scared.</p><p>She knows that Hope will probably brush it off like it’s nothing, but Josie is freaking out at the prospect of playing Stanford again. Not only are the Cardinals out for blood for losing, she’s playing against Berkeley’s century-old rival, her father, <em>and</em> Hope in a game that has much more at stake than a petty rivalry game. Just the thought of it makes her nauseous.</p><p><em><strong>7:53 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: don’t be! it’s not like we’re seeking revenge or anything.</p><p><em><strong>7:54 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: wow, you’re funny aren’t you?<br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: but good luck, you’ll kill it i guess :P</p><p>They have to fly back to Cal the next morning, so the team decides to keep their celebration light. A few girls on the team have fake IDs so they procured some refreshments and most of the team camped in Josie and Penelope’s hotel room to drink and watch the Stanford vs. Brigham Young University game that has just begun on the west coast. </p><p>Josie nervously bites her lip throughout the whole game, extremely torn between wanting Stanford to win because it’s what Hope deserves, and wanting them to lose because she doesn’t want to play against them in the semifinals for <em>many</em> valid reasons. Stanford ends up destroying BYU with a final score of 5-0 (because <em>of course</em>) and deep down, Josie expected it, but that didn't stop her stomach from turning.</p><p>The game against Stanford isn’t for another week which thankfully gives Josie a moment to breathe. The break gives her time to catch up with her friends again since she was instantly swept by soccer duties right after Thanksgiving.</p><p>On a particularly nice and sunny day, she’s sitting on the grass in Memorial Glade with Landon. She brought her ukulele to play random tunes and Landon decided to bring his guitar to jam in solidarity.</p><p>After they finish playing their combined rendition of Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People, there’s a comfortable lull between them that’s broken when Landon decides to bring something up.</p><p>“You’re close with Hope now, right?” he asks out of the blue as he sets his guitar aside.</p><p>Josie’s heart drops at the question. “Um, yes. Why do you ask?”</p><p>“Is it just me or has she been distant lately?” </p><p>Josie recognizes this as a conversation that she should’ve initiated days ago. She’s thankful that she’s finally forced to face it, but she also wants to get up, walk away, and not deal with it either. </p><p>“What makes you say that?” she carefully asks, not wanting to incriminate herself and the insider knowledge that she has.</p><p>“I don’t know. She just hasn’t had much time to Facetime or come over to campus. I’ve offered to go to Stanford but she said she probably wouldn’t have much time because of training.” </p><p>Josie gulps as she recognizes that this could possibly be a byproduct of Hope’s doubts that she learned about several weeks ago. Hope has sure as hell Facetimed her multiple times for hours at a time during the past few weeks. She hopes she’s wrong though.</p><p>“Um, well, there’s playoffs and also school. The business program at Stanford is pretty intense. To be fair, I haven’t had much time either. You’d know that much,” she says as she defends Hope. She wants so badly to believe that Hope took her advice to heart and is just genuinely busy because of playoffs and school. She does have to keep her grades up because she might be The Mikaelson Group’s next CEO one day. </p><p>“Hmm that’s true. I don’t know, I just feel like something shifted,” Landon wonders out loud.</p><p>With that, Josie is <em>incredibly</em> tempted to plant the seed that Hope is doubtful. In fact, she is so close that it’s on the tip of her tongue. However, it stays there when Landon decides to add onto his thought and it shifts her focus elsewhere.</p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I mean, I feel like things have been getting pretty serious between us, so maybe that’s why,” he muses, looking up at the clear blue sky in thought.</p><p>“D-do you love her?” Josie impulsively asks as she plays with the strings of her ukulele. She doesn’t know if she even wants the answer.</p><p>“The relationship is young, so I can’t say for sure. I can see myself falling for her though. She’s amazing and I never expected for her to date a guy like me. I know that she’s way out of my league. I’ve never had much luck with girls.” </p><p>Knowing that Landon isn’t deep enough to be in love with Hope makes Josie internally sigh in relief, but her chest hurts when Landon mentions one of his biggest insecurities. </p><p>“Yeah,” she half-heartedly replies to indicate that she’s still listening.</p><p>“She makes me really happy. Like the happiest I’ve been in a while,” he says with a soft smile.  </p><p>That’s when Josie decides that she can’t bear to plant seeds of doubt that may not even be worth mentioning. She trusts that Hope is giving Landon a chance and is only distant because of her obligations. </p><p>In that moment, Josie rationalizes that Hope will eventually realize that Landon’s the one for her, Landon will be happy and in love, and she can just deal with her feelings and find a way to move on. Who is she to take away Landon’s happiness? Besides, Hope and Landon are <em>perfect</em> for each other, aren’t they?</p><p>“You guys are good together. Give it some time. Playoffs will be over soon and everything will go back to normal,” she reassures him. She doesn’t know how convincing she sounds because a microscopic part of her doesn’t believe that things will go back to normal. She has feelings for her best friend’s girlfriend. That’s anything but normal.</p><p>Regardless of her inner doubts, it eases Landon’s mind because he grins in return. “You’re right.”</p><p>---</p><p>The dreadful day of the Cal versus Stanford semifinal game comes. Because of the way that the bracket was structured, the match is held at Berkeley instead of Stanford which adds some source of comfort for the team. Nonetheless, that doesn’t stop Josie’s stomach from going into knots. She’s barely approachable during warm-ups, answering her teammates with short and dry responses, and her heart starts beating erratically whenever she catches Hope’s gaze from across the field. She chooses to ignore, however, her father’s longing stare from Stanford’s bench, deciding that he’s not even worth her nerves. Progress.</p><p>Lizzie, MG, Raf, and Landon are watching, of course. Not only in obvious support of Josie, but also of Hope because she has slowly but surely become a part of their little entourage. Of course, school spirit trumps friendship in situations like these, so Lizzie, MG, and Raf are undoubtedly rooting for Cal. Landon, however, is a wild card.</p><p>The match begins, and Josie’s nerves are still on fire. It’s obvious that she’s not completely in it. Her touches are off and Penelope’s increasingly getting frustrated that their passes aren’t connecting.</p><p>At the 17th minute, she’s had enough and pulls Josie aside when the ball goes out of bounds.</p><p>“Josie, what the <em>hell</em>?” </p><p>“I know. I’m working on it,” she says through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Get it together.”</p><p>A few minutes later, Josie manages to set up an assist for Penelope who heads the ball into goal. The Cal forward internally sighs in relief as she feels like a huge weight is lifted off her shoulders, thinking that she’s finally getting it together. It’s not a goal, but it’s something. </p><p>Not long after, the pressure to score comes back. Stanford easily takes advantage of a pocket in Cal’s defense and Maya shoots a laser from 20 yards out. In a blink of an eye, their lead has diminished and the game remains up for grabs. </p><p>After half-time, they try to recalibrate for the second half and shift their strategy to make it more offense-oriented in an effort to get more goals on the board. At first, it seems to work since they’re creating more chances, frazzling Hope, and the defensive line. However, after a fatal mistake by Cal’s defense in which their center back miscalculates a pass that falls to the feet of a Stanford player, they’re suddenly trailing 2-1 and Josie’s stomach is back in knots. </p><p>Stanford’s second goal sucks the confidence out of Cal and they begin struggling to make chances again. Josie becomes a little impatient and restless which causes her to make hasty decisions that fail to result in goals. The rest of the team is getting frustrated, the implications of a loss finally dawning on them, and it makes them careless.</p><p>At the 83rd minute, one of Cal’s defenders lobs a particularly well placed ball for Josie’s fellow forward, Emma Westin. Emma is too focused on receiving the ball when she jumps up that she doesn’t realize that Hope is also jumping with the intention to head the ball as far away from their goal as possible. As a result, their heads collide and they both crumple to the ground in pain.</p><p>Josie’s heart drops upon seeing Hope’s body go slack for a split second and she doesn’t hesitate to rush over to check on her. She hastily lands on her knees next to her friend and gently shakes her shoulder.</p><p>“Hope?” she frantically asks, absentmindedly lacing her fingers with Hope’s when the Stanford defender aimlessly reaches out to anchor herself to something. Hope’s in a daze, her eyes going in and out of focus, and she doesn’t reply. “Hope!” Josie repeats more forcefully, lightly slapping her friend’s cheek with her free hand. The auburn-haired girl closes her eyes and groans in response and that’s enough to quell Josie’s fears.</p><p>Not before long, Stanford’s trainer rushes to Hope, but Josie is still hesitant to let her go. Someone gently taps her on the shoulder and she’s ready to tell them off when she finds that it’s only Penelope who has a peculiar look in her eye. </p><p>“Jo, she’s in good hands. Come on,” Penelope urges her, gently tugging her away. </p><p>Josie takes a second look at Hope who correctly answers the trainer when he asks her what the date is. It’s enough to convince her to release her grip on Hope’s hand.</p><p>“Okay,” she relents as Penelope guides her to grab a drink of water.</p><p>After a few minutes, Josie watches the trainer and one of Hope’s teammates gently guide her to her feet and she notices that Hope squeezes her eyes shut once she stands up, a huge wave of dizziness probably hitting her. Josie is still staring when they guide her to sit on the bench, her dad crouched down in front of Hope, presumably to ask how she feels. Alaric nods before standing up and talking to a player on the bench, probably to tell her that she’s getting substituted in. Josie breathes out a sigh of relief that Hope doesn’t insist that she keeps playing because she obviously just suffered a nasty concussion.</p><p>The game resumes and Josie doesn’t even remember how it went. She only knows that they lost and that they’re out of the competition, but it’s the least of her worries. She heard that Stanford’s training staff insisted that Hope go to the hospital as a precautionary measure to make sure that it’s just a concussion, and it’s the only thing she can think about.</p><p>In the locker room, her teammates are dejected, some even crying because they were so close to winning the College Cup this year but failed. Josie, however, can’t seem to find it in her to cry, so she just sits in front of her locker, aimlessly staring at nothing. Her mindless daze breaks when Penelope slumps next to her, her eyes a bit puffy from crying. </p><p>“Josie,” Penelope murmurs. Her voice sounds a bit rough on the edges and Josie can only assume that it’s from the crying.</p><p>Josie repeatedly blinks her eyes to refocus herself and turns towards Penelope, still a bit distracted. “Hmm?”</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>Josie’s eyebrows instantly furrow at the vague question. Is she referring to her abhorrent performance? Because if so, she doesn’t want to talk about it.</p><p>“I know I played like shit. Don’t rub it in my face,” she tiredly says, not in the mood to have this conversation after the emotional exhaustion she’s endured that night. </p><p>“I’m talking about what happened with Hope,” she maintains, looking right into Josie’s eyes.</p><p>With that, Josie is dead silent and Penelope continues.</p><p>“You love her, don’t you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and i oop</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my apologies for slightly deviating from my regular updating frequency; i recently made a big career-related decision due to this pandemic (lol :/) and i needed some time to process everything.</p><p>also, this is lowkey really long so it took me a while to write and edit.</p><p>anyways, here it is: chapter 12. i hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie immediately chokes on air as she hears Penelope’s words.</p><p>“W-what? Where the hell did you get that from?”</p><p>Penelope rolls her eyes. “First of all, you wouldn’t have reacted that way if <em>I</em> got a concussion. Second, we stopped sleeping together ever since we got back from Thanksgiving break and we literally shared a hotel room in Tallahassee.”</p><p>Josie falters at that. She knows deep down that Penelope is right, but there’s no way she’s admitting to that. “T-that’s not true!” she exclaims, choosing to ignore Penelope’s second point. That one’s <em>much</em> harder to dispute. </p><p>The Cal midfielder scoffs. “If it’s not love, it’s <em>major</em> feelings,” she urges, but not wanting Josie to spontaneously combust at another insistence of love.</p><p>Josie slumps in return, not having the energy to deny it to her. Lizzie already knows, it’s about time Penelope found out. “Yes. I have feelings for her.”</p><p>Penelope's eyes instantly soften at her dispirited friend, her hand coming up to rub soothing circles on Josie’s back. Unlike Lizzie, she instantly understood why Josie is so down in the dumps.</p><p>“It’ll be okay, Jo,” Penelope reassures her.  </p><p>“No, it’s not,” Josie mumbles out. “Landon’s the happiest he’s ever been with her. I can’t take that away from him.”</p><p>Penelope huffs at Josie’s immediate surrender. “Oh, cry me a river. Hope doesn’t like him nearly as much as he likes her. It’s so obvious.”</p><p>Josie narrows her eyes at Penelope’s bold remark, not recalling talking to her about Hope’s doubts. “How in the world do you know that?” she asks, her tone getting borderline hostile.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Penelope continues. “She seems so restrained around him and it’s been more obvious ever since you guys got back from camp.”</p><p>Josie’s eyes initially widen but it’s immediately followed by a clenched jaw once she registers Penelope’s implication. She doesn’t want Penelope to plant <em>that</em> seed in her head. She doesn’t want anything to weaken the resolve that she’s built around her heart to protect Landon from getting his heart broken. </p><p>“<em>Don’t</em>.”</p><p>Penelope shakes her head at Josie’s vehement denial. “Screw Landon. Do something for yourself for once.”</p><p>“How could you say that?” she incredulously asks, her lips etched in a tight frown.</p><p>Again, Penelope rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, Jo. All your life, you’ve been giving people a free pass. Your dad left? You blamed yourself when all of it was his fault. You got injured? You blamed the wrong person and hated yourself for being weak when Dana’s the one who should be rotting in hell for it. Hope doesn’t feel the same way as Landon? You sabotage yourself to make Landon happy when <em>you</em> could be happy. Stop being so selfless and do something for yourself!”</p><p>Deep in her heart, Josie knows that everything Penelope is saying is true, but the brunette’s words hit a little too hard where it hurts her the most. She just doesn’t have it in her to hurt <em>anyone</em>, let alone Landon. Maybe she <em>is</em> weak. </p><p>Suddenly, she doesn’t want to be there anymore.</p><p>“Screw this,” she angrily spits out as she abruptly stands up.</p><p>Penelope’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as she attempts to follow suit, only for Josie to gesture for her to stop. </p><p>“<em>Don’t</em> follow me,” Josie demands through gritted teeth before she stomps towards the locker room exit.</p><p>“Where are you going?!” Penelope yells out behind her.</p><p>“Where I should’ve been this whole time instead of talking to you!” Josie yells back over her shoulder. She’s relieved to find out that Penelope indeed does not follow her.</p><p>---</p><p>After a 20 minute Uber ride to UCSF medical center, Josie anxiously asks the nurse’s desk for a Hope Mikaelson.</p><p>Once she gingerly opens the door to her friend’s examination room, she immediately locks into Hope’s familiar blue eyes which immediately brighten up at the sight of her. Josie’s so distracted by them that she doesn’t register that there’s someone else in the room and he’s sitting on top of the examination table with Hope, his arm lazily wrapped around her.</p><p>“Josie!” Landon exclaims, immediately breaking their subtle starting contest.</p><p>She can’t help but notice Hope subtly lean away from Landon but she immediately brushes it off given that it’s the least of her worries.</p><p>“Landon!” she replies with weaker enthusiasm and an even weaker smile. Of course he’d be with Hope.</p><p>Josie shuts the door behind her and sits on the chair across the examination table. Hope deflates upon seeing that.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Josie softly asks. “I’m so sorry this happened.”</p><p>Hope’s lips lift into a small smile at Josie’s concern. “I’m fine. The doctor said it’s just a grade 1 concussion. I should be able to play in a few days.”</p><p>“But you’re not going to,” Landon pipes up from next to her.</p><p>“Lan, we talked about this. The College Cup is in less than a week. I can’t not play,” she says, a tinge of annoyance coloring her voice. </p><p>“Fine,” he huffs out, equally as annoyed.</p><p>Hope immediately softens upon realizing that her boyfriend is upset. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I trust what the doctor says,” she softly reasons.</p><p>Landon sighs. “Okay,” he relents as he leans in for a kiss.</p><p>Josie immediately looks down at her hands that are resting on her lap. Despite not seeing it, she still feels her stomach turn. Once she looks back up, Hope is looking at her with concern. Josie doesn’t understand why. She can kiss her boyfriend whenever she pleases.</p><p>“Uh, hey Lan? Can you grab me something from the vending machine? I realize I haven’t eaten in a while and I’m suddenly really hungry.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah of course! Anything for you,” he says, immediately bouncing off the examination table. </p><p>Hope merely smiles in appreciation before Landon is completely out the door. She pats the spot next to her and despite being a little confused by the little errand that Hope made Landon run, Josie doesn’t hesitate to stand up from her seat and sit right next to her. The auburn-haired girl immediately rests her head onto her shoulder and Josie can’t help but tense at the contact.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here,” Hope whispers as she grabs the hand that’s resting on Josie’s lap.</p><p>Josie takes a deep and shaky breath at the contact. “Of course. You should be glad I’m even here after you and your precious Cardinals kicked us out of the tournament,” she quips with a crooked smile.</p><p>Hope immediately lifts her head off of her shoulder and narrows her eyes at her. “Ha ha, very funny. I’m happy we kicked your ass.”</p><p>Josie’s grateful that her crude comment managed to break the brewing intimacy.</p><p>“Oh please. We weren’t 100%. We would’ve destroyed you guys if we had our head in the game.”</p><p>Hope rolls her eyes. “All I hear are excuses. You don’t see me making them and I literally got a righteous knock in the head,” she jokes with a light chuckle.</p><p>Josie’s playfulness dies down, a small frown appearing on her face. “Hey, don’t joke about that. I was terrified when I saw you go down.”</p><p>Hope’s eyes immediately soften, her gaze unwaveringly locked on Josie. For some reason, Josie doesn’t look away either. “I’m sorry. I told you, I’ll be okay.” </p><p>Josie’s never been this close to Hope before and she can’t help but rake her eyes over the entirety of Hope’s face. She notices a small scar above Hope’s right eyebrow that she keeps note of to ask about in the future, subtle freckles scattered across the skin underneath her eyes and the bridge of her nose, the smooth curve of her jaw, and finally those full, pink lips that Josie was only able to stare at during her Facetime call over Thanksgiving, but now can do so in person. They’re a little chapped, probably the doing of the elements from the game just a couple of hours ago, but that doesn’t take away from their allure. </p><p>Hope knows she’s staring because once she flits her eyes up, Hope is looking right at her in a way that Josie can’t quite read. She feels her resolve slightly crumble and she’s thinking about leaning in when her godless thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the doorknob turning. </p><p>She immediately backs away and jumps off the table, not noticing how much Hope deflates at the distance between them. She’s stood frozen by the foot of the table when Landon comes in with a bottle of water and a few bags of snacks, absolutely clueless of the intimate moment that transpired just seconds ago.</p><p>“Sorry it took so long. The closest vending machine didn’t have any trail mix, but I know that it’s your favorite so I went to another floor.” He proudly holds up the trail mix with a huge grin. “I found some!” </p><p>On another day, at literally any other time, Josie’s heart would warm upon witnessing Landon’s unwavering thoughtfulness and care. It’s what she loves about him after all. Instead, it makes her sick to her stomach, knowing that the thought of kissing his girlfriend briefly crossed her mind not even a minute ago. </p><p>She didn’t exactly <em>do</em> anything wrong, but why does it feel that way?</p><p>---</p><p>The days following Josie’s trip to the hospital to visit Hope goes by like a blur, Josie merely going through the motions. Since her season unfortunately ended with the loss against Stanford, she has more time to herself until spring training kicks off after winter break. In a way, it’s a blessing in disguise because she can finally focus on school since final exams are in a week. The end of the soccer season also made it easier for Josie to ignore Penelope, the forward still bitter about the midfielder’s honesty. Penelope’s not the type of person to press, so she doesn’t try to reach out after Josie ignores her first few text messages.</p><p>After the moment they had at the hospital, Josie made it a point to limit her contact with Hope. She does it because she doesn’t trust herself anymore and she thinks that it’s fair punishment for what felt like betrayal against Landon. If Hope notices, she doesn’t say anything, and even though Josie feels relieved, she also can’t help but feel sad about that too. </p><p>Landon doesn’t have a clue about the shift in both Josie’s attitude and her relationship with Hope because he doesn’t hesitate to ask Josie to go with him to the College Cup final where Stanford will be playing against UNC in San Jose. Thankfully, Landon also asks MG, Rafael, Lizzie, and Penelope to come. He also doesn’t have a clue about her fight with Penelope, but regardless, having more people exponentially eases the tension that sits in her chest. Deep down, Josie knows that she wouldn’t have said no anyway. The College Cup is the highest honor that a collegiate women’s soccer team can possess and she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she wasn’t there to see Hope play for it. Besides, she also wants to see Dana Lilien lose miserably.</p><p>As expected, she feels bitter that UNC made it to the final. Her heart hurts at the thought that if Cal didn’t lose, she could finally enact her revenge against the person who’s made her life miserable without her even knowing. On the bright side, if she were to pick any other team to play against UNC in the final, she would pick Stanford in a heartbeat. It’s even better that Hope will have a role in Dana’s downfall that way, too. </p><p>That’s how Josie finds herself among a crowd of noisy Stanford fans in Avaya Stadium. Understandably, her father didn’t put Hope in the starting lineup as a precaution. He may not have been a good father, but at least he’s a good coach and for Hope’s sake, Josie was thankful for that. She knows that Hope was most likely irked by the decision, but Josie doesn’t doubt that she will be seeing playing time that night. </p><p>Stanford and UNC are evenly matched because they are still deadlocked well into the second half. </p><p>They’re about 30 minutes before the final whistle blows when Alaric finally substitutes Hope in, not liking how wishy washy the defense has been all night and deciding that they can’t afford to concede a goal this close to the end. Josie obnoxiously cheers at the substitution, her friends happily following suit. It catches Hope’s attention because she looks towards their direction in the stands with a confused smile that turns into a genuine one once she locks eyes with Josie. Josie smiles back.</p><p>The game is still tied by the time the whistle blows, forcing the match to go into overtime. At this point, Josie is a nervous wreck, the Cup still very much up for grabs. She can tell that everyone is also at the edge of their seats, Raf and MG jumping up every time a promising play happens. </p><p>There are a few chances during the overtime period, but none of them stick. By the time the whistle blows, Josie’s heart threatens to beat out of her chest.</p><p>“What’s going to happen now?!” Landon asks in a panic as he stands up and runs his hands through his hair.</p><p>“How are you dating one of the best college players in the country and not know what’s going to happen next?” Penelope sneers in sharp annoyance. </p><p>Josie wants to smack her for giving Landon a hard time because she knows exactly why she’s acting that way towards him. “Ignore her,” she sharply says as she glares at the brunette. </p><p>Penelope simply rolls her eyes at her in return. </p><p>“They have to do a penalty shootout, so each team takes turns taking penalty kicks. The team that scores the most points out of five wins, given that they're not tied. If they are, they keep going until someone wins,” she explains, making sure it’s loud enough for Rafael and MG to hear in case they didn’t know either.</p><p>“Geez, that’s so much pressure,” MG comments.</p><p>“We train for this scenario all the time. I trust them,” she says, attempting to ease her friends’ restlessness. She’s already stressed and she doesn’t want to deal with their panicked commentary on top of that.</p><p>Alyssa is the first to go for UNC and she easily scores. The Stanford goalkeeper guessed correctly and dove the right way, but there was too much power behind the shot that it was still out of her reach. Josie doesn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes because <em>of course</em>. </p><p>On the other hand, Maya is the first one to go up for Stanford and she calmly slots the ball into the bottom right corner of the goal, earning a loud cheer from the crowd. UNC’s goalkeeper had no chance since she dove the opposite direction.</p><p>The next three rounds went as well as the first, both teams unwavering when it came to their scoring ability. Josie wishes that it isn’t so close, but she also isn’t surprised knowing Stanford and UNC’s caliber. </p><p>For round five, Josie watches Dana walk up to the penalty spot. Anger starts trickling in her chest when she spots that stupid, arrogant smirk on the blonde’s face from yards away. The UNC forward takes a few steps back and pauses for a couple of seconds. Josie feels the air of the stadium thicken as she intently watches Dana charge and kick the ball. Josie is so intensely following the ball’s movement that she doesn’t register that the Stanford goalkeeper dove the same direction, promptly stopping the ball from going into goal. </p><p>Josie’s mouth drops, the people around her standing up in awe.</p><p>“Karma really is a bitch!” Lizzie exclaims as she jumps up and screams in glee.</p><p>“Guys, chill! Stanford’s gotta score another one for this to stick!” Rafael calls out. </p><p>“Wait! Is that...Hope?”</p><p>“Holy shit, I’m going to faint.”</p><p>Josie doesn’t know who says what, but she sharply turns her head towards the field and sees that it is indeed Hope who is walking up to the penalty spot to take Stanford’s (hopefully) final penalty kick. Josie suddenly feels nauseous, the cheap stadium pretzel that she ate a half an hour ago threatening to come up. </p><p>She bites at her lip until it bleeds while her foot nervously taps on the floor and her fingers drum against the fabric of her jeans. Almost everybody in her section is standing up in anticipation which does nothing to loosen the knots in her stomach. </p><p>Hope sets the ball down and takes a few steps back, her head down the whole time, refusing to let the UNC goalkeeper get in her head. Josie feels time stop when she watches Hope run towards the ball and shoot. She swears that everything feels like it’s going slow motion when she watches the ball fly to the left side of the goal, the UNC goalkeeper diving the wrong way. </p><p>She doesn’t fully register what happens until she feels Landon grab her by the waist and lift her up, the crowd around her roaring in response to Stanford just winning the College Cup for the second year in a row. Josie is hysterically laughing into Landon’s shoulder while Penelope, Lizzie, MG, and Raf do a combination of hugging each other, jumping up and down, and obnoxiously screaming.</p><p>Once Landon releases her, Josie claps and cheers as she witnesses the Stanford players dogpile on top of Hope. She even sees her dad run up to his team to celebrate and for the first time in a while, she genuinely feels happy for him.</p><p>Josie may not have fulfilled her dream of winning the College Cup this year, but there’s always next year. Besides, seeing Hope’s bright, nose-crinkling smile is enough to tame even the most competitive bone in her body.</p><p>---</p><p>The high of witnessing Stanford win the College Cup doesn’t last long. </p><p>It’s the second week of December which means final exams are looming and Josie is stressed. Despite proving to herself this season that she is a worthy soccer player, her pride doesn’t let her do poorly in school either. She’s made a habit of going to the library at noon and coming back to her dorm room at midnight, only taking breaks when she feels like kicking the ball around for a bit. At times, some of her friends would join her. Most of the time, it’s Landon and Penelope. The Stanford win was enough to break the tension between her and the midfielder, especially once they had enough alcohol in their system during the party at Stanford right after the game to celebrate.</p><p>Josie’s intense study habits start sparking concern in her friends, but she willfully ignores them. She rationalizes that the routine is just temporary and that the long term benefits outweigh her insanely high stress level. Soccer or not, if she’s going to do something, she’s going to do it right. </p><p>Josie’s sitting alone in her favorite on-campus library on a sunny afternoon, her books and papers spread out in front of her, when she senses someone come up to her, the person gently slamming a coffee cup and pastry on the table. </p><p>She’s about to tell this person off for bothering her precious study time, but immediately stops herself when she looks up and sees that it’s Hope. Before she could even say anything, her heart flutters at the sight of her.</p><p>“Okay. At this point, I feel like you’re stalking me,” she teases with a smirk.  </p><p>Hope rolls her eyes before taking a seat across from her. “You wish. Landon thought it’d be fun to study together so he wanted me to come on campus. He’s in office hours right now and I didn’t want to awkwardly sit in.”</p><p>Josie nods in understanding, but she’s still confused. “How’d you know I’m here?” </p><p>“He mentioned that you’ve been studying too hard and pointed out that you’re probably slaving away here, so I thought it’d be nice to get you something to put you at ease,” she shrugs as she grabs the coffee and pastry and moves them closer to Josie. </p><p>Josie feels her cheeks flush at the thought of Hope going out of her way to even do this for her. She just hopes that her friend doesn’t notice how red she is.</p><p>“You really didn’t have to,” Josie insists, happily taking the coffee and pastry anyway. Her mouth waters when she finds that the pastry is a chocolate croissant—her favorite.</p><p>“Right,” Hope chuckles as she watches Josie devour the croissant without hesitation. “Is it okay if I join you for a bit while I wait for Lan?” she hesitantly asks, her eyes hopeful.</p><p>Josie swallows thickly before nodding. “Y-yeah, of course!” she exclaims before hastily cleaning up the mess in front of her to make some space for Hope. </p><p>The Stanford defender gratefully smiles in return before grabbing her laptop from inside her backpack.</p><p>They work quietly for several minutes, Josie taking occasional sips from her coffee cup. Just like the chocolate croissant, Hope managed to get her favorite hot coffee order too: a cortado with oat milk.</p><p>The silence isn’t unpleasant, but it isn’t comfortable either. Josie thinks that it only feels that way on her end because she’s actively been trying to keep her distance, even after the College Cup final. At the after-party at Stanford, she mostly stuck by Penelope and Lizzie and it was really easy to disguise her standoffishness in that environment. However, she doesn’t know what to do in this situation. </p><p>“You’ve been distant,” Hope casually comments as she writes something on her notebook, breaking the silence and catching Josie by surprise.</p><p>Regardless, Josie stands her ground. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>Hope frustratedly sighs in response, setting her pencil down and looking at her. “You are and I don’t like it.”</p><p>Josie doesn’t know what to say to that, so she remains silent and breaks Hope’s stare by mindlessly scrolling on her laptop.</p><p>“Talk to me, Jo. What’s wrong? What did I do?”</p><p>Josie balks upon hearing that. The last thing she wants is to let Hope believe that she did something wrong. She doesn’t understand how much it bothers Hope until she realizes that they’ve had a rocky history mostly consisting of Josie treating her coldly. With that, she knows she can’t keep her act up anymore.</p><p>“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she sighs out as she tiredly rubs her eyes. </p><p>“Then what’s bothering you?” </p><p>“I don-, um, i-it doesn’t matter,” she stutters out, not knowing how to answer. </p><p>She wishes so badly that she could tell Hope that the reason why she hasn’t been acting like herself is because her feelings have been eating her alive, but she can’t.</p><p>“It matters if it’s making you not act like yourself. Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Hope insists, reaching out to grab Josie’s hand. </p><p>It sounds like Hope is begging for her to say it, like she knows what Josie’s thinking. Josie quickly shakes her thoughts as an attempt to stand her ground even though it gets harder and harder for her to do so everyday.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I-I can’t.” </p><p>Hope opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out because her phone loudly vibrates against the table. Josie peeks at the caller ID and sees that it’s Landon. She wants to laugh at how impeccable his timing always is, a consistent reminder that she’s supposed to be looking out for him.</p><p>Hope reluctantly releases her grip on Josie’s hand and answers the phone. “Hey. You’re done? Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you there. Bye.”</p><p>Hope apologetically looks at her, a tinge of annoyance present in the way the crease between her eyebrows deepens. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Josie weakly says, not able to look at Hope in the eye. </p><p>Their conversation was so heavy, yet so empty at the same time. If she were Hope, she’d be unsatisfied and frankly, more uncertain about where they stand now. </p><p>Josie doesn’t acknowledge her, nor does Hope try to, when the latter packs up and leaves. Josie feels like something has just permanently changed between them. </p><p>She tries so hard to focus but her mind keeps drifting to Hope and it makes her uneasy. She decides to give up after trying to concentrate for the next hour, knowing fully well that she’s not going to get any work done for the rest of the day. </p><p>When her walk back to her dorm does nothing to ease her tempestuous thoughts, she decides to put her soccer gear on and head to the field, hoping that it’s enough to put her mind at ease.</p><p>She finishes her stretches and runs several sprints before she decides to head to the bench to grab a drink of water and collect her ball so she can begin doing drills.</p><p>As she squeezes water into her mouth, she grabs her phone to check the time when she sees several text messages and missed calls from Landon. She knits her eyebrows in confusion and opens the messages. They’re no help in giving her information because it’s just Landon telling her to call him as soon as possible. She’s awfully worried at this point, fearing that something bad has happened to not only him, but also Hope who’s supposed to be with him.</p><p>She immediately calls him and it barely rings when he roughly answers with a sniffle.</p><p>“Landon? What happened?” she asks with panicked concern.</p><p>“Hope just broke up with me,” he says, his voice rough around the edges. Josie can immediately tell that he’s been crying.</p><p>“<em>What?</em> Where are you?”</p><p>At this point, she’s really panicking. This is exactly what she feared and it seems that no matter what she did, she wasn’t able to prevent it.</p><p>“I’m back at my apartment,” he solemnly says, his voice wavering.</p><p>“Stay there. I’ll be there soon,” she immediately says before hanging up. </p><p>She barely puts her phone down when someone’s yelling out her name. </p><p>“Josie!”</p><p>Her head snaps up as she frantically looks for the source of the sound. Her heart drops when she recognizes Hope who is marching towards her.</p><p>In that moment, the only thing she feels is anger. She’s angry that Hope broke Landon’s heart. She’s angry that she’s now supposed to pick up the pieces. Finally, she’s angry that she even thought about risking it all and kissing Hope at the hospital when <em>this</em> is the consequence.</p><p>“How could you?!” Josie asks once Hope is standing in front of her, not bothering to hide the hostility in her voice. </p><p>“I had to see you and I had a feeling that you’d be here. I wanted to-”</p><p>“How could you?! How could you do this to him?!” she repeats, not bothering to let Hope finish her thought. </p><p>“Don’t be so dense, Jo. You know exactly why I had to do it,” Hope calmly says, the implication heavily weighing on Josie’s chest.</p><p>“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Josie sputters out, a desperate attempt to keep her resolve from crumbling. She backs away to give herself space to think clearly and breathe.</p><p>“God, Josie! Open your eyes! <em>Why</em> would I be here? Why would <em>you</em> be the first person I wanted to see?” Hope presses as she steps closer to make up for the distance that Josie just made. </p><p>The blurry image that depicts what has been in front of her this whole time is now crystal clear and no matter how hard Josie tries, she can’t unsee it. In another desperate attempt to fortify the walls around her heart that are threatening to collapse, Josie vigorously shakes her head and hastily reasons with Hope. </p><p>“N-no. You can’t do this. I-I won’t allow it. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go! You’re supposed to fall for Landon and I’d be happy for you two and I-”</p><p>Josie abruptly stops when she feels Hope gently grab her face with both of her hands, forcing Josie’s chocolate brown eyes to look right into Hope’s bright blue orbs. Josie barely has time to wonder what shade of blue they would be called because Hope leans forward, their lips meeting in a firm, yet timid kiss, Hope knowing that she’s taking a huge risk by doing this. Instinctively, Josie’s hands wrap around her waist and without hesitating, she kisses Hope back, their lips melodiously moving together while the outside world around them ceases to exist.</p><p>Josie’s resolve completely crumbles. She questions why she tried so hard to prevent this from happening when kissing Hope makes her feel the most alive she’s ever been in her 18 years of life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope the wait was worth it LOL</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey everyone! i've been having pretty bad writer's block lately and didn't know which direction to take this story (i outlined everything up until hope kissing josie on the soccer field with the exception of some scenes that i want to include in later chapters) so i've spent the past few days thinking about it. i usually get chapters out pretty quickly, but this chapter took me a while to write since i kind of lost steam halfway through. the good news is that i have a rough idea of what to do for the next few chapters, but not necessarily the nitty gritty details yet. i really really want to finish this story especially because you guys are giving it so much love, but i just wanted to warn y'all that updates may not come as frequently anymore :/ this might change if i find inspiration for another solid story arc!</p><p>as always, thank you so much for reading and inspiring me to keep writing! it means a lot to me and y'all have no idea how much i really appreciate each and every one of you :')</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie basks in the feeling of Hope’s soft lips pressed on her own and the curve of her spine under her touch, the Stanford defender molding perfectly against her body. Josie’s reasoning is so clouded that she doesn't realize the gravity of her actions until Hope swipes her tongue on her bottom lip to ask for permission to deepen the kiss.</p><p>Josie’s eyes shoot open as she places both hands on Hope’s shoulders and gently pushes her away. The last thing she should be doing is kissing her best friend’s ex-girlfriend. Instead, she should be well on her way to Landon’s apartment to comfort her heartbroken friend. The guilt heavily settles in her stomach like a cinder block sinking to the bottom of a lake. </p><p>“Hope, wait,” she gasps out, still out of breath.</p><p>Hope’s eyes are still closed as she tries to chase after Josie’s lips. She bewilderedly opens them when she is only met with the cold and empty air.</p><p>“What? What’s wrong?” Hope breathes out, her eyes rapidly searching Josie’s. However, Josie doesn’t have it in her to look her in the eye. </p><p>“W-we can’t,” Josie whispers as she wraps her arms around herself, a flimsy replacement for Hope’s warm embrace not even a minute ago. “I have to go,” she mutters as she tries to grab her duffel bag. </p><p>“Where are you going? Stay. Please,” Hope begs as she holds onto Josie’s hand. </p><p>“Landon needs me. I need to fix what you broke.” Josie doesn’t mean for it to sound so pointed, but the words hit Hope close to home nonetheless.</p><p>Hope guiltily looks at her as her grip on her hand loosens. “At least tell me that you want this.” </p><p>Josie looks at Hope incredulously at what seems like indifference to Landon’s broken heart. On the other hand, a voice in the back of her mind keeps nagging at her, reminding her that she wants this <em>so badly</em>; so much that her skin itches for Hope’s touch again and her lips still tingle from kissing her moments ago, remnants of Hope’s strawberry lip gloss sitting on her tongue.</p><p>She quickly shakes off the desire that threatens to fog her reasoning. “It doesn’t matter what I want! I can’t live with myself hurting Landon like this. Does that not matter to you?” </p><p>Hope looks at her in disbelief, like she can’t believe that the brunette would think so poorly of her. </p><p>“Of course it does! But, I couldn’t keep lying to myself, Josie.” The auburn-haired girl quickly takes Josie’s other hand and pulls her closer to her. Somehow, Josie doesn’t resist. “I couldn’t keep leading him on when I have all of these feelings for <em>you</em>,” Hope murmurs as she looks at her with dazed adoration, her hand coming up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Josie’s ear. </p><p>Butterflies invade Josie’s stomach when she revels in Hope’s gaze and hears indisputable proof that Hope feels the same way she does. She almost asks her to say it again just so she can savor the way it makes her feel, but the feeling of triumph and warmth is quickly overpowered by the stone-cold guilt that saturates her whole being. </p><p>“I can’t do this,” she croaks out, like it physically pains for her to say it. She hesitantly releases herself from Hope’s grip, hastily grabs her bag, and storms out of the field.</p><p>It takes so much out of her not to turn around when Hope yells for her to come back.</p><p>By the time Josie arrives at Landon’s apartment, she’s emotionally exhausted. To make matters worse, her eyes probably look puffy and bloodshot from the crying she did during her walk there. She tries wiping the loose tears that have settled on her cheeks and plans on blaming allergies for her red eyes if Landon were to notice. She can’t afford for him to ask questions about why she looks so devastated when he’s the one who just got dumped.</p><p>When she knocks, she barely waits a second before Landon answers the door. She’s ready to ask him if he’s okay but refrains herself because his own red and puffy eyes barely look at her, his lip quivering in despair. As she enters and drops her soccer bag next to the door, he walks to the couch and plops down before grabbing the throw pillow next to him and hugging it tightly to his chest. Josie assumes it’s what he’s been doing the whole time he’s been waiting for her to arrive. She bites her lip at the thought that she would have been there sooner if she hasn’t been kissing Hope. </p><p>After she sits next to him, she soothingly rubs his back to bring him some comfort. “Are you okay, Lan?” </p><p>“I feel like my heart got ripped out of my chest, stomped on, and thrown into the Pacific Ocean.” Landon blankly says as he stares at the TV in front of him. It’s turned off, contributing to the heavy silence that fills the room.</p><p>Josie’s heart hurts upon hearing the pain in his voice. She doesn’t want to know, but she has to ask. “What happened?”</p><p>“I don’t even know where it went wrong!” He exclaims as he throws his hands up in frustration. “We were talking about Christmas and I invited her to come home with me to meet my family when she just shut down.” </p><p>Josie gulps at the revelation knowing fully well that her conversation with Hope in the library was a significant contributing factor to Hope’s unfavorable reaction to Landon’s suggestion. “W-what do you mean?”</p><p>“She said that she doesn’t feel comfortable meeting my family and when I asked her why, she said that she wasn’t confident enough in our relationship to do that,” he recounts as she looks at Josie, his face scrunched in emotional pain. “I asked why she would even say that and she tried brushing it off, but by then I knew that something was off. She couldn’t give me a solid answer to why she felt like our relationship wasn’t working and I was itching for answers. At that point, I just felt so panicked and blindsided that I jumped to conclusions and asked if there was someone else.”</p><p>Josie doesn’t like where this is going, but she doesn’t have a choice but to keep listening to what Landon has to say. It’s what she’s supposed to do, right? </p><p>“W-what did she say?” she asks as she tries her best to keep her voice from shaking.</p><p>“She said that she didn’t deserve to be in a relationship with me and that we should break up,” Landon says, his voice cracking. “By then, I knew.”</p><p>Josie’s heart rapidly beats in her chest as she digests what Landon just shared with her. She was so angry that Hope couldn’t just say no to his stupid question, but deep in her heart, she knows that it would be hard for Hope to lie about her feelings. It’s not like she could do it for long either.</p><p>“She couldn’t tell me who it was,” he adds as he shakes his head. “I didn’t even try to press. I was too hurt.”</p><p>“Oh.” Josie lets out the breath that she didn’t even know she was holding. </p><p>“You guys are close, right? Do you know who it could be?” he asks, his eyes eager and hopeful for answers.</p><p>The temporary relief that Josie felt instantaneously vanishes and guilt thickly coats her throat like concrete. Josie tries to open her mouth, but no words come out. Landon’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion at her inability to answer and because of that, her mind reels as she desperately tries to think of something to say to curb his curiosity. However, it’s too late because realization crosses Landon’s face, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping in shock.</p><p>“<em>You</em>,” he hotly accuses as he shoots up from his seat.</p><p>Josie’s heart drops to her feet as she stands up and tries to mitigate Landon’s brewing anger. “Landon…”</p><p>“God, I’m so fucking stupid!” he declares as he roughly runs his hands through his hair. “I should’ve known! The two of you have gotten so close that she knows about your dad, she’s been distancing herself the past few weeks, and she talks about you all the time. I was so fucking oblivious to think that she was doing it to get closer to me, but no! She has feelings for <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Landon says the last part so sharply that Josie flinches.</p><p>“Landon, calm down,” she steadily says as she uses her hands to signal him to settle down. The action does the opposite because Landon pointedly looks at her, his face scrunched in despair.  </p><p>“Tell me. Do you have feelings for her, too?” </p><p>Josie gulps, her heart thudding so loudly in her chest that it makes her hearing seem fuzzy and muffled. “I-”</p><p>“<em>Do you</em>?”</p><p>“Yes. I do,” she finally reveals, her voice cracking towards the end. She couldn’t find it in herself to lie to Landon. She knows that those words may have just ruined their friendship, but it’s an awful lot better than having the guilt of lying to him eating away at her. She knows how unpleasant and overwhelming it is, considering she’s hid this from him for weeks. To add insult to injury, residual guilt still gnaws on her insides as she holds onto the fact that her and Hope kissed not even an hour ago. But how is she supposed to tell Landon that when he’s already hurt and seething with anger?</p><p>“I can’t fucking believe you,” he spits out. Josie cowers at the pure look of disgust on his face. </p><p>“Landon, let me explain,” Josie pleads. </p><p>“What is there to explain?! If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have tried so fucking hard for you to be friends with her.”</p><p>Josie flinches yet again. “You don’t mean that.”</p><p>“Don’t act like you know how I feel,” he jabbed, an accusing finger pointed right at her. </p><p>“I swear, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But I can’t help how I feel! I’ve tried so hard to repress my feelings because I knew how happy she made you. Please, just hear my side of the story,” she pleads once again.</p><p>“Oh, you want me to hear your side of the story? Okay! Then answer this: have you kissed her?” he mockingly asks as he sits down and intently looks at Josie as he waits for an answer.</p><p>Josie feels all of the blood drain from her face. She doesn’t need to answer because judging by the guilty look on her face, Landon figures it out himself.</p><p>His face twists in sorrow upon realizing Josie’s betrayal. “Unbelievable.”</p><p>“I swear, Hope didn’t cheat on you. It happened right after you guys broke up. I was training and she just showed up and I didn’t expect it and it jus-it just happened,” she desperately tries to explain as she sits next to him. She expects him to scoot away or stand up, or <em>something</em>, but he merely looks at her with an eerily blank expression. </p><p>“That doesn’t make it any better,” he bitterly spits out. He takes a deep breath then shakes his head. “Leave.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Josie, please. Leave,” he weakly begs as he focuses his attention on the pillow on his lap. Josie expected for him to explode or shout in anger, but he just sounded defeated. Somehow, she thinks that’s worse.</p><p>Tears line her eyes when she hesitantly gets up and grabs her bag. Before she turns the doorknob to open the door and leave, she looks back and sees Landon hunched over, his face buried in his hands, her heart breaking at the sight. </p><p>When she finally walks out, she wonders how everything in her life has suddenly turned on its head. Despite the grave consequences, she feels lighter now that her secrets are out in the open. However, the greatest guilt that she holds onto is that even after witnessing how this whole situation broke Landon’s heart and possibly shattered their friendship beyond repair, she still craves to kiss Hope again, and she hates herself for it.</p><p>---</p><p>The weeks following her kiss with Hope and consequential fight with Landon, Josie felt like she was a zombie that was just going through the motions. She barely remembers taking her finals, but her grades thankfully didn’t take too damaging of a hit despite the emotional turmoil that she was experiencing. </p><p>Josie wasn’t planning on telling anyone about what happened since she didn’t really want to talk about it, but considering that Landon is part of her friend group, word quickly spread among them about Landon and Hope’s break up. Of course, it came as a shock to everyone, with the exception of Penelope who knew Hope carried a torch for Josie this whole time. To add, Landon’s sudden hatred for Josie was hard to explain without telling everyone the truth, so she can only assume that Landon eventually revealed the real reason why he and Hope broke up. Judging by the way Rafael suddenly gave her the cold shoulder, she knows that Landon went through every excruciating detail of their painful conversation at his apartment. MG, being the nice guy he is, still talks to her, but tries to tread lightly since his allegiance is understandably split between her and Landon. </p><p>Lizzie has and always will take her side, a fact that Josie is extremely grateful for. Her sister also knows about her dilemma, considering that she’s the first person Josie turned to when she first realized how serious her feelings for Hope were. Despite that, Josie shuts down every time Lizzie attempts to talk to her about what happened. </p><p>Of course, Penelope never really cared for anyone in the group except for Josie. Yes, they used to be friends with benefits, and yes, it was fun, but at the end of the day, Josie is her best friend and she cares for the forward a lot, more than she’s cared for anyone for that matter. When she first heard about the fallout from MG, she knew exactly what Josie was thinking and made it a point to talk to her. However, her crude and brutally honest tactics were no match for Josie’s stubbornness. </p><p>When it came to Hope, Josie’s hard and unwavering exterior threatened to collapse. The auburn-haired girl wouldn’t quit contacting her, leaving numerous missed calls, voicemails, and text messages pleading for them to talk. Josie almost gave into her desires when she received a series of text messages while she was packing her suitcase for her flight to go home to Mystic Falls for winter break the next day.</p><p><em><strong>9:42 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: i know that this might just be the 100th text message that i’m sending you, but i don’t care. can we please talk before you leave?<br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: i miss you so much and it’s only been a week.</p><p>Despite the mental anguish that she’s been experiencing as a direct result of her significant role in Hope and Landon’s break up, her stomach still flips upon reading Hope’s affectionate message. She suddenly feels hot, like every single nerve on her body is on fire. She can’t completely fathom Hope’s effect on her because if this is how her body reacts to one measly text message, what’s going to happen if she were to face Hope in-person again? </p><p>She tries so hard to exit out of the messaging app, lock her phone, and proceed with the task at hand like nothing was wrong, but she couldn’t. The tips of her fingers tingle, like they’re urging for her to reply, so without thinking, she does.</p><p><em><strong>9:45 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: i miss you too.</p><p>Josie sucks in a harsh breath when she realizes what she’s done. This is the first time she’s replied to Hope since that special moment they shared at the field a week ago. Her fingers rapidly move to type out another message.</p><p><em><strong>9:46 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Josie</strong>: but i don’t deserve this. i don’t deserve you. please understand that.</p><p>In a perfect world, she would run into Hope’s arms without thinking. Why wouldn’t she when she shares a strong and undeniable connection with a person who has changed the way she looked at the world? The only person who was able to convince her to let go of the bitterness that she held onto regarding her injury? The only person who showed her that she wasn’t only good enough, but beyond what her father deserves? The only person who can light her skin on fire with one measly touch? But this world is nowhere near perfect. In this world, she broke her best friend beyond repair and because of that, she feels dirty and tainted whenever she so little as thinks about Hope. She’s convinced that she’s a bad person considering that she’s hurt Hope for years, and now she’s hurt Landon, too. She doesn’t deserve to win in this situation when he’s done nothing wrong. She likes to think that despite every shitty thing she’s done, she’s better than that. </p><p>Maybe, just maybe, this is her first step towards redemption.</p><p>Josie doesn’t bother reading Hope’s reply. She locks her phone, throws it on her bed, and continues packing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm so sorry, but it'll get better i promise!</p><p>side note: i changed the tag from slow(ish) burn to slow burn for obvious reasons</p><p>don't hate me please lolol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello lovely readers! i figured out my shit for this chapter so i cracked open a few white claws and wrote 'til i couldn't anymore and here is the result!</p><p>also, i wasn't planning on revealing hope's reply from last chapter because i didn't think it was that important, but a few of you were wondering what it said so i inserted it in there. i think it turned out really well too :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie tries her very best to enjoy Christmas with her family. It was decided that Caroline and Stefan would be hosting their celebration that year and as a result, their house was packed with extended family from both sides. Among them was Stefan’s brother, Damon, who brought his wife, Elena, and their 6 year old daughter, Stephanie, who Josie loved to play with. It was chaotic to say the least, but Josie wasn’t exactly complaining. It was a welcome distraction from the mess that she left back in California anyway.</p><p>To add, her dad seemed to have taken the hint from Thanksgiving and didn’t make any surprise visits, much to her relief. She didn’t want to deal with that on top of the tumultuous thoughts that crept up on her whenever things around her calmed down or she let herself relax too much. Her dad also reminds her of Hope, and that’s definitely someone she did <em>not</em> want to think about, no matter how much she craved the auburn-haired girl's presence all the time. </p><p>Well, that is until her family decides to interrogate her about her love life. </p><p>They’re well into Christmas dinner and Josie’s two glasses of red wine in, her mind buzzing a little from the alcohol, when their grandmother gets a little too curious.</p><p>“Elizabeth, I know you’ve been busy with volleyball and all, but have you found a nice and smart boy at Berkeley yet?” Elizabeth Forbes asks with a peculiar twinkle in her eye. </p><p>Josie looks over at Lizzie amusedly, knowing fully well that her sister’s hooked up with her fair share of boys during their first semester at Berkeley.</p><p>The blonde blushes furiously at the question as she shyly moves her mashed potatoes around with her fork. “Um, I started seeing this guy shortly before break. His name’s Sebastian. He’s a lacrosse player from England.”</p><p>Josie’s eyes widen at the revelation, not aware that her sister has started seeing someone. It must be serious if she’s so willing to share it with their grandmother along with the rest of their damn family.</p><p>She glares at Lizzie who simply gives her an apologetic look that silently tells her that she’ll spill everything later. She nods and mouths <em>you better</em>.</p><p>Their grandmother seems to take the news extremely well, considering that she’s clapping with joy and asking intrusive and embarrassing questions that Lizzie answers as vaguely as possible, wanting to preserve her privacy. It’s extremely entertaining seeing Lizzie squirm though, so Josie can’t even be mad that her sister kept this from her. </p><p>Apparently, Lizzie met Sebastian when she was running late for an exam and forgot to buy an exam booklet and rushed to the bookstore to buy one. She was in line when she realized that she had forgotten her wallet and was borderline going to have an anxiety attack when this boy behind her offered to pay for it, single-handedly saving her grade in that class. She offered to buy him lunch in return and from then on, the dates never stopped. It was cute, really. Everyone at the dinner table swooned.</p><p>“What about you, Josette? Any special girl or boy in your life?” her grandmother shifts her attention on her with a sweet smile. Josie was way too naive to think that she could get away with not having to answer such a question.</p><p>She chokes on her wine in surprise and Lizzie’s looking at her amused, but also concerned. The rest of her family are mostly just confused.</p><p>“Um, uh, n-no! I’ve just been busy with soccer, that’s all. National team duties are pretty demanding and all,” she stammers out with a nervous smile. She was hoping that the mention of the national team would distract her grandmother enough to shift the conversation to that instead of this increasingly painful reminiscence of her love life.</p><p>“What about Penelope?” Caroline pipes in, causing Josie’s eyes to bulge out so much that she feels like they’re going to fall out of her head.</p><p>“Mom! Where did you hear that?” she incredulously asks her mother with a pointed glare.</p><p>Caroline quickly holds her hands up in defense. “Lizzie told me you were seeing her back in August! I thought she was your girlfriend!” </p><p>“Lizzie! What the hell?” she asks her sister with an exasperated look. She’s going to kill her for gossiping to their mother about her love life. Lizzie merely gives her a sheepish smile in return.</p><p>“Okay, everybody calm down,” Elizabeth Forbes says with a hearty chuckle. Well, at least her grandmother thinks this is entertaining. “Who is this Penelope girl, Josie?”</p><p>“She’s just a friend, grandma. We had, uh, a thing. But it ended after Thanksgiving.” She didn’t know how to explain to her grandmother that her relationship with Penelope was merely a friends with benefits arrangement. Not to mention, little Stephanie Salvatore was intently listening to her, so she had no choice but to keep everything family-friendly.</p><p>“Aw, that’s too bad. Why did it end?” </p><p>“Okay, grandma, I think you’ve had a lot of wine,” Lizzie cuts in, knowing that the conversation is taking a turn that wouldn’t benefit Josie at all.</p><p>Josie seems to have had a lot of wine too because she answers the question anyway. “Things got complicated,” she solemnly says, the statement having a much larger underlying significance. How was she supposed to explain to her family that she caught feelings for her supposed best friend’s girlfriend and was pretty much the main reason why they broke up? It’s shameful behavior, really.</p><p>Unfortunately, this seemingly innocent conversation with her grandmother was enough to trigger the exact thing she’s been trying to distract herself from. Suddenly, she’s wondering how Hope’s Christmas in New Orleans is doing. She knows about Hope’s complicated relationship with her father and can’t help but ponder if he’s giving her the attention she deserves during this time. Lastly, she can only wish that Hope’s not as miserable as she is during this supposedly joyous holiday. Just the thought that she would be the reason why Hope would even be miserable is enough to send a dagger through her heart. </p><p>Suddenly, she doesn’t feel too great.</p><p>“Um, I don’t feel well. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going upstairs to my room. Maybe a nap will make me feel better,” she mutters as she stands up and avoids everyone’s concerned gaze. Lizzie has a sharp frown on her face and Josie knows that her sister wants to follow her so they could talk. She subtly shakes her head at her, hoping that it’s enough to stop her from doing so. She doesn’t really want to talk about it.</p><p>Thankfully, Lizzie doesn’t follow her.</p><p>When Josie plops onto her bed, she feels so agitated that she decides to go on her phone to find something that could distract herself from her misery. She received a few messages from her friends and teammates greeting her a Merry Christmas and she decides that it would be a good idea to spread the love and reply to them. Of course, Hope didn’t fail to send her one too. Josie opens their conversation thread first just to quell her racing thoughts when she realizes that she never read Hope’s reply to her message several days ago.</p><p><em><strong>December 22, 9:56 PM</strong></em><br/>
<strong>Hope</strong>: i wish you could see that you deserve everything good in the world.</p><p>---</p><p>Other than the poorly-timed conversation at the dinner table during Christmas, the rest of Josie’s break was uneventful. Well, until she received her second call-up for winter training from Coach Vardemus while in the middle of buying New Years decorations with her sister.</p><p>When Josie broke the news, Lizzie screeched in excitement as she tackled Josie in a huge hug right in the middle of the party section of the store, earning a few dirty looks from the customers around them. They didn’t really care though. Nothing could ruin the moment for her. It may have been Josie’s second call-up, but the rush of adrenaline that she felt was just as euphoric as the first. </p><p>They were walking back to the car when Josie’s phone rang again, the caller ID indicating that it was Penelope.</p><p>“Hello?” Josie asked, a bit concerned. Penelope almost never calls her.</p><p>“Am I going crazy, or did a quirky British man just call to tell me I’m going to camp in 2 weeks?”</p><p>“<em>Holy shit</em>.” </p><p>Josie’s glad that she had something to look forward to, making the rest of her winter break bearable and even enjoyable. Her New Years Eve was wholesome for the most part, her and Lizzie opting to celebrate it with some old high school friends and light drinking, thankfully with no Dana in sight.</p><p>She knew that going to camp also meant that Hope is going to be there, but she’s known all this time that the competitive soccer world isn’t exactly conducive to avoiding Hope. Josie wants to bitterly laugh at how much everything about her relationship with the Stanford defender has changed from her first training camp in November to now. Though this time, she’s aiming to keep a low profile and move through camp as seamlessly as possible. Besides, she’s glad that Penelope is going to be there to keep her anchored.</p><p>When she gets to Tampa, she finds that her roommate is thankfully not Hope, but Jade, who she finds lounging on her bed with sweatpants and a sports bra on. </p><p>The blonde merely smirks at her when she first enters the room and Josie gulps at how awkward it is, considering she doesn’t remember making out with her back in November.</p><p>“Well, this is gonna be fun,” the blonde playfully quips as she sits up and settles on the edge of her bed.</p><p>“Uh,” Josie stutters out as she’s stood frozen by the door.</p><p>“I’m just playing with you, Saltzman. Hope told me you don’t remember a thing,” Jade laughs.</p><p>Josie releases the breath she’s been holding and nervously chuckles in return. She rolls her luggage further into the room and places it by the foot of her own bed. </p><p>“That’s too bad, though. I had fun,” she adds as an afterthought. Josie chooses to ignore her. Even talking about this makes her skin crawl. She feels like she’s betraying Hope which is ridiculous because they’re <em>barely</em> anything. </p><p>She thinks it’s in her best interest to remain friendly, though. It’s never a bad idea to build off-the-field chemistry with her teammates, especially ones she doesn’t regularly play with. “I’m going down the hall to meet with my teammate from Cal. Do you want to come with me?”</p><p>“Sure. I’m bored anyway,” the blonde shrugs as she grabs a Penn State women’s soccer shirt from her suitcase and puts it on. </p><p>When Josie knocks on Penelope’s door, it takes a while for someone to answer. She’s about to bang on the door harder just to piss Penelope off when someone finally opens up. She expects her Cal teammate’s infuriating smirk to be the first thing she sees, but instead, she’s face-to-face with Hope after a month without seeing her. In an instant, her mouth dries and her skin prickles as she suddenly fights the urge to reach out and touch the girl in front of her. </p><p>“Hope,” she acknowledges, her name effortlessly rolling off her tongue. </p><p>“Josie,” Hope breathes out in return like she hasn’t said her name in years. Her eyes then focus on the person behind her and they narrow when they see that it’s Jade. </p><p>“Um, this is Penelope’s room too, right? If she’s not here, we can come back.” </p><p>Hope still seems dazed but she quickly shakes herself back to reality. “Uh, yeah, she was wearing her headphones while unpacking her suitcase. That’s probably why she didn’t hear you knock.” </p><p>Hope opens the door wider and lets both of the girls in. “So, I’m assuming Jade’s your roommate?” she casually asks Josie.</p><p>Penelope waves at her from her spot on the floor by her luggage, an amused expression on her face.</p><p>“Yeah, funny right?” Jade playfully chimes in with a light chuckle.</p><p>It’s then that Josie realizes that she’s standing in the same room as every girl she’s kissed during the fall semester. She immediately feels blood rush to her cheeks as she fights the urge to crawl under a rock and disappear forever. It seems like Hope realizes this unfortunate fact too because she glances between the three of them before glaring at Josie with a frown so deep that it looks like a permanent fixture on her face.</p><p>Penelope seems to sense the heavy tension in the room because she stands up and sticks her hand out for Jade to take.</p><p>“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Penelope, Josie’s teammate at Cal.”</p><p>“Well, hello. I’m Jade,” Jade greets with a smirk, a teasing lilt in her voice. “I haven’t seen you around. You new?”</p><p>Penelope amusedly raises her eyebrows but plays along anyway. “Yup, first call-up.”</p><p>Josie rolls her eyes at the exchange, not surprised that of all people, Penelope and Jade are already flirting within the first 10 seconds of meeting each other. </p><p>She doesn’t have a chance to continue listening in on their conversation because Hope delicately touches her wrist to grab her attention. Josie feels a familiar burn on the spot that Hope just touched and she closes her eyes for a second to savor the way it makes her feel. The last time Hope touched her like this was when they kissed on the soccer field a month ago and at the moment, she is admittedly touch-starved.</p><p>“Can we talk?” Hope gently asks, not wanting to possibly set Josie off and have her push her away again.</p><p>“Hope,” she warns, not thinking that it’s a good idea. </p><p>“Come on, Jo. We can’t ignore each other for 10 days,” she urges. Apparently, Penelope hears because she swiftly cuts in.</p><p>“Jade’s gonna go introduce me to the rest of the girls,” she announces, interrupting their increasingly tense exchange.</p><p>“I am?” the blonde confusedly asks. </p><p>“Yes, you are. Let’s go,” Penelope confirms as she grabs Jade’s hand and quickly leads them out. Josie has no time to protest because in a flash, the door closes and her and Hope are the only ones left in the room. Josie makes a mental note to kill Penelope for this later.</p><p>Josie turns around and finds Hope sitting on the edge of her bed, biting her lip in thought.</p><p>“Hi,” the auburn-haired girl timidly says with a small smile.</p><p>Josie finds it adorable and her heart involuntary flutters, a shy smile creeping up her face. “Hi.”</p><p>“How was your break?”</p><p>“Um, it was good,” Josie vaguely replies. She was miserable for most of it, but she wasn’t going to admit that to Hope. “What about you?”</p><p>“It was okay. Could be better.”</p><p>“Oh.” Josie deflates. “Is your dad doing okay?”</p><p>“He’s fine. My whole family is, really. It was nice to see them again.” </p><p>Josie simply nods in return, relieved that Hope had a seemingly normal Christmas, especially considering her tragic familial history. </p><p>“I missed you.”</p><p>Josie stands frozen by the door. Reading it on a phone screen was one thing, but hearing those words in person makes her heart thump and her ears ring. </p><p>“I-I missed you too,” she replies with a sheepish smile. It was pointless for her to deny that. She’s glad she said it too because Hope’s face instantly brightens, a perfect smile adorning her face. </p><p>“At least come over here so we can have a proper conversation,” Hope suggests with a small laugh as she pats the spot next to her.</p><p>Josie hesitantly walks over to sit next to Hope. It’s probably not a good idea being in such close proximity to her, but she’s certain that she looks like a dumbass standing by the door like she’s ready to flee. </p><p>They both sit in silence for a few moments, Hope nervously twisting the ring on her middle finger. Josie notices the M that is engraved in the center of the silver metal before deciding to finally say something to break the silence.</p><p>“I’m sorry for avoiding you. Everything with Landon has just been really hard and I didn’t know how to deal with it and I-”</p><p>“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself,” Hope brushes her off as she grabs Josie’s hand to comfort her. </p><p>Josie gulps as she basks in Hope’s touch. “But it’s not okay. I hurt you. I know that. I was just too much of a coward to face you.”</p><p>“But I also know how hard this has been for you and I understand that I put you in a tough position and I’m sorry for that,” Hope interjects without second thought.</p><p>Josie looks at her incredulously like she’s grown a another head. “The last thing you should be doing is apologizing.”</p><p>“Well, you shouldn’t be beating yourself up and taking all the blame when I’m at fault, too.”</p><p>“That’s not-”</p><p>“It is, Josie. I shouldn’t have kissed you right after breaking up with Landon.”</p><p>Josie’s heart drops hearing that Hope may have regretted kissing her. She knows she doesn’t have a right to feel that way, seeing that she pushed Hope away the second she pulled away, but that doesn’t stop Hope’s words from piercing through her heart. Nonetheless, the auburn-haired girl seems to have read her mind.</p><p>“I don’t regret kissing you. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it so soon, but I’m not going to apologize for actually doing it.” Hope’s eyes bore into Josie’s. “I would do it again if given the chance,” she whispers so softly that it’s almost indiscernible, but Josie hears her loud and clear.</p><p>It is then that she notices how painfully close Hope is to her. They’re so close that she feels Hope’s steady breaths skimming her cheeks. If she were to lean in just a smidge, she’d have those soft lips pressed onto hers again. </p><p>Hope’s eyes flicker down to her lips and with that, Josie knows the other girl is thinking about the same thing.</p><p>Josie slightly turns her head away to rid herself of the temptation, her heart beating rapidly from such an intimately charged moment. “Hope, I-”</p><p>“I know what you’re going to say. I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do,” Hope sighs out as she lets go of Josie’s hand and shifts her attention to twisting her ring again. “I’ll admit that I didn’t really get it in the beginning, but I thought about you a lot during break and not knowing where we stood absolutely killed me.” She pauses to look at Josie again, the brunette just noticing how tired Hope looks. “It still does.” </p><p>Josie’s heart splits into two as she imagines a contemplative and solemn Hope on Christmas day. She was hoping for Hope to just forget about her. She’s not worth being upset over especially when she hurt her by pushing her away. </p><p>“I’m sorry. That’s the last thing I wanted.”</p><p> “I know and it’s okay.” Hope offers her a sad smile. Josie thinks it’s supposed to comfort her, but it does the opposite. “I want you in my life, so can we at least move forward and be friends?” </p><p>Josie thinks about how bad of an idea that would be. She doesn’t know if she can handle having Hope but not really <em>having</em> her at the same time. However, she also can’t handle being the reason why Hope is so unhappy and she can’t ignore how miserable she was during break when she didn’t have the luxury to just talk to Hope whenever she wanted to. If Hope wants to be friends, then she’ll give that to her. Besides, the selfish part of herself wants it, too.</p><p>“Yes, I want that. I want to be friends.”</p><p>Josie ignores how unnatural the word feels as it rolls off of her tongue. Deep in her heart, she knows that her and Hope aren’t just meant to be friends. But maybe, in this world, that’s exactly what they're supposed to be.</p><p>---</p><p>The first half of camp went by smoothly, much to Josie’s relief. It’s exactly what she needed after the mess that occured in Chicago. Dana seems to have stayed out of her way for the most part, the blonde mostly sticking to her little group while Josie did the same with Penelope, Maya, Jade, and of course, Hope.</p><p>Penelope has adapted well to the rest of the team, more than Josie did during her first training camp, and she isn’t really surprised. Her Cal teammate is easy to get along with and her “take-no-shit” attitude definitely prevents her from getting picked on, regardless of how new she is to the roster. Josie likes to think that it’s another reason why Dana’s left her alone. </p><p>Having Penelope in training did wonders for Josie’s performance on the field. Since they’ve played alongside each other for an entire collegiate season already and they’re such good friends off the field, their forward-midfielder connection was formidable. Of course, this on-field chemistry was strong, but still no match for the one Josie shared with Hope. Despite the bumps in their relationship during the past few months, Hope can still read Josie like the back of her hand, Josie thoroughly enjoying the comfortable familiarity that comes with playing with Hope. It might just be her favorite part about playing soccer and that’s saying a lot considering her life revolves around the damn sport.</p><p>When Josie, Penelope, and Hope are placed in a team together by chance, you might as well start planning their poor opponent’s funeral. As a result, they’ve been standing out during practice which could only benefit their chances of starting and getting called-up to future camps.</p><p>Off the field, Hope and Josie are...okay. They still eat their meals and do their post-practice ice baths together. They even do their daily coffee runs, exploring a new coffee shop and trying new drinks, every morning before practice. But Josie can’t help but feel like something’s changed. There’s more silence between them when their conversations die down. That space between their dialogue used to be filled with laughter and playful banter but now, it's just filled with a deep and uncanny stillness that makes Josie’s stomach turn. Maybe she’s just overthinking everything, but she wants nothing more than to have everything go back to normal—back when she was ignorant of her feelings and she enjoyed Hope’s presence as a friend. Because that’s what’s best for both of them, right?</p><p>Halfway through camp, Coach Vardemus and the rest of the training staff decided to give the team a day off to provide them a moment to recover from the intense training regimen that they’ve been partaking in. In the training staff’s eyes, this meant relaxing by the pool or exploring Tampa. However, some girls on the team had other plans in mind. Word quickly spread around that a few girls were planning on doing a wine night in one of the hotel rooms. Josie didn’t really feel like going, but having Penelope as her best friend and Jade as her roommate made it very difficult for her to socially isolate.</p><p>“Okay, girlies! We’ve got the goods,” Dana announces as she and a few other girls walk in with several bottles of wine. </p><p>Josie rolls her eyes at her high school teammate’s overbearing peppiness. She didn’t really mind it a few years ago, but now that she knows that Dana’s a raging sociopath, her perspective of her has definitely changed. Nonetheless, she grabs a paper cup filled with cheap Merlot anyway.</p><p>“Drinking’s fun and all, but we should also do something else,” Jade boredly chimes in from next to her as she swirls the wine in her own cup.</p><p>“How about truth or dare?” Dana suggests with a devilish smirk. Again, Josie rolls her eyes at such a juvenile suggestion. </p><p>“Okay calm down, Barbie. What are we, middle schoolers?” Penelope deadpans, earning a snicker from Josie. Dana glares at her and Josie narrows her eyes to challenge her back.</p><p>“I’m kind of down. A throwback of sorts,” Jade shrugs. A considerable number of girls mumble in agreement. Hope is sitting across from her wearing a small frown on her face, but that’s how she’s been this whole training camp so far, so Josie just ignores it.</p><p>Dana pompously huffs in response, seeing that her suggestion was taken pretty well by the group. Penelope merely scoffs in response and takes a sip of wine. Josie’s lips quirk up at Penelope’s indifference to Dana. She wants to buy her dinner for a week for giving Dana such a hard time. </p><p>“Okay, well who wants to start?” Dana asks the group, her signature smirk appearing on her face once again.</p><p>The first few rounds went by pretty quickly, Josie learning an awful lot about her teammates through the incriminating “truth” questions. Penelope unfortunately had to fess up to sleeping with Josie in the past, earning many audible gasps from the group and a very unhappy Hope who chugged her drink and quickly asked for a refill. Josie heavily sighed and shot her an apologetic look from her spot on the floor only to be brushed off by Hope who refused to look at her. </p><p>On the other hand, she’s thoroughly entertained by the creative dares that people have come up with. She witnessed Maya prank call her boyfriend at Stanford to tell him she’s pregnant, watched Alyssa dump ice down her pants, and even saw Dana drink an ungodly concoction of wine, coffee, and ketchup. That last one beat the others for obvious reasons. </p><p>However, things get a little too real when it’s Jade’s turn to go.</p><p>“Okay, Jade. Truth or dare?” Alyssa asks the blonde next to her.</p><p>“Dare, duh,” Jade quickly answers. Josie supposes she’s the type of person to pick dare all the time.</p><p>“Okay, I dare you to kiss whoever you want in this room.” </p><p>Josie giggles at the dare, thinking that it’s probably the best one yet. She was almost 100% sure that she was going to witness Jade and Penelope finally kiss, the two of them shamelessly flirting the whole time they’ve been at camp. </p><p>She is proven very wrong when she suddenly feels Jade place her hand on her cheek and turn her head towards her, her roommate’s chapped lips meeting her own not even a second later.</p><p>Josie’s too shocked to move away, but when she finally comes to her senses, she quickly pulls back.</p><p>“Why did you do that?” she breathes out, her eyes wide in a panic.</p><p>“Thought it’d make you remember,” Jade shrugs before she turns away and takes another sip of wine. </p><p>Josie’s mind reels as she looks around the room to locate Hope, the other girl undoubtedly witnessing what just happened. When she meets her eyes, they’re dark and cold, her jaw stiffly set. Hope shakes her head at her before standing up, unintentionally grabbing everyone’s attention.</p><p>“I’m going to bed,” she roughly announces to curb their curiosity before storming out of the room. </p><p>Josie stands up and follows her without thinking, ignoring Penelope calling for her to come back and Jade’s confused “Where are you going?”</p><p>When Josie steps into the hallway and the door behind her shuts, she sees Hope speed walking her way to her room.</p><p>“Hope! Wait!” she yells out as she jogs after her.</p><p>Hope ignores her when she gets to her door and moves to insert her key card into the lock. Josie’s quick to grab her wrist to stop her from doing so.</p><p>Josie is ready to explain herself and reassure her that she didn’t want to kiss Jade when Hope explodes.</p><p>“I know, okay? I don’t have a right to be mad.”</p><p>“That’s not-”</p><p>“We’re just friends. You can kiss whoever you want.”</p><p>“I swear, I didn’t even expect it. I thought she was gonna kiss Penelope! You’ve seen how they’ve been flirting!” she exclaims with a desperation that’s entirely new. “She just leaned in. I would never do that to you. You know how I feel about you.”</p><p>Hope scoffs, her blue irises ablaze. “How you feel about me doesn’t seem to be enough for you, Josie!”</p><p>Josie’s stomach drops at Hope’s sharp words that finally address the elephant in the room. She doesn’t know what to say. She can’t formulate the correct array of words that would make Hope feel better because she can’t offer her what she really wants. Consequently, she only says what she can. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Hope bitterly laughs as she shakes her head. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one a lot.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Just let me go, okay? I need some space.”</p><p>Josie hesitantly loosens her grip on Hope’s wrist and takes a step back, giving the other girl space to unlock her door.</p><p>When the door shuts on her face, she bitterly scoffs at herself, amazed that she has managed to mess up and hurt Hope yet again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>everybody pray for josie because she's being such a useless pansexual</p><p>let's also give it up for jealous hope lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! i've got a new chapter for ya. the POVs shift between hope and josie in this one. i wanted to capture what hope’s thinking about all of this too.</p><p>enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Proposing to be friends was a concept that Hope scrutinized for weeks during winter break. She was aware of how hard it would be for her to remain friends with Josie while ignoring the intense longing in her heart. Despite that, she ultimately concluded that she wanted Josie in her life in any form that she could have her. They’ve come a long way from their icy rivalry in high school, to the two years that Josie despised her, to where they are in the present. </p><p>Josie has slowly but surely become her rock, for Hope has bared her tragic family past and the current pressures that she faces on a daily basis as the daughter of a prominent and influential business figure during their deep, emotionally-charged conversations the past few months. </p><p>Josie doesn’t just know her as <em>Hope Mikaelson: top-ranked collegiate defender in the U.S. and daughter of CEO Klaus Mikaelson</em>. Josie also knows her as Hope: a 19 year old girl from New Orleans who hates brussel sprouts, bakes a heavenly banana cream pie, prefers using oil paints over acrylics, and wears the number 6 in honor of her mom. They’ve formed a deep and profound connection that transcends any relationship or friendship she’s ever been a part of and it wasn’t worth it for her to lose that all of a sudden.</p><p>However, in moments like these, where her heart aches at the very thought of Josie kissing someone else, she wonders if it really is worth it.</p><p>When Hope wakes up the next morning, a dull throb in her head from all of  the wine that she consumed and the emotional exhaustion that she experienced the night before, her roommate is wide awake and prancing around their room like everything is fine and dandy.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Hope roughly asks as she sits up, her voice still raspy from just waking up.</p><p>“Packing for the team beach trip, duh,” Penelope mindlessly replies as she places a bottle of sunscreen in her day bag. </p><p>When Penelope finally notices Hope’s haggard state, she briefly stops what she’s doing.</p><p>“Well, you look like shit,” she dryly points out as she quirks an eyebrow. </p><p>Hope rolls her eyes at Penelope’s unyielding bluntness. It’s expected, but she isn’t in the right state of mind to deal with it.</p><p>“Yeah, well I had a rough night,” Hope shoots back with a slight bite. </p><p>“I know. I was there and I saw it all,” Penelope deadpans with an amused look on her face.</p><p>Hope huffs, her eyebrows scrunching in annoyance. “Glad to know that was entertaining for you.”</p><p>Penelope sighs and sits on the edge of her bed, her gaze fixed on Hope. “No, it actually wasn’t. Josie never came back to finish the game. I’m assuming she just went back into her room, seeing as she’s not here.” </p><p>Hope instantly blushes at Penelope’s implication.</p><p>“It physically pains me seeing the two of you do this to yourselves,” her roommate responds with a shake of her head.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Hope asks, taken aback. </p><p>“Have you seen yourself? You’re as red as a tomato and all I did was hint that Josie would’ve stayed the night if the two of you properly made up last night, which you obviously didn’t.”</p><p>The comment makes Hope’s face heat up even more. “We’re just friends.”</p><p>Penelope instantly rolls her eyes at the mention of such an egregious lie. “Yeah, and Josie and I never fucked.”</p><p>Hope immediately feels a familiar jealousy bubble up inside of her. It’s very reminiscent of how she’s felt throughout camp every time she was reminded of Josie and Penelope’s past relationship or thought about Jade being Josie’s roommate. The current intensity of this jealousy matches last night’s.</p><p>Apparently, she wasn’t able to effectively disguise the green-eyed monster because it blatantly shows on her face and Penelope immediately notices.</p><p>“Okay, calm down. You’re only proving my point.” </p><p>Hope glares at her in response. Penelope really is difficult to deal with. </p><p>“You do know that she ended it after Thanksgiving, right?” Penelope adds.</p><p>Hope raises her eyebrows in surprise. “She did?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she realized how much she liked you and thought that continuing our little arrangement felt like cheating or whatever,” she listlessly explains like it’s no big deal.</p><p>Hope’s stomach flips as Penelope reveals the reason why her friends with benefits agreement with Josie ended. Hope knew that Josie liked her back judging by the fact that she kissed her back a month ago, but she wasn’t aware that Josie was as serious about this as she was. In fact, she didn’t really know where the other girl stood relative to her. It’s part of the reason why she reacted so vehemently last night, after all. But that doubt’s gone now.</p><p>“I-I didn’t know.”</p><p>Penelope discards her neutral and impersonal demeanor, her eyes softening at Hope’s vulnerability. “She really likes you, Hope. She doesn't want to admit it, but she's serious about you.”</p><p>Hope sighs as she runs her hand through her hair, her fingers smoothing out the knots that formed from last night’s slumber. “It’s hard. I know that last night was just some childish game, but seeing her kiss Jade hurt like a bitch. How am I supposed to keep this up?”</p><p>“Josie’s too selfless for her own good. She’ll put everyone else first before she’ll even consider doing something for herself. I personally don’t even think Landon deserves this much slack from her considering he treated her like shit after he found out about the two of you.”</p><p>Hope cringes at the mention of that fateful day. She didn’t hear about what happened from Josie nor Landon, but from Lizzie, who told her about it when she reached out to ask for help in getting through Josie. Of course, her attempts didn’t work, seeing as Josie ignored almost all of her calls and messages. She tried getting through Landon, too. She wanted to tell him that he could hate her all he wants but to leave Josie out of his anger because she didn’t deserve it. Unfortunately, he refused to talk her. He still refuses, really.</p><p>“But of course, she’s prioritizing his feelings over her own,” Penelope continues as she shakes her head in disapproval. “That’s just how she is. She just needs to be pushed in the right direction."</p><p>“I know. It’s one of the many things I love about her,” Hope distantly says, a tinge of bitterness coloring her tone. How ironic for it to also be the very reason why they aren’t together. </p><p>“Give her some time,” Penelope insists with a tight-lipped smile.</p><p>Hope sighs and looks down at her fingers as she thinks about the difficult position that she’s in. On one hand, she doesn’t know if her heart can take any more of this. On the other hand, she’s willing to risk it all when it comes to Josie, her heart be damned. At the end of the day, the answer is obvious.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>---</p><p>Josie didn’t sleep much last night. She kept replaying her conversation with Hope and couldn’t stop thinking about the pain in her voice when she exploded and said that Josie’s feelings for her didn’t seem to be enough. They are, though. If only Hope knew how deep her feelings ran and how much of her headspace she’s taken up. Hope is all she thinks about. But every time Josie longs for Hope, she’s cruelly reminded of the hurt written all over Landon’s face and it’s enough to ground her back to reality.</p><p>“Are you going to the beach with us?” Jade asks as she spreads cream cheese on her bagel. </p><p>They decided to grab breakfast together, her roommate acting like last night never happened. Josie played along, no questions asked. She didn’t feel like making their little smooch a bigger issue than it already was.</p><p>“I’m not really feeling it. You guys can go ahead, though,” she weakly replies as she mindlessly pokes the fruit on her plate.</p><p>Jade sighs and sets her bagel down. “I know you and Hope have a thing for each other. I’ll back off.”</p><p>Josie’s head shoots up in surprise. Jade raises her eyebrows and takes a sip of orange juice like what she just said didn’t bear any weight at all. </p><p>“What? She stormed out after I kissed you and you chased after her not even a second later. Anybody with eyes can see it,” the blonde explains with a scoff.</p><p>Josie opens her mouth and closes it again, unable to say anything that could control the burning embarrassment that she feels. She does not want to think about how the whole team probably knows about the two of them now. She especially does not want to think about Dana knowing, considering the fucked up situation the three of them were tied into. She clenches her jaw at the thought of her high school teammate having something to hold over her yet again. </p><p>“It’s okay, Josie. Teammates hook up all the time, but that seems like old news to you,” Jade snickers.</p><p>Josie knits her eyebrows in annoyance and smacks Jade in the arm. She makes a mental note to curse the game of truth or dare out of her life forever.</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>“That’s not funny.” </p><p> </p><p>After heading up to their room after breakfast, Jade quickly packs up a day bag for their trip to the beach and leaves shortly after. Judging from Josie’s text messages from Penelope asking if she was going, her friend was probably going to tag along, too. </p><p>She’s immensely grateful that she’s found a community within the U-20 team, but they can be a lot to handle sometimes, and she needed some time to reflect and recharge for the rest of camp and their subsequent game against Canada. She wants to start this time, especially against their rival nation. </p><p>She’s settled in bed and ready to stream numerous episodes of whatever show that’ll catch her eye when there’s a knock on her door.</p><p>She grudgingly walks over and is ready to give Jade an earful for forgetting something and interrupting her precious alone time, when she’s met with familiar blue eyes and a crooked smile.</p><p>“Hi,” Hope greets as she twists the ring on her middle finger again. She’s nervous.</p><p>Josie immediately softens at the sight in front of her. “Oh, um, hey!”</p><p>Hope discreetly pokes her head into her room and looks around. “Mind if I come in?” </p><p>Josie blinks as she’s snapped out of her daze. “Oh, of course not! Come on in,” she insists as she swings the door wider. </p><p>Hope returns a weary smile. She opts to sit on the edge of Jade’s messily made bed while Josie sits on her own so she’s sitting across from her. After an awkward beat of silence, Hope finally says something.</p><p>“I wanted to apologize,” she starts. “For last night. I overreacted and it wasn’t fair.”</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s no big deal,” Josie quickly replies. </p><p>Lie. It’s a huge deal. It’s so huge that it’s been eating at her all morning, but she also can’t blame Hope for reacting the way she did. She knows for a fact that she wouldn’t have taken it well if Hope was the one in her position and kissed someone else. In fact, just the thought makes her sick to her stomach.</p><p>Hope doesn’t look too convinced. “No, really. It was just a game and I don’t want to fight with you over something as stupid as that.”</p><p>Josie sighs in relief. She also didn’t like the cold war that was brewing between the two of them and she’s glad that they’re addressing it now and not letting it fester and develop into something much more serious, uncontrollable, and damaging for their relationship.</p><p>“Okay.” She willingly takes the apology. “Can we agree never to play truth or dare again while we’re at it?” she jokes with an easy smile to lighten up the mood.</p><p>It works because Hope cracks a smile, too. “Truth or dare? Never heard of her.”</p><p>Josie laughs—a genuine laugh that originates from deep within her belly. Moments like these remind her that Hope fits so seamlessly in her life. She never fails to make her smile and they always have a good time together. </p><p>Hope grins back, a wistful look in her eye. There’s a comfortable silence between them for a few moments, the two of them just taking each other’s presence in.</p><p>“Uh, so you’re not going to the beach with everyone else?” Josie shyly asks as she plays with a loose thread on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. </p><p>She’s not even going to deny that she wants to spend more time with Hope. She finally feels like they’ve weathered the storm and it’s better than spending her day off alone.</p><p>“Didn’t feel like it. Why?” Hope asks, a knowing smile on her face.</p><p>“Do you maybe want to binge something on Netflix with me?”</p><p>“I don’t know...what are we watching?” she teases as she taps her chin in fake wonder. </p><p>“They just uploaded the final season of <em>How to Get Away with Murder</em>,” Josie shares with a devilish look in her eye. She knows how much Hope loves the series. They’ve bonded over it multiple times.</p><p>Hope gasps in excitement. “Okay, you’ve sold me.” </p><p>Josie chuckles at Hope’s expected reply. She moves over to give her some space on her bed, but the auburn-haired girl doesn’t look like she plans on moving from her spot on Jade’s bed.</p><p>“You do know that you’re not gonna be able to see the screen from there, right?” Josie playfully points out as she reaches over to grab her laptop that’s resting on the foot of her bed.</p><p>“Oh, right,” Hope nervously laughs as she reluctantly stands up. She kicks her slides off of her feet before stiffly sitting next to Josie and resting her back against the headboard.</p><p>Josie gulps at the close proximity between them, her body tensing as it senses Hope next to her. They’re in a good place, but there’s still this immense, unspoken thing between them and it makes times like these more awkward than they should be. </p><p>She just wants to binge a few Netflix episodes with her friend. Is that too much to ask for?</p><p>When Josie plays the first episode, there’s a comfortable silence between them, the only noise being the audio blasting from Josie’s laptop. Of course, there’s still some hesitance from Josie’s end, and surely from Hope’s too, but that washes away once Hope starts making hilariously crude and unnecessary comments about the storyline and Josie gladly follows suit. Before they know it, the space between them has disappeared, Hope grabbing onto Josie’s arm whenever something exciting happens, and they’re both hysterically laughing despite the motif of deceit and murder that pervades every aspect of the show.</p><p>In the middle of the 4th episode, Josie’s eyes start to droop, her lack of sleep from the night before finally catching up on her. Before she knows it, her body relaxes and she falls asleep.</p><p>When she wakes up and her eyes flutter open an hour later, she’s instantly met with the feeling of something weighing on her chest and the smell of the harmonious pairing of citrus and vanilla. She then registers the arms that are tightly wrapped around her waist and the steady breaths that are periodically brushing her neck, the girl in her arms fast asleep.</p><p><em>Oh</em>, she thinks. <em>They’re cuddling</em>.</p><p>Back in November when Josie first came to terms with her feelings, she would have freaked out at the idea of being pressed up against Hope like this. But things are different now. She’s accepted that her feelings for Hope won’t go away for a while, if not, ever. </p><p>Maybe for the sake of her composure, she shouldn’t be entertaining the situation she’s currently in, but she feels this uncanny urge to give into her desires for this one, singular moment and do something for herself.</p><p>Josie cranes her neck and notices that her laptop is neatly stacked on the nightstand next to them, the subtle movement making Hope subconsciously tighten her hold around her even more. Josie’s heart swells in response, a tender warmth spreading through every inch of her body.</p><p>She rests her head back onto the pillow and closes her eyes.</p><p>In that moment, they were just Hope and Josie and nothing else around them mattered. Josie knew that this was merely a temporary and fleeting moment, but that didn’t stop her from savoring every second she had.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry if this chapter seems like a filler bc it lowkey kinda is. but at least it's fluffy and filled with pure, unadulterated hosie wholesomeness!! stay tuned for next chapter though i have a lot planned for that one lolol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lol this was such a bitch to write, i'm not gonna lie. i had the scenes conjured up in my head but for some reason, i had a lot of trouble translating them into words. i'm not sure if my execution did my imagination justice, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie initially thought that the cuddling was going to be a one time incident. However, she’s proven very wrong when Hope drops by after dinner the next day asking if they could watch the rest of the show. Of course, Josie didn’t have it in her to say no, so she willingly agreed. </p><p>Much like the first time, they started the night with a considerable gap between them that disappeared as they got more comfortable. And like the night before, Josie fell asleep and woke up with Hope’s face burrowed into her neck.</p><p>The pattern continues for the rest of camp and neither of them directly address it. Josie likes it that way. It was something she shared with only Hope and talking about it would make it tangible and real. When something is tangible and real, it’s subject to the harsh reality of her imperfect world, and she’d rather keep it suspended in time.</p><p>Josie goes into game day much more confident about her chances of starting than last time. She’s proven very correct when she reads her name on the starting lineup in place of Dana, the blonde huffing in annoyance when the list is first revealed, much to Josie’s enjoyment. She is also delighted to find that Penelope is unsurprisingly starting, too. Of course, having Hope, Maya, and Jade on the list isn’t much of a shock since they’ve all been consistent and reliable players, but nonetheless, it boosts Josie’s mood and calms her nerves knowing that her closest friends on the team will be right on the field with her.</p><p>Canada is relentless.</p><p>The USA versus Canada rivalry stems from potent animosity between the senior women’s teams. During the 2012 Olympics, the US defeated Canada after an <em>extremely</em> late overtime goal, but the Canadians cited that questionable calls made by the referees were ultimately what led to the United States win, creating a feud that only proliferated when the US ended up winning the gold medal. Ever since then, games between Canada and the United States have been aggressive and physical, a development that trickled down to its youth teams as well.</p><p>Early on in the match, Josie’s sure that she’s going to wake up the next morning with a cleat-shaped mark on her calf after a particularly brutal tackle that leaves her on the ground far longer than she would like. She tries not to let the incident fuel her anger, knowing that losing control of her emotions will hurt her performance, so she brushes the grass off her knees and carries on.</p><p>A few minutes later, Penelope serves her a pass that she easily dribbles past a Canadian defender and she scores. In the midst of her excitement, Penelope tackles her to the ground, the rest of her teammates piling onto her a moment later. She doesn’t care that in addition to the lovely bruise on her leg, her ass is going to be sore, because they’re leading and her second career goal for the U-20s is just as sweet as the first.</p><p>Right before half-time, there’s a breakaway that Josie takes advantage of as she sprints as fast as she could with the ball at her feet. Not even a second later, she feels a body crash into hers. She harshly lands on the ground and groans as she hears her ears ring and feels her head spin from the impact of the collision.</p><p>Penelope and Maya are immediately by her side as Penelope rubs Josie’s shoulder and asks if she’s okay. Josie’s first instinct is to grab onto her knee, knowing that her ACL is more likely to tear because she has injured her knee in the past, her heart pounding at the prospect of going through recovery <em>again</em>. Fortunately, she doesn’t feel the sharp and blinding pain that she did two years ago and she’s able to bend her knee back and forth, much to her relief. </p><p>“I’m fine. Just a little shaken up, that’s all,” she reassures them as she sits up and releases a ragged breath.</p><p>Coach Vardemus appears ready to bring the trainer onto the field, but Penelope throws a thumbs up towards the bench to indicate that Josie is fine and that there would be no need for it.</p><p>Once Josie registers the rest of her surroundings, she notices that Hope has run all the way from the backline to get into the face of the Canadian defender who tackled her to the ground.</p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you? You could’ve injured her!” she yells, her tone sharp and accusing and her blue irises ablaze. The Canadian defender doesn’t relent and instead steps forward to get into Hope’s face, too.</p><p>“Yeah? What are you going to do about it?” the other girl fires back.</p><p>Hope’s expression instantly darkens, but before she could really do anything, Penelope’s pulling her away.</p><p>“Hope! You’re the captain, for fuck’s sake. Act like it!” the midfielder scolds her like she’s a disobedient child. </p><p>Hope narrows her eyes and clenches her jaw. “That was a yellow and you know it.”</p><p>“Let the referee decide that. You’re going to get your own if you don’t calm down,” Penelope reasons as she grips Hope’s shoulders to force her attention on her words. “Josie is fine. Her knee is fine.”</p><p>At this point, Josie has slowly stood up and she’s gently stretching her knee to make sure that she still has full mobility. Hope’s eyes focus from Penelope to Josie and her hardened exterior instantly softens at the sight of the brunette.</p><p>“Are you okay? Do you need a sub?” Hope asks as she walks over to her and tenderly touches her arm like she’s a delicate flower. Every nerve on Josie’s skin comes to life.</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Josie scoffs as she suppresses the way her body shivers from Hope’s touch. “I would like to continue kicking their ass.” </p><p>Hope returns a relieved smile. “Good.”</p><p>The Canadian defender that committed the offense is rightfully rewarded a yellow card. Josie can’t even imagine how Hope would’ve reacted if she wasn’t properly punished. Hope is usually the cool, calm, and collected figure on the team even under the most stressful and high-pressure situations. It’s the main reason why she always gets chosen to captain any team that she plays for. </p><p>Oddly enough, Hope’s reaction to Josie getting tackled was the complete opposite of how she would react in virtually any similar circumstance. Josie’s not naive—she knows that Hope’s feelings for her were at play and the thought electrifies every crevice of her body. </p><p>Josie does good by her promise to kick Canada’s ass because she scores another goal in the middle of the second half. On the other hand, Hope is able to enact revenge on the Canadian defender that tackled Josie to the ground.</p><p>It happens when the Canadian outside back runs up the right flank to try and serve a cross to one of the Canadian forwards. Hope takes advantage of the opportunity and sprints after her, executing a clean slide tackle that effectively dispossesses the Canadian, but also causes her to fall to the ground, the collision knocking the wind out of her. </p><p>Hope stands up and walks away unphased, not even bothering to check if the other girl is okay. Josie tries her hardest not to burst out in laughter in the middle of the damn game as she watches it all happen from the other side of the field. The electricity that’s been running through her veins only intensifies.</p><p>During stoppage time, Penelope decides to dig Canada a deeper grave by effortlessly tapping in a goal that Maya beautifully sets up. They end up winning 3-0 against their international rival.</p><p>---</p><p>To uphold tradition, the team decides to go clubbing to celebrate another successful round of training camp. Hope, Maya, and Penelope decide to meet up at Josie and Jade’s hotel room to take a few shots after getting ready.</p><p>“To Josie, the relentless goal-scoring newbie!” Jade exclaims as she holds up her shot glass filled with the vodka that she smuggled from Pennsylvania. There’s a slight slur to her words, indicating that she’s already a little drunk.</p><p>“Yup, it’s not like I scored during my first cap either,” Penelope dryly responds with an eyeroll. </p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry. To Penelope, too!” Jade stupidly giggles as she makes a move to grab the bottle and pour another shot.</p><p>“Nope, you’re done for the night,” Penelope scolds her as she takes the bottle away from her. Jade grumbles in disapproval.</p><p>Meanwhile, Josie’s face twists in disgust as the burning liquor coats her throat. She’s four shots in, but it tastes just as repulsive as the first.</p><p>“Okay, Jo. Maybe you should also tap out. We don’t want a repeat of last time,” Hope amusedly comments after downing her own shot. Of course, in typical Hope Mikaelson fashion, she barely winces from the taste.</p><p>Josie profusely blushes at the subtle comment referring to her insatiable urge to kiss people when she’s drunk. “Pshhh, I’m fine. I ate before this. I should be thriving for the rest of the night.”</p><p>Hope skeptically looks at her, a familiarly unreadable expression crossing her face again. Josie’s far more drunk than she would like to admit, so she doesn’t hesitate to point it out.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Hope quickly shakes her head. “Nothing...it’s nothing.”</p><p>Before Josie can prod, Maya interrupts the group. “Okay, ladies. Alexa just texted me saying they’re on their way there. We should head out.”</p><p> </p><p>When they get to the club, Jade and Penelope head straight to the dance floor while Maya walks to the bar to put her fake ID to good use. Despite her better judgment, Josie also drags Hope to the dance floor with her, thinking that it’d be good for her to release all the pent up energy coursing through her body. </p><p>They dance with each other timidly at first, allowing their bodies to get used to the movement. Josie is never confident enough to dance when she’s sober, but she certainly develops the courage whenever she’s inebriated. </p><p>After several songs, the alcohol she’s consumed earlier that night has properly seeped into her bloodstream and she has fully welcomed the vibrations that reverberate through her bones. Her vision starts to blur at the edges while everything around her seems to be moving in slow motion. </p><p>Despite the sea of sweaty bodies and dry-ice smoke that threaten to compromise her vision, Josie is dazed by the ethereal being that is dancing in front of her. Under the spectacle of deep blues, acid greens, hot pinks, and shimmering golds, Josie watches Hope gracefully sway to the beat of the music, the alcohol in her system adding a layer of fluidity to her movements and making her seem like a silk scarf blowing through the wind.</p><p>Josie feels a magnetic pull as she slowly inches forward, her own body oscillating to the rhythm while Hope mindlessly matches her. They’re not touching, but they’re staring right into each other’s eyes, and a beat later, right at each other’s lips, and it’s enough to make every inch of Josie’s skin burn. Eventually, their faces get so close that Josie can feel Hope’s ragged breath skim her lips. They are so close that even the slightest movement would close the minute gap between them and Josie’s unappeasable craving for the girl in front of her would finally be quenched after weeks of yearning.</p><p>In a brief moment of sobriety, Hope’s eyes widen and she hastily takes a step back as she shakes herself out of her alcohol induced haze.</p><p>“I’m gonna go get some water,” she rasps out, her chest visibly rising and falling from the intense moment that just occurred between them.</p><p>Josie barely registers the change in atmosphere when Hope quickly steps off of the dance floor and heads to the bar. She’s standing frozen in the middle of the dance floor, a stark contrast to the bodies thoughtlessly moving around her, and Penelope immediately notices.</p><p>“Are you okay?” her teammate asks once she comes up to her.</p><p>Josie’s still watching Hope as she patiently sits on a stool by the bar next to Maya, the bartender busy making drinks for the other customers in the queue.</p><p>“I, uh, I’m fine,” she asks in a daze, her mind and body still tingling from the intimately charged moment with Hope.</p><p>Penelope doesn’t say anything in return. Instead, she grabs Josie by the wrist and drags her to the bathroom.</p><p>“Hey! What the hell?” Josie exclaims when Penelope shuts the door and locks it.</p><p>“You’ve gotta stop torturing yourself.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“I know for a fact that Hope’s been spending an awful lot of time in your room cuddling with you. Jade and I literally walked in on you guys a few days ago.”</p><p>“Wha-”</p><p>“And don’t even get me started on what I just saw on the dance floor. The two of you were basically eye-fucking each other!”</p><p>“N-no we weren’t!” Josie sputters out, her cheeks a crimson red.</p><p>“For the love of God, just forget about Landon.”</p><p>The mention of Landon is enough for Josie to regain her composure. “You know I can’t do that.”</p><p>“Him and Hope were never meant to be together. He’ll find someone who can give him what he deserves and he <em>will</em> move on from this. One day, he’ll realize that and he’ll forgive you,” Penelope says matter-of-factly. “But you, on the other hand. I don’t think you’ll ever get past this. I don’t think you’ll ever forgive yourself for letting her get away.”</p><p>Josie falters as she mulls over Penelope’s words. Hope’s in her life. They’re friends. Shouldn’t that be good enough for her?</p><p>“I can’t, Pen. I can’t hurt him more than I already have,” she weakly replies. She was starting to sound like a broken record and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was sick of hearing the same words come out of her mouth.</p><p>Penelope frustratedly sighs and shakes her head in distaste. “Stop acting like hurting Landon is the only thing holding you back.”</p><p>With that, the air suddenly thickens. Josie opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. She doesn’t know what to say in response to such a bold and brazen remark.</p><p>"You and I never got past friends with benefits for a reason," Penelope further pokes.</p><p>Josie’s mouth is agape, Penelope’s sobering comment leaving her scrambling for a response. “Yeah, because I wanted to focus on soccer and didn't have time for a relationship. The same went for you. It worked out, didn't it? We're both here.” </p><p>"That’s not the point, Josie. That's not the only reason and you know it."</p><p>Josie’s heart rate spikes and her guard goes up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."</p><p>"You don't want to surrender to your feelings because if you do, you’re giving Hope the power to hurt you. You're terrified that she’ll eventually leave you like your dad did and you’re trying to protect yourself.”</p><p>Josie clenches her fist by her side to dampen the anger that threatens to muddle her rationality. Penelope’s words feel like a personal attack. “That's not true! My dad has <em>nothing</em> to do with this.”</p><p>Penelope crosses her arms and knits her eyebrows. "It has <em>everything</em> to do with it. Do you remember what you said to me when we first hooked up?"</p><p>Josie’s eyebrows furrow in exasperated confusion. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>"You said, and I quote, 'This can't be anything else besides sex. I can't fall for you and have you leave in the end.' I didn't understand what you meant at the time, because let’s be real, we were really god damn hammered.” Josie rolls her eyes as Penelope naturally gets sidetracked again. “But, when we got closer and you finally opened up to me about your dad, I knew,” Penelope finishes, punctuating her thought.</p><p>Josie completely falters once she hears concrete evidence that proves an insecurity that she’s shoved deep in the back of her mind. It has never been an issue that she had to deal with. Sure, she’s had relationships in the past, but her exes have never been able to steal the air out of her lungs and light her skin on fire the way that Hope has. She had no qualms about them eventually leaving her. No one has ever called her out for it. Not until now.</p><p>“I barely survived my dad leaving, Pen. Do you have any idea how much it would destroy me if I lose Hope?” She feels a sharp pain in her chest at the mere thought of not having Hope in her life. She can’t even fathom what it would do to her if it becomes her reality.</p><p>“Wake up, Josie. You <em>will</em> lose her if you keep this up. Do something before you do.”</p><p>Josie’s throat dries as she clutches the sink next to her so tightly that her knuckles turn white.</p><p>"I know that you never really fell for me, but you're falling for Hope, and you can't just push her away and build a wall between the two of you like you did with me. Not when she's falling for you, too.”</p><p>With Penelope’s final words, Josie thinks about Hope and for once, the image of a despondent Landon doesn’t corrupt her headspace. Instead, her mind drifts to the way the crease between Hope’s eyebrows disappears when she’s asleep, the way Hope’s laugh starts off reserved but then transforms into a pitchy and unrestrained giggle that never fails to make her smile, the way Hope’s lips part when there’s a stillness between them and she’s looking right at her. </p><p>Penelope’s right. She doesn’t <em>just</em> have feelings for Hope. She’s falling. She’s been falling for a while.</p><p>Bright and golden enlightenment washes over her and it tells her what she needs to do next.</p><p>Josie doesn’t bother to wait for Penelope when she hurriedly exits the bathroom and determinedly marches straight to the bar like a special agent assigned to finish one final mission. Thankfully, Hope is still sitting on the stool and casually sipping on her water as she observes the crowd on the dance floor.</p><p>Hope doesn’t notice Josie until the latter plops onto the seat next to her, the auburn-haired girl raising her eyebrows in surprise.</p><p>“Can we talk?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1. way more was supposed to happen in this chapter, but it was getting too long so i decided to split it into two. </p><p>2. the dance scene was inspired by the casey/izzie scene from the show atypical (highly recommend that you watch and bask in the gay tension if you haven't yet hehe)</p><p>3. if you haven't heard, george floyd was a minnesotan black man that was killed by a white police officer in cold blood. the murder was an infuriatingly racist act and has sparked a rebellion in the US. please do your part in spreading awareness (and donate if you are able to)! learn more here: https://tinyurl.com/y94nffbj</p><p>2020 has been really fucking rough, but we'll get through it together. i hope you all stay safe and healthy.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oof i'm sorry for disappearing for a week. i sold my soul to corporate america and started my internship on monday and it requires me to wake up at 8 in the morning which was a *time* because i've been sleeping at 5 am before that. i didn't have the foresight to fix my sleep schedule so i suffered for it lol. </p><p>anyway, i've found some time to write chapter 17 so here it is! feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments because i love reading them!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope sets her glass of water down before focusing all of her attention on the brunette, worry settling in her eyes. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”</p><p>Josie takes a deep breath as she attempts to organize the swarming thoughts in her brain. “I just wanted to say that-”</p><p>“Hope Mikaelson?! Is that you?” a deep voice behind them exclaims.</p><p>Josie sits stunned by the interruption, feeling like a child that is suddenly stripped of the candy that was being handed to her.</p><p>Hope furrows her eyebrows in confusion before turning around, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping in surprise.</p><p>“Roman?”</p><p>A tall, well-dressed, and hazel-eyed man swaggers his way over. Upon closer inspection, Josie notices his perfect white teeth arranged in a blinding smile while his blonde curls are lazily groomed and swept over his forehead. This stranger is conventionally attractive and for some reason, Josie feels potent jealousy run through her despite not knowing who this Roman guy even is.</p><p>“I haven’t seen you in a while!” he exclaims as he comes up to Hope once he gets to the bar.</p><p>Hope’s mouth is still agape when she stands up from her seat and gives him a hug. Josie’s eyes narrow at the way Roman’s hands linger on the small of her back. “Oh my God, I know! What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m here on business before I go back up to Columbia after break,” he explains. Josie rolls her eyes. <em>Great</em>, she thinks. <em>He’s an Ivy League boy, too</em>. “What about you? Last time I checked, you’re all the way in California.”</p><p>“I’m here for U-20 camp. We had a game today, actually.”</p><p>Roman quirks an eyebrow. “And?”</p><p>“We won,” Hope modestly shares with a shy smile.</p><p>“As expected, Superstar. I see things haven’t changed since high school,” he compliments with a knowing look that Josie can’t quite read. It makes her uneasy, seeing that the two of them have a history that she doesn’t know much about.</p><p>Hope lightly chuckles and brushes him off as she turns towards the brunette next to her. “By the way, this is Josie. She’s my teammate in the U-20s and a really good friend. She’s pretty much the reason why we won today.”</p><p>Josie stomach clenches at Hope referring to her as merely a friend, but she tries her best to ignore it. </p><p>“And Jo, this is Roman. Him and I grew up together since our families are occasional business partners,” Hope continues as she refers to the blonde Adonis next to her.</p><p>“Oh really, Hope? That’s it? Let’s not forget that we dated in high school,” he chuckles. </p><p>Josie sighs despite having an inkling that they had some sort of romantic connection in the past. </p><p>Hope’s mouth drops and her cheeks suddenly turn crimson at Roman’s comment. “I-I didn’t think that was something I had to share.” Her head turns to check on Josie and she shoots her an apologetic look, but the brunette ignores her gaze.</p><p>Roman easily brushes Hope off and sticks out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Josie.”</p><p>The introduction is very warm and the smile that accompanies it makes it hard for Josie to dislike the boy in front of her. She willingly shakes his hand.</p><p>“Likewise,” she replies with a weak smile. </p><p>Roman eyes the seat next to Hope. “Mind if I join you guys?”</p><p>Before Hope can answer, Josie chimes in. “I’ll give you two some privacy. I’m gonna go look for Pen and Jade.” </p><p>Hope immediately grabs her arm as she moves to stand up. “What? Stay. You wanted to talk to me about something, right? I can tell Roman to go.”</p><p>Josie shakes her head as she gives Hope the most reassuring smile that she can muster. “It’s fine. We can talk later. I don’t want to intrude a reunion with someone you haven’t seen in years.” This Roman guy seems like an important part of Hope’s life. Who is she to take that away from her? Besides, her feelings can wait.</p><p>“Okay. Promise we’ll talk later?” Hope asks with a small voice and wide, pleading eyes.</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>As Josie walks away to find some of her teammates, she sneaks a glance behind her. She tries to swallow the bitterness that coats her throat when she watches Roman gently touch Hope’s knee while the latter throws her head back in laughter. Penelope’s words reverberate through her subconscious: “<em>Wake up, Josie. You will lose her if you keep this up</em>.” Maybe it’s her alcohol-ridden brain, but a small part of her thinks that maybe, she <em>is</em> starting to lose Hope.</p><p>Josie quickly finds Jade in a corner holding two drinks, seemingly waiting for someone. Without asking for permission, Josie takes what looks like a rum and coke from Jade’s hand and chugs it before the blonde can even protest.</p><p>“Josie! That was Pen’s! What the hell?”</p><p>The brunette rolls her eyes and ignores her, shoving the empty glass back to her. “You have a fake, right? Can you get me another one?”</p><p>Jade seems too fucked up to resist, so she shrugs her shoulders and heads to the bar to get her another drink.</p><p>---</p><p>“It’s really nice to see you again, Hope,” Roman nostalgically says as he sips on his bourbon. He offered to buy Hope a glass considering that he’s 21 and he knows that there’s a special place in her heart for it, but the auburn-haired girl politely declined, not wanting to get even more drunk than she already is.</p><p>Hope smiles. “Yeah. Life’s gotten crazy since we last saw each other, huh? How’s everything?”</p><p>“It’s good! I’m helping out with recruiting in the area and I feel like we’ve gotten pretty good talent here.”</p><p>Hope thoughtlessly nods as Roman rambles on about business talk, her mind still drifting to Josie. The brunette seemed hell-bent on talking to her and she’s wondering why she so easily backed off when Roman interrupted them. </p><p>“So, are you seeing anyone?” Roman casually asks as he swirls his bourbon, suddenly snapping Hope back to reality.</p><p>“Excuse me, what?” she asks, taken aback.</p><p>Roman smoothly chuckles. “Has anyone caught your eye lately?”</p><p>Hope blinks as she wonders what Roman’s angle is. Why is he asking about her love life? “Um, I recently dated this guy for a bit. It didn’t last very long, though. We broke up after 3 months.”</p><p>“Oh. That’s too bad. What happened?”</p><p>Hope’s throat dries as she recollects the events of the past few weeks starting with embracing her feelings for Josie and ending with where they are now: a friendship that doesn’t quite feel like one. The unspoken cuddling, stolen glances, and the burning sensation she feels when Josie touches her skin aren’t part of the definition of “just friends.”</p><p>“Long story,” she distantly quips back.</p><p>“Oh, come on. I’ve got the time,” he insists. “I’m your friend first, you know. Even if things didn’t work out between us.”</p><p>Hope’s heart warms at Roman’s words. They’ve known each other since she first moved to Mystic Falls when she was 8 and he was 10, his parents also enrolling him into Salvatore. They got closer when she noticed him around in New Orleans. His family’s investment firm is a large client of The Mikaelson Group and her father always invited the Siennas over for their fancy philanthropy events. They bonded a lot over not feeling like they completely fit in the wealthy socialite lifestyle, so they’d always sneak away to avoid networking with stuck-up investors and drink the expensive vodka they stole from the event while they talked about anything and everything. </p><p>Eventually, their friendship turned romantic. Roman was Hope’s first kiss and for a second, she thought she loved him. Things changed when she found out that he betrayed her by using information that she mindlessly shared with him to cheat out of deals with The Mikaelson Group. Her family’s company took a significant hit and her mother’s death a month later did nothing but worsen the situation. Her heart broke at the betrayal and she iced Roman out for years. </p><p>Once Hope came to terms with her mother’s death and Klaus was able to dig the company out of its grave, she was able to forgive Roman who made multiple attempts in reaching out and profusely apologized for his transgressions. She could never see herself taking him back, but he was her friend first. He understood her like no one else could, seeing as they’re both heirs to their family’s companies and dealt with expectations that came with being in that position everyday. Slowly, he gained her trust again after he repeatedly proved that he would never betray her again by taking a more active role in his family’s firm and repairing his company’s severed ties with The Mikaelson Group.</p><p>Hope trusts Roman, so she decides to tell him the truth.</p><p>“I fell for someone else,” she vaguely reveals.</p><p>Roman blows air through his mouth. “Shit. That’s rough. Does he at least feel the same way about you?”</p><p>Hope chuckles at Roman’s assumption that she fell for another guy. She doesn’t really blame him. He’s not quite aware that she’s bisexual. “Yes, <em>she</em> does.”</p><p>In response, Roman violently coughs as bourbon enters the wrong pipe. Hope quirks an eyebrow as she amusedly watches him catch his breath.</p><p>“O-oh,” he sputters out. After a few seconds of collecting himself, he straightens his collar and continues. “That’s totally cool! I’m happy for you.”</p><p>The amusement fades as dejection settles in. “Yeah.”</p><p>Roman knits his eyebrows in confusion. “What’s wrong? Isn’t that a good thing?”</p><p>Hope sighs as she prepares to explain the shitshow that’s been her life the past few months. “The guy I was dating? He’s her best friend. She pushed me away after I kissed her because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so we agreed to just be friends.”</p><p>“Is that what you want?”</p><p>“Obviously not, but I don’t want to make her do something she doesn’t want to.”</p><p>It takes a second for Roman to reply. It looks like he’s thinking about something. “This girl you fell for...it’s Josie, right?”</p><p>Hope’s eyes widen at Roman’s boldly accurate guess. “H-how the hell did you figure that out?”</p><p>“Oh, come on. She has been sending me daggers ever since I came over here. Not to mention, you turned into a puddle when you asked her to stay.”</p><p>Hope sighs as she runs a hand through her hair, refusing to look Roman in the eye. “Yeah, it’s Josie,” she mumbles, almost indiscernible. Of course, he has no trouble understanding her.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure she wants the same thing you do, Hope.”</p><p>“You mean that?” she asks, a burst of hope blooming in her chest. Josie’s never really completely verbalized her feelings for her and at times, Hope doesn’t know where they stand. She doesn’t want to prod because she’d be running the risk of getting pushed away again.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>. Why don’t you tell me more about her?” Roman asks as he takes another sip of his drink.</p><p>“Gladly,” Hope replies with a crooked smile.</p><p>After talking to Roman about the extent of her feelings for Josie and everything that’s happened between them the past few weeks, her old friend decides to call it a night. Before they part ways, he offers her some advice.</p><p>“Talk to her and tell her everything. It’ll change things, I’m sure of it.”</p><p> </p><p>It takes a while for Hope to find any leads pointing to Josie’s location. Some of her teammates haven’t interacted with the brunette all night, so they didn’t know her whereabouts. She sighs in relief once she spots Penelope.</p><p>“Hey, Pen. Have you seen Josie?”</p><p>The midfielder knits her eyebrows in confusion. “I thought she was with you?”</p><p>“She was, but she decided to go find you and Jade when I ran into an old friend.” </p><p>Penelope lets out a frustrated sigh as she roughly runs her hand through her short locks.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Hope asks in concern.</p><p>“Nothing. Josie’s just being a dumbass again,” Penelope mutters out in annoyance. “I haven’t seen Jade. Maybe she’s with her. Come on,” she wonders out loud as she grabs Hope and drags her back into the dance floor.</p><p>After working their way through the crowd, Hope finally spots Josie who seems considerably drunker than when she last saw her. Her movements are much more staggered and she’s basically leaning on Jade for support as the blonde continues swaying to the music.</p><p>“What are you idiots doing?” Penelope exasperatedly asks as she rubs the space between her eyebrows.</p><p>Jade narrows her eyes at her. “Calm down. We’re just dancing.”</p><p>“Josie? Are you okay?” Hope asks as she gently grabs the brunette’s arm. The action grabs the girl’s attention and she squeals in excitement once she spots Hope. </p><p>“Hopey! You found me!” she exclaims as she sloppily wraps her arms around the auburn-haired girl’s neck.</p><p>Hope tenses at the sudden movement. “How much did you have to drink tonight?” </p><p>Josie pulls away from their embrace and scrunches her eyebrows as she counts. Eventually, she sheepishly holds up six fingers. </p><p>Hope eyes widen. “Okay, I’m taking you back to the hotel,” she announces as she snakes her arm around the brunette’s waist. </p><p>Penelope harshly smacks Jade in the arm. “You dumbass! Why’d you give her more?”</p><p>“She wanted more!” Jade defensively explains as she rubs the pain from her arm away.</p><p>Hope shakes her head at her friend’s irresponsibility. She’s played with Jade for years and she isn’t surprised that they’re in this position <em>again</em>, but she just wishes that Josie wasn’t always involved.</p><p>“Let’s go, Jo. I’ll call us an Uber,” she softly says to the girl leaning on her. “Are you guys coming?” she asks Jade and Penelope.</p><p>Penelope quickly shakes her head. “No, we’re good. Jade doesn’t seem to want to leave yet. We’ll just tag along with Maya or something. Go ahead. Josie should go back.”</p><p>Hope nods and guides Josie out of the club.</p><p>---</p><p>Twenty minutes later, they arrive back at the hotel. Hope was somehow able to coax Josie’s room key out of her, so once they get to the correct door, she inserts the key card into the slot and pulls the brunette into the room.</p><p>Hope helps Josie sit on the foot of her bed and begins helping her take her shoes off.</p><p>“I feel like it’s becoming your job taking care of me when I get too wasted,” Josie slurs as she punctuates her sentence with a drunken giggle.</p><p>Hope offers her an amused smile as she rises up to Josie’s eye-level after finishing the task. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” she murmurs mere inches away from Josie’s face.</p><p>Josie simply gazes at her like she’s under some sort of spell. Without warning, she gently cups Hope’s cheek as she leans in and captures Hope’s lips with her own.</p><p>Hope stands shell-shocked for a second as she registers Josie’s hot breath and the faint taste of rum on her lips. Fireworks explode in her stomach and the loud thump of her heartbeat saturates her hearing. For a brief moment, Hope’s body relaxes and she almost kisses Josie back, but she pulls away when she gets her bearings and realizes that she shouldn’t be taking advantage of Josie when she’s not in the right state of mind. The last thing she wants to do is ruin their delicate and fragile relationship with a thoughtless, drunken kiss.</p><p>“Why did you do that, Jo?” Hope breathes out, a tinge of despondency lacing her tone. She’s not naive. Drunk Josie has a reputation of kissing people. She’s not an exception.</p><p>Josie knits her eyebrows in confusion and she pouts. Hope tries her hardest to ignore how kissable her lips look. “It’s because I want you, Hope. I thought you wanted me, too.”</p><p>“I do. You know that,” Hope replies without a beat, but then she sighs. “I don’t want to be another one of your drunken conquests, Josie. I would like to think that I deserve you when you’re sober.”</p><p>“But you’re not another drunken conquest. You’re different,” Josie insists as she lazily rests her arms on Hope’s shoulders and wraps her hands around the nape of her neck.</p><p>For some reason, Hope still feels a pang in her chest regardless of Josie’s drunken attempt in reassuring her. She can’t help but feel bitter that Josie seems to be giving her the attention she’s been craving from the brunette only when she’s blackout drunk. Hope can’t even celebrate the fact that she was able to kiss Josie again because the moment’s been tainted by alcohol and actions that the brunette probably didn’t even mean to take.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about this right now. Can we drop it?” she pointedly asks as she pulls away from Josie’s grasp. </p><p>Josie simply furrows her eyebrows and allows her arms to fall limp by her sides in response.</p><p>This was not a conversation Hope wanted to have when Josie’s barely herself despite the unwavering urge to tell Josie everything that’s on her mind. If she was being completely honest with herself, she's pissed that Josie didn't seem to wait for her so they could talk and instead, recklessly got drunker. She hates that they're in this position right now.</p><p>Hope takes the initiative to grab a t-shirt and shorts from Josie’s suitcase since she knows that the other girl is too inebriated to do it herself and will most likely end up passing out in her party clothes if no one did it for her.</p><p>“Here. Put these on. I’ll go get you some water.”</p><p>Josie takes the clothes and salutes as she gives Hope a dopey smile. “Aye aye, Captain!”</p><p>Once Hope fills a plastic cup with water in the bathroom and grabs the bottle of aspirin from Josie’s toiletry bag, she comes back and finds Josie in her bra as she sloppily tries to put her shirt over her head. Hope’s eyes involuntarily wander to Josie’s exposed abs, the smooth and tan skin flexing from the movement. Her heart immediately races and her throat dries, but she looks away, not wanting to take advantage of Josie while she’s in such a vulnerable state.</p><p>When the sound of ruffling fabric ceases, she turns back around and finds Josie fully dressed in clean clothes as she lounges on her bed and tightly hugs one of her pillows to her chest.</p><p>“Drink,” Hope instructs as she hands Josie the cup of water. “You don’t want to be hungover tomorrow.”</p><p>Josie willingly accepts the cup and takes a large swig before groggily returning it to Hope who sets it next to the bottle of aspirin on the nightstand. She hastily scribbles a note for Josie the next morning.</p><p>“Okay, good night,” Hope finally says as she makes a move to leave. However, Josie grabs her hand, her shiny chocolate eyes staring right into her soul.</p><p>“Stay,” she pleads with a whisper.</p><p>Hope’s heart jumps at the request. It’s probably not a good idea. “Josie, I don-“</p><p>“At least until I pass out. I promise I won’t try anything again,” Josie insists with a lopsided smile, her eyes still unfocused from the alcohol in her system.</p><p>“Okay,” Hope relents. A voice in the back of her head scolds her for being so weak when it comes to Josie, but she doesn’t care. Besides, it’s not like she’s sober either. She can blame her idiocy on the alcohol tomorrow morning.</p><p>Josie cuddles right into Hope’s arms as she buries her face into the crook of Hope’s neck and wraps her arms around her waist, an ironic reversal of roles from the past few days.</p><p>“You’re so comfy,” Josie mumbles onto her skin, the vibrations causing Hope’s entire body to tingle with prickling warmth.</p><p>“Glad to be of service,” Hope chuckles as she gently caresses Josie’s arm, her fingers effortlessly gliding on the brunette’s smooth skin.</p><p>After a beat of silence, Josie shifts in Hope’s arms and looks up at her, an endearing look in her eyes.</p><p>“I really do want you,” Josie whispers as she refers to her words after she tried kissing her a few moments ago.</p><p>Hope stills for a moment before she releases a nervous laugh. “Let’s talk about this when we’re both sober, okay?” </p><p>She doubts that they’re ever going to talk about it seeing as the universe seemed to be very against them doing exactly that tonight, but she’s willing to put Josie at ease.</p><p>Josie frowns but returns to burrowing herself into Hope’s chest. “Okay.” </p><p>They remain like that for several minutes, like they’re frozen in time. Josie’s breaths eventually steady, and Hope can only assume that she has finally succumbed to her drunken stupor and fallen asleep. </p><p>Unfortunately for Hope, the profound and reflective silence makes her mind race. Her heart breaks at the thought that this is the one moment that Josie will freely express her feelings for her without any restraints; that this is the one moment that Josie will kiss her without feeling guilty about it. She rapidly blinks away the tears that threaten to blur her vision and steadies her breath as she stares at the blank ceiling above her.</p><p>Hope feels like her perceptions are sharpened as she senses every inch of Josie’s skin touch hers, feels every breath that dances on her neck, and smells every layer of Josie’s jasmine and honey shampoo. She is so overwhelmed that she suddenly feels an unforgivable urge to verbalize feelings that she’s bottled up for years, thinking that materializing them out into the world will help her cope with her intractable feelings for Josie Saltzman.</p><p>Hope takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, Roman’s parting words playing on repeat in her mind. Josie’s passed out. What did she have to lose?</p><p>“I didn't tell you the whole story when I revealed the truth about your injury," she starts as she digs up a secret that she’s buried deep within her heart and revealed to Roman earlier that night. She pauses to gauge Josie’s reaction, but the brunette doesn’t move, her breaths still steady and her eyes still closed.</p><p>"The truth is, a part of me has always harbored feelings for you ever since we were little kids. I’m still playing because of you, Jo, and I like to think that you changed my life. I still share something with my mom because of you.” </p><p>Hope pauses and braces herself as if the world around her will change after revealing her raw, unfiltered, and unspoken emotions. She slowly looks around the room and eventually back down at Josie who is still asleep. Everything’s the same.</p><p>“At first, I didn’t think too much of it because it was just an innocent crush, right? I lived my life, dated Roman in high school, and got my heart broken, but you were somehow always there, lingering in the back of my mind. I'd always think, ‘What if?’ when it came to you.”</p><p>Hope shifts and makes herself more comfortable in Josie’s embrace before continuing.</p><p>“When you started hating me, it hurt like hell, but I also took it as a sign that maybe, you and I weren’t meant to be together. When I first met Landon, I thought that maybe, he could be the one, but you bulldozed your way into my life again, and for once, I felt like the universe wasn’t against us. I’ve gotten a taste of what it's like to be adored by you, and these feelings...they’ve come back stronger, and they’ve consumed such a large part of me that I feel like I can’t breathe.”</p><p>Hope takes a shaky deep breath as she combs her fingers through Josie's hair. “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, Josie. I don’t know if I can keep waiting,” she whispers so softly, her voice breaking towards the end.</p><p>Dread pools in her stomach at the prospect of never completely having Josie in her life, a cruel side effect of their imperfect reality. But at the end of the day, she has to try chaining the fences that guard her heart.</p><p>“I know that you’re not going to remember this, which is why I’m even pouring my heart out, but at least I can live with the fact that I got this off of my chest and said this to you. Maybe then, I’ll finally be able to move on.”</p><p>Hope closes her eyes and basks in the feeling of Josie perfectly molded against her body, like they’re two puzzle pieces manufactured with an utmost precision to fit perfectly together. Her racing mind stills as the truth settles in the air between them and her body relaxes as she drowns in overwhelming adoration for the sleeping girl in her arms.</p><p>Finally, Hope gently removes herself from Josie's iron grip and places a gentle kiss on her forehead as a parting gift. She feels that it's time for her to leave, but it's like some higher power enchants her to stay so she can utter one last thing.</p><p>"You're my one totally epic love, Josie Saltzman."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>before you roast me in the comments, i can explain! i didn’t want them having this very important conversation while drunk in a noisy bar and i didn’t want josie finding the courage to finally talk to hope be founded on being inebriated.</p><p>this is how i’ve imagined the story to go since very early on in the process and the last scene was something i’ve thought about for a while. it's also inspired by real-life events from my freshman year of college.</p><p>(also, i’m just an asshole and wanted to insert more drama before finally relenting and getting them together).</p><p>it will all make sense next chapter! stay tuned!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm sorry for disappearing for yet another week. my boss didn't hesitate to incorporate me into the team bc i am now drowning in work and navigating through a very tight deadline. i felt like i deserved to relax though so i took some time to write.</p><p>here’s chapter 18! can’t wait to hear your thoughts about this one heehee :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Josie feels when she wakes up the next morning is a prominent pain that begins at the base of her skull and wraps around every other part of her head. It feels like a vice that repeatedly squeezes her brain like it’s some tacky and malleable sponge.</p><p>The bed next to her is unusually empty, making her wonder where her roommate possibly went. The thought doesn’t last long because the blinding sun that shines through the window hits her line of vision, worsening her already throbbing headache. In an effort to shield herself from the unforgiving brightness, she turns her body the opposite way and in doing so, is met with the sight of a haphazardly scribbled note propped up against a bottle of aspirin on her side table.</p><p>She sluggishly sits up and grabs the note to better distinguish the message written on the piece of paper.</p><p>
  <em>Take these so you feel better. -HM</em>
</p><p>At first, the note confuses the hell out of Josie since she can’t seem to recollect how she even ended up in her room by the end of the night. However, she recognizes that it’s signed with Hope’s initials, indicating that she was with her last night. As further confirmation, the faint scent of citrus and vanilla on her pillow pervades her nostrils and the memories from the night before suddenly flood her like a tidal wave that washes away any sense of balance that she has left. </p><p>Despite the six drinks that were in her system and the cloudiness of her memories, she somehow remembers every word that Hope said to her last night.</p><p>Hope’s had feelings for her since they were little.</p><p>Hope’s been waiting for her for years.</p><p>Hope told her she loves her.</p><p>Josie’s stomach rolls in an unpleasant way when she remembers that Hope didn’t sound happy to be sharing her otherwise well-hidden feelings. The confession should have been a celebration of love. Instead, Hope sounded despondent and hopeless, like she was ready to give up on any prospect of them being together.</p><p>Josie knows how she feels about Hope. She’s wanted to unashamedly yell it out into the world ever since Penelope knocked some sense into her at the club last night. She knows that she has to say something now if she didn’t want to lose Hope forever.</p><p>She abruptly gets out of bed and grabs her room key from the side table before heading out of the room, a single destination in mind, her hangover be damned. </p><p>Josie sharply knocks three times on Hope and Penelope’s door, anxiously waiting for the auburn-haired girl to greet her. She can hear some rustling, a thud, and the faint sound of a zipper on the other end, but she’s too nervous to question what those sounds even mean.</p><p>She’s in the middle of practicing what she wants to say to Hope when she hears a click and a subsequent turn of the doorknob, her heart rate doubling in response. </p><p>She deflates upon seeing that it’s only Penelope.</p><p>“Well it’s nice to see you, too, Josette,” her friend sarcastically greets with a hint of what Josie interprets as panic.</p><p>Penelope’s hair is ruffled and the collar of her t-shirt crookedly sits on her collarbones. Upon closer inspection, Josie notices a faint mark resting on the side of her neck, looking an awful lot like a hickey. Despite her curiosity, her desire to talk to Hope trumps anything else, so she decides to save her questions for later and figures that Penelope simply brought a girl to her hotel room last night.</p><p>“Is Hope here?” Josie asks with a desperation that she doesn’t bother to hide. “I need to talk to her.” She doesn’t wait to be invited in, pushing past Penelope and frantically looking around the room trying to locate the auburn-haired girl.</p><p>“Josie, chill out. Holy shit, what’s gotten into you?” Penelope asks as she gently grabs Josie’s wrist to try and ground her back to reality.</p><p>“I have to talk to her, Penelope! Where is she?” Josie asks with a new sense of urgency in her voice.</p><p>Penelope sighs, confusion written all over her face. “Didn’t she tell you?” </p><p>“Didn’t she tell me what?” Josie sharply asks, not in the mood to play any games.</p><p>“She caught an early flight back to California with Maya. They didn’t want to miss Stanford’s first winter training session,” Penelope cautiously informs her. “She left for the airport at 7 this morning.”</p><p>Josie’s heart drops, her knees suddenly feeling weak. She sits down on the nearest surface which ironically happens to be Hope’s newly-made bed as she tries catching her breath and calming her rapid heartbeat. In a cruel twist of events, the smell of Hope’s perfume that permeates from her sheets overwhelms Josie’s senses and in response, her already sensitive stomach turns in the ugliest way possible.</p><p>The six drinks worth of alcohol that she consumed last night threatens to exit her body and she rushes to the bathroom and empties the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Penelope quickly follows her and holds her hair away from her face to prevent it from getting covered in her vomit.</p><p>“Let me guess. You didn’t tell her how you felt last night,” Penelope tiredly asks as she rubs Josie’s back, the latter still puking into the toilet.</p><p>After a few moments, the heaving finally stops and Josie wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She looks up at Penelope, her eyes watery and bloodshot.</p><p>“No, I didn’t. As you can see, I got hammered instead,” Josie scornfully croaks out, her voice scratchy from the stomach acid that was just passing through her throat a moment ago.</p><p>“Why? Why the hell would you do that? I thought that I finally got through to you,” Penelope exasperatedly asks as she releases Josie’s hair and helps her up.</p><p>Josie moves to the sink to wash her hands and rinse her mouth, a feeble attempt to erase any remnants of alcohol left from the night before. “I was going to, trust me. But then, her ex-boyfriend from Columbia showed up looking short of a Greek God and I felt threatened, okay? I thought that maybe you were right. Maybe, I was losing her already.”</p><p>“You’re such an idiot, you know that?” Penelope harshly comments, crossing her arms and leaning against the sink next to Josie.</p><p>“I’m fully aware of that,” Josie mutters out as she shakes the excess water from her hands and uses the towel hanging next to the sink to dry them.</p><p>“I don’t think you are,” Penelope challenges her as she turns her body and faces Josie, her posture less casual and more confrontational now. </p><p>Josie tries to ignore the irritation that starts dripping into her chest as she sets the towel down and matches Penelope’s body language. “I am.”</p><p>“No, you’re not. You had the chance to tell her how you felt last night and you blew it. I won’t be surprised if she fully gave up on you now.” </p><p>Josie clenches her fist by her side upon hearing Penelope’s ruthlessly honest remark and with no restraint, she explodes. “I know I’m an idiot, okay?! I was so god damn drunk last night that I tried kissing her and it triggered such a defensive response from her that she confessed her love for me and told me that she’s going to try to move on.”</p><p>Penelope is rightfully taken aback, her eyes wide and her body frozen in place.</p><p>“She did it because she didn’t think I would remember,” Josie continues, weaker this time. “Do you know how sad that is? For her to only be confident enough to tell me how she feels because I’m blackout drunk? Because it’s the only time she thinks that I won’t push her away?” </p><p>Penelope remains speechless, a hint of pity coloring her eyes.</p><p>“I’ve hurt her, Pen. I <em>need</em> to fix this,” she says, her voice shaking. </p><p>Her friend steps forward and comfortingly rests her hands on Josie’s shoulder. “You can’t do anything right now, okay? Our flight back to San Francisco isn’t until noon. You’ll have a chance to talk to her again. But for now, all you can do is wait.”</p><p>Josie doesn’t have it in her to look at Penelope in the eye, thinking that she’ll crumble like a house of cards under her gaze. She feels so powerless at the moment, like she’s completely exhausted all of her options.</p><p>“Okay,” she relents. “I’m gonna go pack. I’ll meet you downstairs in a few hours.”</p><p>Penelope returns her a weak, tight-lipped smile in return.</p><p>“It’ll be okay,” her friend reassures her. </p><p>Josie can’t decide if she wants to believe her, but she tries to muster the most genuine smile that she can offer.</p><p>“And go brush your teeth, will you? I can smell the rum and regret from all the way over here,” Penelope quickly adds as if to try and balance out the warm and comforting moment they had not even a minute ago. </p><p>Josie rolls her eyes at Penelope’s unshakable bluntness. On any other day, she would reply with an equally sarcastic response, but instead, she settles with throwing her the finger, secretly thankful that Penelope’s finding the deep-seated humor of the situation and momentarily allowing her to forget about what she risks losing.</p><p>---</p><p>Despite the 5 and a half hour flight back to San Francisco, Josie couldn’t find it in herself to relax. She kept replaying every word that Hope whispered to her sleeping figure last night while wallowing in the sensation of Hope’s fingers stroking her skin, the mere thought leaving a trail goosebumps on the surface of her arms. </p><p>The worst part of the flight was when her mind dangerously drifted to thoughts involving losing Hope. The auburn-haired girl’s confession sounded an awful lot like a period that was meant to mark the end of a story — their story. The nauseating thought makes Josie want to march up to the pilot’s den to tell them to <em>hurry the fuck up</em> so she can get to Hope and finally tell her how she really feels.</p><p>If she wasn’t so hungover, she’d indulge in the expensive in-flight cocktails so she could pass out and escape her thoughts for a few hours. But honestly, she shouldn’t even be <em>thinking</em> about drinking. Alcohol’s the reason why she’s in this damn mess anyway. </p><p>By the time their plane lands in San Francisco at around 2:30 PM local time, Josie is barely approachable despite Penelope’s goodhearted attempts in trying to initiate friendly and thoughtless conversation that is meant to calm her. </p><p>“Do you want to call the Uber or should I?” Penelope asks as they stand by the arrivals door with their luggage. </p><p>With that, Josie has an idea. </p><p>“Would you mind taking my suitcase back to Cal?” she asks, ignoring Penelope’s question regarding transportation plans to go back to campus.</p><p>“What? Why?” Penelope asks, clearly confused about Josie’s intentions.</p><p>“I’m going to Stanford,” Josie simply says without further explanation. </p><p>Penelope’s eyes widen in surprise. “<em>Now</em>?”</p><p>“Yes, now.”</p><p>“When I said you have time, I meant it. You don’t have to go <em>now</em>. Have you even thought about what you want to say?”</p><p>Josie understands Penelope’s inclination to err on the side of caution, especially because her impulsion is what caused last night to snowball into a miscommunication nightmare, but she knows that this is the right thing to do.</p><p>“I’ve thought about her the whole flight, Pen. It’s about time, right? I refuse to screw this up again.”</p><p>Penelope doesn’t resist. Instead, she raises her eyebrows and offers an amused smile. “Okay. I’ll take your suitcase back,” she relents. “But you’re gonna have to pick it up from my apartment. I’m not risking seeing Lizzie if I were to drop it off to your dorm room.”</p><p>Josie rolls her eyes but leans forward and kisses Penelope on the cheek anyway.</p><p>The other girl seems taken aback, the action coming off as a surprise since they haven’t done anything remotely intimate in months. “What was that for?”</p><p>“For being brutally honest with me even when I didn’t want to hear it,” she starts with an appreciative smile. “And telling me that I deserve this when I convinced myself that I didn’t. I don’t show my appreciation for you enough.”</p><p>Penelope immediately softens upon hearing Josie’s words. “Of course, Jo. You do deserve this. Now go get your girl.”</p><p>---</p><p>During her Uber ride to Stanford, Josie texts Maya asking her for Hope’s address. They were still in the middle of practice, but the stars seemed to have aligned because Maya checked her phone during their water break and was able to provide Josie the information she needed, no questions asked. </p><p>Once she arrives at Hope’s apartment complex and thoughtlessly thanks her driver, Josie finds apartment 12, as indicated by Maya’s text message. She knows that Hope’s most likely still at practice, but she takes a deep breath and knocks on the door anyway. When no one answers, Josie releases a sigh of relief that she didn’t even realize she was holding. This way, she has some time to compose herself. </p><p>For the next few minutes, Josie does a combination of pacing back and forth the narrow hallway and periodically checking the time on her phone, the minutes seemingly ticking by slower than usual. </p><p>She’s sitting by Hope’s door and fidgeting with the sleeve of her navy blue US soccer windbreaker when she suddenly hears a series of footsteps that grow louder by the second.</p><p>Her head shoots up at the sound and she loses her breath when it is confirmed that it is indeed Hope walking back from practice. She slowly stands up from her spot on the floor.</p><p>Hope hasn’t noticed her yet, her eyes glued to her phone as she thoughtlessly walks down the hallway. Instead of the red, white, and blue apparel that she’s been wearing the past ten days during U-20 camp, she is instead wearing her red and white Stanford-emblazoned gear. Her duffel bag hangs off of one shoulder while her damp hair rests on the other, probably due to the shower she took immediately after practice. </p><p>She looks so naturally beautiful that the sight of her steals the air out of Josie’s lungs.</p><p>When Hope looks up from her phone, the soft smile that adorned her face instantly drops upon seeing Josie anxiously waiting for her by her door.</p><p>“Josie,” she breathes out as she stands frozen in place.</p><p>“Hi,” Josie replies equally as breathless.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” she questions her, a defensive edge in her tone. </p><p>“I remember everything.”</p><p>Hope’s face instantly pales, her blue eyes widening and her jaw dropping in surprise. Josie’s words leave her dumbstruck and unable to verbalize a coherent thought.</p><p>“Can we please talk?” Josie desperately asks like her survival depends on it. “For real this time.”</p><p>There’s a pregnant pause between them, Hope seemingly debating with herself. The silence is so profound that it makes Josie’s skin crawl.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” Hope finally replies as she shakes herself out of her haze. “Come in?” she asks as she points to her door.</p><p>Josie returns a relieved smile and eagerly nods.</p><p>Hope walks over to her door and fumbles with her keys, but she’s shaking so much that she drops them to the floor, immediately prompting Josie to reach down to grab them for her. Once she rises up and hands them to Hope, their fingers brush against each other, sending a pulse of electricity through Josie’s arm. She feels her cheeks heat up at the touch, instantly feeling embarrassed about it, but when she looks up to see Hope avoiding her gaze, Josie notices a tinge of red on her cheeks peeking out, too.</p><p>When Josie enters Hope’s apartment, she is immediately astounded by how lavish everything is. The whole apartment resembles a setup that one would see straight out of a magazine page. </p><p>The wood of the floors are a rustic taupe color that seamlessly fits with the stainless steel appliances in her kitchen and the white and gray furniture in her living room. Every item seems to have been carefully chosen to fit the overall encompassing theme, from the fluffy white couch adorned with gray and patterned throw pillows, to the charcoal coffee table situated in front of the flat screen TV hanging on the wall. </p><p>It’s a stark contrast to her friend’s apartments back in Berkeley. Penelope’s apartment is furnished with mismatched furniture, her dining table two shades darker than the chairs, while an old coffee table that was given to her by a graduating senior on the team last year acts as her TV stand. </p><p>It’s moments like these that remind her that Hope and her family are millionaires. </p><p>“You can sit down,” Hope says as she sets her duffel bag down by the shoe rack, immediately breaking Josie out of her daze.</p><p>“Y-yeah. Of course,” she replies as she walks to the couch and plops down. The material is smooth under her skin and the overall structure is what she imagines sitting on a cloud would feel like.</p><p>“Are you still hungover? Do you want any water?” Hope asks as she twists the Mikaelson ring on her finger, her tell when she’s nervous.</p><p>Josie smiles at her thoughtfulness. She wants to decline, not wanting Hope to go out of her way to get her water, but she’s still incredibly dehydrated from the night before. “Yes, that’d be great. Thank you.”</p><p>Hope shoots her a tight-lipped smile and nods before heading to the kitchen.</p><p>Josie expectedly allows her eyes to wander again, wanting to learn as much as she can about the auburn-haired girl through the way her apartment is arranged.</p><p>Her eyes skim over a few pictures of who she assumes are her family members before they lock on Hope’s painting setup of an easel, an artist’s bench, and a cart of art supplies next to the window. </p><p>Without thinking, she stands up from her spot on the couch and walks over to take a closer look. </p><p>Immediately, she notices that the painting on the easel is of a girl with a content smile looking out a window, the scenery outside illustrated in a way that indicates that she’s in some sort of moving vehicle. Her brown hair is tied in a messy braid that reminds her of the braid she usually wears during practice, a smile easing its way onto her face when she registers the coincidence. However, when she catches sight of a sliver of a yellow headband peeking through the dark hair, she recognizes that this isn’t just some random girl that Hope conjured up in her mind. </p><p>It’s her. </p><p>Hope painted her.</p><p>Before she can even process the fact that Hope took an irrelevant and mundane moment in the bus to practice and painted her with careful strokes and staggering realism like she was the damn Mona Lisa, Hope releases a small gasp behind her, causing Josie to abruptly turn around to face her.</p><p>“I-I can explain,” Hope sputters out as she shakily sets the glass of water on the coffee table.</p><p>Josie simply walks over to her until their faces are merely inches away from each other.</p><p>“I love you, too,” Josie whispers softly to emphasize that the words are meant only for Hope.</p><p>Hope releases a shaky breath once she processes Josie’s words, a flash of warmth coloring her eyes. The sight encourages Josie to delicately caress her jaw with her palm. When Hope doesn’t pull away, Josie takes it as a sign to lean in close, her lips brushing against Hope’s like a feather, a shred of hesitance preventing her from committing to fully pressing their lips together. The moment stretches on until Hope closes the infinitesimal distance between them and does it for her, her hand tightly clutching Josie’s waist like she’s afraid that she’s going to push her away again. </p><p>Instead, Josie pulls her closer and deepens the kiss, their lips moving against one another’s like they were made solely for the purpose of kissing each other. </p><p>The moment is unlike any that they’ve shared in the past. It’s not tainted and guilty like the one they shared on the soccer field, nor is it impulsive and desperate like the one they shared the night before. Rather, this kiss is intentional and pure, entirely driven by the love that they were finally able to express to each other without restraint.</p><p> Josie feels centered and complete, like the disarray in her life has momentarily disappeared; like she’s found the missing puzzle piece after years of searching. 

</p><p>It took her a while to find her way, but she’s finally where she’s supposed to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope that was worth the burn ;)</p><p>on another note, you’re all so great and i’d love to have more mutuals to talk about hosie with (and honestly anything else) so feel free to bother me on tumblr if ya want: its-strangee. i have a stan account but it’s entirely women’s soccer related which is super niche, so i figured that it makes more sense to share my personal. i’m always down for a good conversation and my tumblr could use a little more action!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was a fun one to write! get ready for some fluff and post-hosie kiss action ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope’s tongue glides against Josie’s bottom lip, eliciting a light gasp from the brunette. Hope completely takes advantage of the situation and carefully slips her tongue into Josie’s mouth, a stream of euphoria and a rush of adrenaline energizing every atom in her body. </p><p>Hope’s hand that rests on Josie’s waist slowly creeps up her windbreaker before they land on the zipper, the nimble fingers playing with the cool metal before she goes ahead and slowly unzips her jacket. Josie mindlessly shrugs it off, the article of clothing making a soft, almost indiscernible thump, once it hits the ground. As she rejoices in the way Hope’s lips taste an awful lot like lemon Gatorade, a new, almost foreign confidence surges through her, and she starts leading Hope to the couch, their lips still fully latched together.</p><p>When Hope plops down on the cushion, Josie quickly straddles her hips, her hands quickly finding solace on the nape of Hope’s neck. Hope gladly returns the favor by matching Josie’s energy, her hands untucking Josie’s shirt from her jeans to allow her fingers to rake the smooth skin underneath. The action makes Josie’s spine tingle and she thinks about how transcendent it feels to be kissing Hope without the inkling of guilt, fear, or reluctance creeping in the back of her mind.</p><p>She curses that her lungs beg for her to breathe, so she reluctantly breaks the liplock and looks down at Hope for a moment, their eyes locking as brown meets blue. Hope is quietly panting, her cheeks a bright scarlet while her eyes look less like its typical sky-like cerulean and more like a dark and stormy indigo. The sight of her evokes intense and overwhelming affection within Josie that threatens to invade every sense of her being.</p><p>Hope is still rubbing the pads of her fingers against the skin of Josie’s stomach when she finally breaks the deep silence between them.</p><p>“Do you want to go on a date with me?”</p><p>Josie’s eyes widen, her lips slightly parting in surprise. “Right now?”</p><p>Hope offers her a breathy chuckle, the hand that was situated under her shirt now tucking a loose strand of hair behind Josie’s ear and settling itself on her cheek. The brunette’s eyes momentarily close as she revels in the warmth from Hope’s palm emanating through her skin.</p><p>“Yes, right now. Don’t you think we waited long enough?” Hope teases with cloudy eyes and an endearing smile. </p><p>Josie gives Hope a smile so wide it would grant Ebenezer Scrooge the Christmas spirit. “I wouldn’t want anything else in the world.”</p><p>Hope makes Josie stay in her room so she could scramble to gather everything she needs for their impromptu date. Josie pouts, insisting that Hope didn’t need to put much effort into it since she’s done so much for her already, but of course, Hope is too set in her ways to listen.</p><p>When Hope finally collects Josie thirty minutes later, Hope grabs Josie’s hand and gives her a quick peck on the lips before leading her out of her apartment and to her car in the garage. </p><p>When Josie spots Hope’s white Range Rover, her eyes widen at the sight of such a sleek and expensive car. The glossy paint reflects the sunlight in a way that makes it look like a shimmering diamond. </p><p>“You know, sometimes, I forget how rich you are,” she comments as she not only refers to Hope’s car, but also her well-decorated luxury apartment.</p><p>“Trust me, I wouldn’t personally pick something so flashy. My dad insisted after he found out that I got recruited to play for Stanford.”</p><p>“Ah yes, ever the modest one,” Josie says with a smirk. </p><p>“I’m serious! I don’t like flaunting my money. It’s not even mine. It’s my dad’s.” Hope quickly counters to defend herself.  </p><p>“I know, I know. You’re incredibly down to earth. It’s one of the many things I love about you,” Josie teases as she runs her fingers over the vehicle’s smooth metal. </p><p>Hope’s cheeks quickly turn as red as her Stanford t-shirt. “Shut up and get in,” she mumbles in embarrassment before opening her door and getting into the driver’s seat. </p><p>Josie chuckles before getting into the car herself.</p><p>Not even five minutes into the car ride, Josie immediately misses Hope’s warmth so without thinking, she slowly reaches over and timidly touches Hope’s hand as if she’s testing the waters. It catches Hope’s attention, prompting her to shift her focus away from the road for a brief second to look over at Josie. She offers the brunette an amused smile before lacing their fingers, and Josie’s heart warms at the thought of how perfectly they fit together.</p><p>Hope drives for the next forty minutes, the ride consisting mostly of comfortable silence, the soft indie playlist playing through the stereo, and Josie’s occasional question regarding where they’re going. From what she could tell, they’re heading north towards San Francisco, but considering that she’s not from the area, she has trouble figuring out specifically where. Once they drive up a hilly path, Josie finally recognizes where they are.</p><p>“Twin Peaks?”</p><p>“Yeah. I know you haven’t been and I felt like you’d appreciate the view. It’s also the best I could come up with in thirty minutes. I know it’s kind of cliché, but-”</p><p>“What are you talking about? This is amazing. You didn’t have to bring me all the way over here. I would’ve been fine with Netflix and cuddles.”</p><p>Hope scoffs like Josie’s speaking absolute nonsense. “Oh come on, it’s our first date. I have to make it at least a little bit special.”</p><p>Josie playfully rolls her eyes. Hope Mikaelson seems to have a knack for grand gestures.</p><p>When they get out of the car, Hope quickly pops open the trunk and collects several blankets, pillows, and a tote bag. Josie offers to help her carry some of the items, but ever the gentlewoman that she is, Hope insists that she can do it herself.</p><p>While Hope sets everything up, Josie takes a moment to admire the view in front of her. It is already very late into the afternoon, so the sky is starting to show tinges of coral and amber, indicating that they’re quickly approaching golden hour. Off into the distance, Josie can see the dark silhouette of the California hills and the luminescent water of the bay while blocks of gray scatter the foreground. Because of the approaching sunset, some buildings already have their lights turned on, staggered spots of glowing orange creating a mesmerizing constellation below them. </p><p>Once Hope feels content with the setup, she finally allows Josie to sit down. She reaches into the bag and pulls out a container of fruit, a few sandwiches, and two bottles of water.</p><p>“Is this what you were doing while you locked me in your room?” Josie asks, amused but mostly endeared by Hope’s effort.</p><p>“I tried, okay? I want this to be perfect,” Hope says as she offers Josie a strawberry from the container.</p><p>She will readily admit that any moment that she spends with Hope is perfect, but as she sits and admires the view in front of her and reflects on their impeccable timing in catching the sunset in one of San Francisco’s most sought out lookout points, she admits that everything about the day has indeed fallen perfectly into place.</p><p>She happily takes a strawberry and bites into it, a smile adorning her face when the sweet flesh of the fruit touches her tongue. “It already is, silly.”</p><p>They eat their sandwiches, enjoy the view, and talk about mundane things like Hope’s bruise on her shin from a brutal slide tackle during training that afternoon and the hickey on Penelope’s neck that Josie noticed that morning. They skid around the topic of Josie getting drunk and Hope confessing her deeply-rooted feelings for her, both girls not wanting to ruin the delicate bubble that they’ve placed themselves in yet.</p><p>Once Hope finishes clearing out the containers and trash, she opens her arms up, a silent offer to cuddle with Josie. Of course, the brunette accepts without hesitation.</p><p>She burrows her face into Hope’s neck, much like she did last night, but because she’s sober, she can fully enjoy Hope’s warmth and the sound of the comforting thud of her heartbeat. They stay like that for a moment, just taking each other in. </p><p>“You know, we never really talked about last night. You kind of just kissed me,” Hope finally says, a blatantly direct reference to the events from the night before.</p><p>Josie chuckles into Hope’s chest and places a gentle kiss on her neck. “I really did want to talk. I didn’t expect to see a painting of me in a discreet little corner in your living room though. I couldn’t really help myself after that.” </p><p>Hope groans in embarrassment as she shields her face with her arm. “You weren’t supposed to see that. In fact, I would’ve been perfectly content with the fact that you never would.”</p><p>Josie sits up and gently moves Hope’s arm away from her face, the auburn-haired girl’s flushed cheeks suddenly making an appearance. “Why are you embarrassed? It’s beautiful.”</p><p>Hope follows suit and sits up, allowing her palms to dig into the ground to support her. “I don’t know, I just felt like I was invading your privacy or something. I’ve had all these feelings for you that I tucked away and I needed some sort of outlet to help me deal with them and that painting just...happened.”</p><p>Josie frowns as she remembers that Hope’s been keeping her true feelings hidden from her for years. Meanwhile, she only experienced these intense feelings for a few months and it ate her alive. Suddenly, Hope’s words play in her mind again and it reminds her of how much she fucked up last night.</p><p>“I’m sorry for getting drunk last night,” she starts as she twiddles her fingers. “I felt threatened by Roman and I made an incredibly stupid and impulsive decision.”</p><p>“Josie,” Hope sighs.</p><p>“I know. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I didn’t mean to cause you any pain,” she shamefully says as she thinks back to the pain in Hope’s voice when she told her she was going to try to move on. </p><p>“It’s okay. I think if anything, I was the impulsive one. I didn’t plan on spilling all of that to you last night.” </p><p>“Well, I’m glad you did because it helped me realize that I was going to lose you,” Josie says as she reaches over and plays with Hope’s fingers. “I couldn’t let that happen. You mean too much to me.” She sighs as she remembers how certain and unwavering Hope has been of her feelings while she was the opposite. “I’m sorry that it took awhile for me to figure it out.”</p><p>“Don’t be. We’re here now, aren’t we?” Hope tenderly reassures her.</p><p>“I just—did you really like me for that long?” Josie asks her like she can’t quite believe it herself.</p><p>“Yes, I did,” Hope readily admits. “Ever since you cheered me up during that game when I was 8 and you were 7, I was smitten.” </p><p>Josie releases a drawn out breath as she digs deep into her memories. “I remember that, you know.”</p><p>Hope quirks an eyebrow in surprise. She thought it was something that flew past Josie. “You do?”</p><p>Josie nods. “I was drawn to you. That’s why I came up to you in the first place.” She feels a comforting nostalgia run through her as she recounts the fond childhood memory.  “I think there was something there. I forgot about it once the rivalry between us got too intense and with the injury…” she trails her thought, a familiar guilt suddenly making its way to her gut again. “Can I ask you something?” she asks as she releases Hope’s fingers and looks down at her lap. </p><p>Hope’s eyebrows furrow at Josie’s sudden change in tone and demeanor. “Yeah, of course. What is it?”</p><p>“Did you forgive me so easily because you had feelings for me?” she asks so timidly that she seems like a child that’s afraid of getting in trouble. </p><p>Hope doesn’t answer her immediately. In fact, she takes her time to think about her answer and for some reason, it makes Josie nervous.</p><p>“To some degree, yes. But I think that’s expected, right?”</p><p>Josie’s heart drops. She doesn’t deserve to be taken off the hook so easily. “Oh.”</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking and I’m telling you right now to stop. You’re wrong. Ignoring my feelings, I knew enough about you to think that your anger wasn’t out of pure malice. It was out of hurt. Yes, it was misplaced, and yes, I didn’t deserve it, but if it helped you cope, I was more than willing to be your punching bag,” Hope says with slight force, like she’s trying to drill into Josie’s brain that she’s okay with everything that’s happened.</p><p>It doesn’t really sit right with her, though. “But that doesn’t make it okay.” </p><p>Hope tilts her head in concern, a small frown appearing on her face.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring this up again, I just—” Josie recoils, not wanting to ruin their perfect date. “I’m still trying to process the fact that you’ve had feelings for me for this long and I hate that I wasn’t able to see it. In fact, I made things worse for you.”</p><p>Hope shakes her head like she disagrees with her. “I don’t think you should be quick to blame yourself, Jo. We were born into different social classes and that itself already opened up an ugly can of worms. We went to schools that are involved in probably the most intense high school rivalry in the state of Virginia, we both play an incredibly competitive sport, and Dana just so happens to be a narcissistic sociopath and you became collateral damage. Yes, everything snowballed, but don’t you realize that if none of that shit happened, we wouldn’t be together?”</p><p>Josie remains silent as she digests Hope’s words, the last part giving her chills. She doesn’t want to think about living in a world in which she doesn’t love Hope. It seems like a dull and terrible world to live in, really.</p><p>“If you went to UNC, you wouldn’t have met Landon and by association, we wouldn’t have tried to become friends. You can argue that we would see each other in the U-20s because you’re an amazing player and you’d undoubtedly get called up, but you and I both know that nothing would’ve happened, much like nothing did when we were in high school.” </p><p>Hope brushes her fingers against Josie’s jaw and gently tilts her head up so Josie can’t avoid her gaze.</p><p>“As unfortunate as your injury was, it tethers us together, and I’m willing to embrace everything that came out of that, both the good and the bad.” Hope pauses and looks right into Josie’s eyes. “Do you understand why I’m so willing to let go of the past now?” she gently asks, her voice a notch lower than before.</p><p>In a moment of clarity, Josie can finally see it. She can finally see where Hope’s been coming from this whole time. She can finally see that she shouldn’t treat the setbacks and obstacles that she’s experienced during the past few years of her life like they’re a curse because that’s not what they are. In fact, they’re blessings. They led her here: to this place, to this time, to this moment, with Hope. </p><p>Josie’s never been good with words, so she shows Hope just how much she means to her the way she knows how: by leaning in and kissing her with renewed fervor.</p><p>“I hate how good you are with words, damn it,” Josie playfully curses once she pulls away, earning her a soft chuckle from Hope. “I don’t think I can ever match that, but I don’t want you to ever forget this: I love you. I really really do.”</p><p>“I know you do, Josie,” Hope says with a gentle smile and a confidence that brings Josie contentedness and relief. “I love you, too.” </p><p>Josie knows that, too.</p><p>---</p><p>It’s dark by the time Hope drives Josie back to Berkeley. </p><p>The rest of the date consisted of cuddles and lazy kisses as they waited for the sunset and when it finally came, it took Josie’s breath away. The typically blue sky turned into a seamless gradient of purples, oranges, yellows, and pinks while more spots of amber flickered on below them, the sight reminding her of a crackling campfire. </p><p>The sunset felt holy, like it was painted by God himself, and it was almost as beautiful as the girl who was watching it with her. </p><p>Once Hope parks in front of her dorm, Josie pouts, sad that their perfect day is over.</p><p>“Do you want to come in? Lizzie’s probably out with Sebastian,” she offers as she desperately tries to prolong their date. “We can cuddle for a bit. I know how much you like that.”</p><p>“Ugh, don’t tempt me,” Hope groans. “You and I both know that if I do that, I won’t go back to Stanford. It’s the first day of classes tomorrow, Jo.”</p><p>“I know,” she sighs. “I just wanted to try.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Hope apologizes with a pout that would give Josie’s a run for its money.</p><p>Josie cups Hope’s cheek and leans in for a parting kiss. Before it gets too deep, she pulls away, much to Hope’s annoyance.</p><p>“Make out with me,” Hope whines as her hand settles on Josie’s waist and she tries to lean back in.</p><p>Instead, Josie leans away from her to tease her. “This is so junior year of high school.”</p><p>Hope quirks an eyebrow. “And who were you making out with during your junior year of high school?”</p><p>Josie playfully rolls her eyes at Hope’s lighthearted jealousy. “You’re ridiculous.”</p><p>Before Hope can come up with a snarky reply, Josie captures her lips with her own, finally complying to her wishes.</p><p>It doesn’t take long for things to get heated. </p><p>With her lips still locked on Hope’s, Josie unbuckles her seatbelt and she tries her best to gracefully climb over the divider between them so she could straddle Hope’s hips much like she did on the couch at Hope’s apartment several hours ago. </p><p>She’s barely settled on Hope’s lap when there’s a sharp knock on the driver side window and the unwelcome noise causes her to flinch backwards, her back harshly banging against the steering wheel behind her.</p><p>“Ow! Fuck!” she yelps in pain, her hand quickly rubbing the spot on her back that the steering wheel dug into. </p><p>When she looks to identify the asshole who interrupted her makeout session with Hope, she’s met with a very angry Lizzie Saltzman and an amused Penelope Park standing just behind her. </p><p>“Fuck, indeed,” Hope quips as she throws Lizzie and Penelope a timid wave and sheepish smile.</p><p>“Jesus, this cannot be real,” Josie mutters as she opens the door and stumbles out of the car. Lizzie steps back to give her space.</p><p>“Why the hell haven’t you been answering your phone?” Lizzie infuriatingly asks once Josie stands in front of her. “I’ve been worried sick!”</p><p>“Well, hello to you too, dear sister,” Josie sarcastically greets. “I was busy.”</p><p>“Yeah, shoving your tongue down Hope’s throat! How the hell did <em>that</em> happen?!” </p><p>Penelope raises her hand and pipes up from behind her twin. “I would also like to know how that happened.” </p><p>Josie groans as she runs her hand through her hair in annoyance. “I’ll explain it to both of you later, okay?” she exasperatedly says to calm them, but mostly Lizzie, down. “Now, can you both go back inside so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend?”</p><p>“B-but—“ Lizzie sputters as she rapidly shifts her eyes between Hope and Josie. </p><p>Josie shoots her a pointed look, a silent demand for her to drop it.</p><p>“Ugh, fine!” Lizzie huffs before she stomps back into the dorms. Penelope wiggles her eyebrows at her before following her sister and Josie resists the strong urge to throw her the finger.</p><p>When Josie turns back around, she finds Hope leaning against her car with her arms crossed, a stupidly smug smirk sitting on her face. “Girlfriend, huh?” </p><p>Josie’s heart drops once she realizes her slip-up and her lips part in shock. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. I get it if you want to take things slow, I-”</p><p>“I’ve been waiting for you to call me that all day. About time you finally did.”</p><p>Josie immediately feels blood rush to her cheeks upon hearing Hope’s words. She’s lucky that the darkness is able to mask her smoldering embarrassment. </p><p>Hope pushes herself off her car, cradles Josie’s jaw with her smooth palm, and leans in for a short and sweet goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Thank you for the perfect day.”</p><p>Josie is still speechless when Hope gets back into her car and drives away. Before she fully turns into the street, she gives Josie a wave, the brunette immediately returning the gesture as she holds her hand up in a daze. </p><p>It only hits her once Hope’s driven far enough for her not to see her prominently white car on the street anymore.</p><p>“Hope Mikaelson is my girlfriend,” she whispers to herself like it’s a closely guarded secret.</p><p>It feels damn good to say it out loud.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope y'all liked that heehee</p><p>on another note: lol ik i shared my tumblr last chapter, but i wanted to see what the hype was around hosie twitter so i browsed around and it certainly didn’t disappoint. y’all are fucking wild (in a good way).</p><p>i’m joining in on the fun, so follow me @kelleybrohara5 if you’re down.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is so late and i am so sorry. i’ve been working so many overtime hours and i'm convinced that it fried literally the only two brain cells i have left bc this took so much out of me to write. but it's fine bc i want to continue this and i somehow finished the chapter, so here it is! also ty in advance to the people who are still reading this bc i've been ass at updating oop</p><p>anyway, enjoy lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After dazedly standing outside of her dorm like a true lovestruck fool, Josie finally decides that it’s a good idea to head back inside. When she opens the door to her room, she’s more than ready to be bombarded with questions from Penelope and her dear sister. However, she’s confused when she sees that it’s empty, her suitcase propped up next to her bed, but the two girls nowhere in sight. </p><p>When she reluctantly shuts the door behind her, her questions are cruelly answered. </p><p>“You look like you finally got laid.”</p><p>“Jesus, Lizzie!” Josie exclaims as she clutches her chest to calm her rapid heartbeat. “What the hell are you two doing behind the door?!”</p><p>Lizzie ignores her and grabs her arm, leading her to sit on her bed while the two girls sit across from her on Lizzie’s bed.</p><p>“Did you?” Lizzie sharply presses with insistent eyes.</p><p>Josie narrows her eyes and crosses her arms. “Did I <em>what</em>?”</p><p>Penelope scoffs at Josie’s insensibility. “You know,” she starts. “Did you score <em>the</em> goal?”</p><p>The brunette’s eyes widen when it dawns on her, blood immediately rushing to her cheeks. “What? No! Who do you think I am?” she exclaims. “We literally <em>just</em> got together!”</p><p>“That is <em>not</em> what we saw ten minutes ago, Josette!” Lizzie chimes in without a beat. “You better tell us what the hell happened.” </p><p>Josie sighs as she rubs the bridge of her nose. She can feel a major migraine starting to set in. “At least tell me that Penelope filled you in on what she knows.”</p><p>“Surprisingly, she did,” Lizzie informs her. “And this is the first time that her and I had a conversation without killing each other so you better do it justice by spilling <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Josie sighs as she comes to terms with the fact that Lizzie and Penelope aren't going to let this go regardless of how exhausted she is. She literally woke up hungover, busted her ass to Stanford the second she landed in California, won Hope back, went on a date with her, and indirectly asked her to be her girlfriend in a single day. Now, on top of that, she’s dealing with <em>this</em> situation.</p><p>But honestly, she is willing to relive it, so yes, she tells them everything. She tells them about how she nervously waited by Hope’s door, how she saw Hope’s painting of her tucked in a discreet corner of her living room, how she finally told her she loved her, and how they went on the perfect date to watch the sunset. </p><p>When she finishes recounting her eventful day, she realizes that there’s a stupidly wistful grin on her face and she quickly tries to downplay it, but the damage has been done because Lizzie and Penelope look at her with smug expressions and sharp smirks. </p><p>“God, you are <em>so</em> soft for her!” Penelope exclaims with a shit-eating grin on her face. </p><p>“Shut up,” Josie murmurs as she grabs a pillow from behind her and chucks it at her. “No, I’m not.”</p><p>She is not soft. She’s Josie Saltzman: Cal’s star forward, U-20 National Team starter, and a force to be reckoned with on the field. Her opponents are terrified of her for fuck’s sake! She’s not soft for Hope Mikaelson. She’s not. </p><p>Penelope smoothly catches the pillow, much to Josie’s displeasure. “Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.”</p><p>Josie is about to respond with a snarky response so she could defend her image but is abruptly interrupted when Penelope continues her thought.</p><p>“I’m happy for you and I’m glad I was able to knock some sense into you,” she teases, an underlying tinge of affection coating her tone.</p><p>Josie offers her a shy, appreciative smile, a subtle blush gracing her cheeks. Now that Hope is finally hers, she can see how much of an idiot she’s been the past few weeks. She’s glad that Penelope didn’t give up on her because she gave up on herself a while ago. She knows for a fact that she would have lost Hope if she didn’t act quickly. Hope’s little monologue when she passed out was a testament to that.</p><p>“You okay there, Liz?” Josie asks as she shifts her attention on her sister whose mouth is still agape while her eyes are wide in surprise. “What do you think?” </p><p>Lizzie finally closes her mouth and mulls over her thoughts for a moment, Josie still waiting on her feedback in anticipation. Lizzie’s been her rock ever since they were born and her approval of her relationship with Hope bears more weight than anyone in her life. </p><p>“I didn’t like her 2 years ago,”  Lizzie starts. “I might have even hated her. But you knew that, right?”</p><p>Josie gulps. The conversation is taking a turn that she didn’t like, but she can’t say she’s surprised. She’s cleared Hope’s name by explaining to everyone what <em>really</em> happened, but that doesn’t change the fact that Hope’s body is the one that collided into hers that fateful night. Josie has long forgiven Hope for that, but Lizzie’s a little tougher to penetrate. She doesn’t know Hope like Josie does, so it makes sense that she still holds a bit of a grudge. </p><p>“Yeah, I did,” she sighs, dread pooling her stomach. “But-”</p><p>Lizzie places a comforting hand on Josie’s arm, interrupting Josie’s attempt in trying to convince her sister that she should support her relationship with Hope. “I’m not done, Jo,” she says with a soft chuckle.</p><p>“Oh,” Josie murmurs. “Um, go ahead.”</p><p>“I was just gonna say that yes, I may have hated her and you can’t blame me right? You weren’t yourself when you were recovering and I was under the impression that she did this to you. So it’s kind of a lot for me to see your relationship go from that to <em>this</em>,” she explains as she gestures to their relationship with her hands. </p><p><em>Understandable</em>, Josie thinks.</p><p>“You weren’t yourself for the year that you were trying to recover and it hurt to see you that way,” she continues. Josie offers her a sad smile as she thinks back to when she first lost the one thing that gave her life meaning. “But, ever since Hope made a reappearance in your life, you’re the closest you’ve been to being yourself again.” Lizzie finally reveals. “Who am I to say no to that? I’m glad you found her. She’s good for you.”</p><p>Josie’s stomach jumps at Lizzie’s words, a radiating warmth spreading through her chest. She used to be a shell of who she was as she painfully navigated through her ACL injury. There were many painful and frustrating physical therapy sessions as she rebuilt her body back to its original state. To make matters worse, her mental health was at an all time low as she tried coping with the fact that she may never play again. Even when she was able to recover and could return to the field, she wasn’t the same Josie Saltzman as before. She was a diluted version herself—one that would hesitate before committing to a risky tackle, one that would brutally scrutinize herself whenever she missed a goal or made a bad play, and one that would bitterly brood for hours over everything she’s lost. But now? Well, Josie’s never been so full of life...and it’s all because of Hope.</p><p>An overwhelming happiness consumes her and without thinking, she’s tackling Lizzie in a huge bear hug. “Thanks, Liz,” she murmurs into her sister’s shoulder.</p><p>“Of course,” Lizzie assures her as she rubs her sister’s back. “Besides, the real test is seeing if mom approves.”</p><p>Josie’s eyes widen as she pulls away from their embrace and releases a loud groan, a grandiose smirk on Lizzie’s face. Meanwhile, the sound of Penelope’s soft snickers are discernable next to her.</p><p>“Okay, that’s where I draw the line. We are definitely <em>not</em> talking about that right now.”</p><p>---</p><p>With the start of the new semester, Hope and Josie didn’t have much time to spend together in person because they were both adjusting to their new schedules and caught up with the start of winter training. However, their schedules seemed to have plateaued after two weeks, giving Hope time to visit Josie at Berkeley. </p><p>They’re sitting at a table in a discreet corner at Brewed Awakening, Josie’s favorite coffee shop on the north side of campus. Josie figured that it was smart to make her time with Hope productive by doing some homework together. She was also trying to take things slow. She knows that if she were to go to Stanford and stay with Hope at her apartment where they would very much be <em>alone</em>, she wouldn’t have any self control seeing as they probably would’ve gone <em>pretty</em> far in Hope’s car if Lizzie didn’t interrupt them. Their relationship is new and it took <em>a lot</em> for them to get where they are, and she didn’t want to mess that up. </p><p>“You were not screwing around when you said that this was good,” Hope raves as she takes another sip of her coffee.</p><p>Josie smirks as she taps her pencil on her notebook. “I told you,” she teases. “You shouldn’t question my taste. My tastebuds are simply superior.”</p><p>Hope quirks an eyebrow. “Okay, I wouldn’t go that far, baby. This is good, but not as good as the chicory coffee from Cafe Du Monde.”</p><p>Josie’s heart briefly flutters at the pet name, an incriminating blush making its way to her cheeks. Hope immediately notices it, her lips forming into a teasing smirk. She knew <em>exactly</em> what she was doing, and Josie doesn’t know whether to be impressed or terrified at how much Hope has her wrapped around her finger.</p><p>Ultimately, Josie’s stubbornness prevails because she huffs, ready to bite back a snarky quip to mask her flustered state and defend her coffee preference. However, her words quickly die in her throat as she suddenly catches sight of dark, curly hair entering the shop.</p><p>When Hope realizes that Josie’s attention is now focused somewhere else, her smirk immediately falters, a look of concern replacing it. “Jo? Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.”</p><p>“I might as well have,” Josie distractedly mumbles as she watches Landon go up to the counter to order a drink.</p><p>Hope furrows her eyebrows in confusion and turns around so she could see what Josie was staring at in the first place. In a panic, Josie tugs on her girlfriend’s wrist to catch her attention and prevent her from completely turning her body.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Josie hisses. “I don’t want him to see us.”</p><p>“What? Who?” Hope asks, still oblivious to what's happening.</p><p>“Landon just came in,” she harshly whispers as if Landon would hear her from the other side of the room.</p><p>Realization quickly dawns on Hope’s face, like reality has finally popped the bubble that they’ve been isolated in during the past two weeks. “Oh.”</p><p>Josie’s still watching Landon’s every move, making sure that he doesn’t glance their way. She nervously holds her hand up to her forehead as a way to disguise her face and prevent him from recognizing her from afar.</p><p>She wants to give him space so he can clear his head and she can try to mend their broken friendship. But, seeing his ex-girlfriend with the girl she left him for isn’t the best situation to be in, especially when said girl used to be someone he considered his best friend. All rationale would get thrown out the window and there’s no way Landon would ever agree to give Josie a chance again. The wounds are still fresh. </p><p>It’s not like she’s ashamed to be with Hope. That’s not it at all. If anything, she wants to yell it out from the rooftops and let the whole world know, but she doesn’t want to hurt Landon because she knows how painful it is to be in his position. If anything, she knows how it feels from first-hand experience. After all, she watched Hope and Landon be together for weeks while trying to ignore how she feels.</p><p>Once Landon steps towards the pick up counter and grabs his drink, Josie watches him with bated breath, secretly hoping that he doesn’t decide to stay and do his work in the coffee shop. She visibly sighs in relief once she sees him cap his drink after adding cream and sugar and head out. He was probably just making a quick coffee run before his lecture.</p><p>“I’m guessing he left?” Hope pipes up in front of her, promptly bringing Josie’s attention back to her.</p><p>“Yeah,” Josie affirms with a relieved chuckle. “Close one.”</p><p>Unfortunately for Josie, her girlfriend doesn’t look too impressed with her. </p><p>“Why are you looking at me like that?” she defensively asks.</p><p>“Nothing,” Hope sighs back. “It’s nothing.”</p><p>Josie immediately frowns at Hope’s dismissive reply. She doesn’t like that this conversation is starting to feel like the beginning of an argument. “Oh come on, it’s obviously something.”</p><p>Hope seems to mull over what she wants to say next, almost like she’s approaching the situation like she’s handling delicate porcelain and if she were to move too aggressively, everything would break. “Don’t you think it’s time to talk to Landon about <em>this</em>?”</p><p>Josie might as well shut down, her mind having a very averse reaction to Hope’s proposition. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Josie shortly replies. She hopes that her clipped tone is enough to end the conversation and transition it to something she <em>actually</em> wants to talk about. </p><p>“Okay, I understand where you’re coming from, but listen to me, please?” Hope pleads.</p><p>Josie’s stubbornness makes a reappearance because she shifts her attention to her computer screen, ignoring Hope’s attempt in discussing the whole Landon situation with her.</p><p>“Jo, come on,” Hope prods as she reaches across the table and lifts Josie’s chin, a way to get her to look at her. </p><p>“Okay, fine. I’ll listen,” Josie quickly relents once her brown eyes lock with Hope’s blue irises. Hope’s touch immediately turned her into a puddle, her resolve quickly crumbling away like it was never there in the first place.</p><p>Hope gives her a triumphant smile, Josie resisting the urge to playfully roll her eyes at how insistent Hope is in getting what she wants and how willing she is to give that to her with little to no resistance. Is she whipped? Maybe. But, she’ll never admit to that out loud.</p><p>“I know that you might not feel ready to tell him, but the news is going to get to him eventually. Don’t you think it’s better for the two of you to sit down and talk through everything? I feel like he’ll be less likely to forgive you if he heard about us from somewhere else,” Hope explains. “Lizzie and Penelope already know and I’m not saying that they’ll spill the news to the boys, but it’s not like we’re being subtle either.”</p><p>As much as it pains for her to admit it, Hope has a point. Landon has friends outside of their group and if Hope makes a regular appearance on campus, one of them is bound to see them and the news will eventually reach him whether she likes it or not. Berkeley may be a big school, but you’d be surprised at how small it can be when it comes to social circles. </p><p>“I know. You’re right,” Josie admits. “But it’s hard, okay? I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have.”</p><p>“You’ll hurt him more if he doesn’t hear this from you, Jo,” Hope says, as she grabs Josie’s hand and plays with her fingers. “If it makes you feel better, I think that deep inside, he knows that you and I were inevitably gonna get together. It was just a matter of how soon.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“Yes,” Hope insists. “Didn’t you?”</p><p>She was fighting something she was never going to win. Amidst all the mess, Hope and her were supposed to get together and the universe didn’t care about anything that was in their way. </p><p>A crooked smile makes it way to her face.</p><p>“Yeah, I did.”</p><p>---</p><p>Even though Hope was right, Josie made it a point to push back the opportunity to talk to Landon as much as she could. However, she realizes she can’t put it off anymore when Penelope offers to host game night at her apartment with her friends. Penelope tells her that Landon will be there and assures her that he knows that she’ll be there too. As much as Josie wants to skip it in favor of a lazy night in with Hope, she knows that this is an opportunity that she can’t pass up. Besides, having her friends there can act like a buffer, should she decide to pull him aside to talk.</p><p>Once Josie and Hope arrive at Penelope’s apartment, Lizzie and Penelope are already there, setting everything up in the living room. It’s weird that her sister and her sort-of-ex are now willingly spending time together, especially when they obviously <em>didn’t</em> like each other when they first met, but Josie doesn’t mind it one bit. Her relationship troubles seem to have created a bond between them and it’s nice for everyone, well almost everyone, to get along. It’s peaceful.</p><p>It isn’t surprising that the boys are late again, so they all decide to make their drinks so they could sip on them while waiting for them to arrive. Hope even went out of her way to bring a bottle of bourbon from New Orleans, given to her by her father during the holiday break.</p><p>With her curiosity piqued, Josie plops down on the couch next to Hope and grabs her girlfriend’s glass of bourbon without bothering to ask for permission so she could take a sip.</p><p>“Eugh,” she groans after the bitter liquid touches her tongue and stings her throat, her face scrunching in disgust. “How do you drink this stuff? I hate it.”</p><p>Hope rolls her eyes with an amused smile. “I’m from New Orleans, sweetheart. It’s an acquired taste,” she explains as she takes the glass back from Josie and takes a hearty sip.</p><p>“Well, it’s not my fault I have amazing taste in alcohol,” Josie tuts. “Classy, if you will.”</p><p>“Okay,” Hope draws out. “I’ll make sure to remember that the next time you drink a vodka cranberry.”</p><p>Josie gasps and places a hand on her chest, feigning offense. “If you really knew me, you’d know that my drink of choice is a rum and coke, not a vodka cranberry.”</p><p>Hope scoffs at Josie’s dramatics. “Of course I remember. That’s what you were making when we ran into each other at that frat party, remember? Back when you hated me?”</p><p>Suddenly, the conversation is shifting away from lighthearted banter to something much more serious. Josie quickly drops her facade, vulnerability quickly crossing her expression. “You really remember that?”</p><p>“Of course I do. I couldn’t stop staring at you because I was shocked to see you. I didn’t think we’d see each other again after everything that happened,” Hope reveals with a wistful smile on her face as she recounts the memory. “I honestly can’t even believe that we’re here now.”</p><p>Josie smiles back, immense contentment flooding every crevice of her body as she hears Hope’s perspective the night they’ve crossed paths for the first time in years—the night that everything changed. She can almost feel the way her skin burned when Hope couldn't keep her eyes away from her that night. “Me neither. I never really saw you coming, but I suppose the best things in life come that way."</p><p>“Right,” Hope concurs with an endearing smile, her eyes quickly flitting to Josie’s lips. </p><p>Josie grins before leaning in, kissing Hope like Lizzie and Penelope aren’t just a room away, preparing drinks and snacks in the kitchen. </p><p>The kiss was meant to be chaste, but when Hope snakes her arms around Josie’s hips to pull her closer, Josie wraps her arm around Hope’s neck in response, inadvertently deepening the kiss and muddling their awareness to their surroundings. </p><p>The only thing that anchors them back to reality is the sound of the doorknob turning followed by a loud, deep voice filling the air.</p><p>“We’re here, Pen!” the voice exclaims. Josie barely has time to figure out if it belongs to Rafael or MG because her first instinct is to abruptly pull away from Hope, a feeble attempt to disguise the compromising position that they were just in.</p><p>Josie knows it’s too late when she locks eyes with Landon’s gray ones, a flash of hurt and something else she can’t discern crossing his face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry if there wasn't much "action" in this one. it was pretty dialogue heavy because the whole Landon situation had to be addressed eventually. but hopefully this was enough hosie interaction? i know how i want the next chapter to go so hopefully the next update doesn't take 4 weeks lol oop</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the wait...but it's not 4 weeks long this time so i count that as a win lmao</p><p>this chapter was brought to you by me streaming folklore non-stop while writing this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope doesn’t register what’s happening around them until she’s suddenly devoid of Josie’s warmth. It feels like someone dumped cold water on her and mercilessly woke her up from her Josie-filled dreamscape of gentle touches and soft lips. </p><p>Josie is frozen, looking as pale as a ghost as she cautiously stares at someone behind her. It’s very reminiscent of the panic written all over her face when they were studying at the coffee shop a few days ago. Hope doesn’t have to turn around to know that Landon’s shooting daggers at the back of her head.</p><p>“That didn’t take long,” he coldly says as he remains in his spot by the door. It’s quite a vague statement but everybody in the room knew exactly what he was talking about.</p><p>Upon hearing his tone, Hope turns around and narrows her eyes at him. She understands that he’s upset, but she doesn’t quite appreciate how passive aggressive he’s being, especially when her girlfriend looks scared shitless right next to her.</p><p>Instinctively, she laces her fingers with Josie’s to provide her some comfort during this <em>incredibly</em> uncomfortable situation. </p><p>Josie is still at a loss for words and Hope can see that Landon is impatiently waiting for her to say something.  MG looks like he wants to be anywhere but there and Rafael is unable to look at them in the eye, so they’re not really helping either. She’s opening her mouth to say <em>something</em>, <em>anything</em> to cut through the tension, when Lizzie and Penelope saunter in like there isn’t a damn war brewing in the room.</p><p>“Oh good, you guys finally made it,” Penelope says with slight annoyance at their tardiness. </p><p>“Yeah, well we’re just about to leave,” Landon sneers as he makes a move to turn the doorknob.</p><p>Hope scoffs because <em>of course</em> he’s running away again. It’s what he’s been doing since this all went down in December. She could care less about what he thinks of her but she knows how much their friendship means to Josie, so she keeps her mouth shut.</p><p>“Um, no you’re not,” Penelope bites back as she rushes to the door and blocks the exit. </p><p>“Get out of my way, Pen,” Landon demands with gritted teeth. “I don’t want to be here.”</p><p>“Landon, calm down,” MG says as he walks over to the curly-haired boy and rests his hand on his shoulder. “Come on, we haven’t hung out as a group in months. Let’s try to be civil here.” He looks over at Rafael for assistance, but Hope knows that he’s probably going to side with his step brother. </p><p>Raf conflictingly shifts his gaze to Hope and Josie for a brief moment before focusing on Landon again.</p><p>“He’s right, bro,” he agrees. “Besides, you don’t have to acknowledge them,” he whispers so Hope and Josie don’t hear it. </p><p>Hope’s always had sharp hearing, so she hears him loud and clear, but Josie doesn’t seem to, so she decides to keep that part of the conversation to herself, seeing as she doesn’t want to stress the brunette out even more.</p><p>“Let’s not ruin this, okay?” he continues with a warning tone. </p><p>Landon looks around the room and sees everyone staring at him, including Josie who’s trying to hide the fact that she’s staring by periodically flicking her gaze to her hand linked with Hope’s. Hope softens at the sight, her thumb rubbing the back of Josie’s hand to ease the tension that’s undoubtedly running through her girlfriend’s muscles. </p><p>“Fine,” he relents as he lets go of the doorknob and stomps into the room. He doesn’t acknowledge Hope and Josie who have now scooted to one side of the couch to make room for the boys when he grabs the bottle of vodka from the coffee table and pours a hefty amount in his red solo cup.</p><p>“Well, now that that’s settled. Pictionary, anyone?” Penelope chirps as she claps her hands in excitement. </p><p>---</p><p>The first few rounds of the game were relatively harmless. They’ve split teams by gender because Penelope wants to “end misogyny for good.” MG complained that it was an unfair matchup because there were only three guys while there were four girls, but he quickly shut up when Sebastian showed up a few minutes later due to lacrosse practice going much later than he expected.</p><p>It doesn’t take long for Sebastian to assimilate into the group, Landon and Rafael apparently taking a liking to him immediately. Rafael could quickly relate to him seeing as they’re both student-athletes at the school while Landon was more than happy to channel all of his energy into talking to someone who <em>wasn’t</em> a part of the whole Josie debacle. The girls also warm up to him quickly, finding his British charm endearing. </p><p>On the other hand, MG looks incredibly uncomfortable and Hope notices that he seems to shift his gaze elsewhere whenever Lizzie affectionately grabs onto Sebastian’s arm or gives him a chaste kiss. She makes a mental note to ask him about it later considering that nobody else in the room seems to get a read on his body language.</p><p>The girls are currently leading 2-0 thanks to Hope’s insanely realistic drawing skills and Penelope’s synergy with the rest of her team. </p><p>Lizzie’s currently drawing what looks like a deformed bird of some sort, its feathers sticking up in different directions, while Rafael is drawing two stick figures and frantically pointing to one of them. Hope’s at a loss for what the hell they could be drawing because their illustrations are just so different and she could tell that the boys are struggling as well.</p><p>“Father and son!” Landon yells out.</p><p>Rafael vigorously shakes his head and points at the same stick figure again before adding something to its hand.</p><p>“Playing fetch!” MG answers with embarrassing confidence before Rafael groans in frustration.</p><p>“MG, what the hell? There’s no dog!” Penelope chimes in while snickering.</p><p>“Shut up,” MG mumbles as he crosses his arms and pouts.</p><p>“Lizzie, that looks like a bird,” Josie points out but is met with a shake of the head from her sister. “If that’s not it, what else could it be?”</p><p>Realization dawns on Penelope, a shit-eating grin making its way to her face. “Landon!”</p><p>“Yes!” Lizzie yells out as she throws her arms up in celebration.</p><p>“Hey!” Landon exclaims. “How is <em>that</em> supposed to be me?”</p><p>“Oh shut up, Tweety. Your hair is basically a bird’s nest and you’re so lanky that you look like you have chicken legs,” Lizzie explains like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It was a no brainer.”</p><p>“I was drawing a guitar in his hand! For fuck’s sake, I thought that was gonna clear everything up!” Rafael groans in frustration as he hands Landon the marker. </p><p>“You know, when we decided to throw in custom words, this is <em>not</em> what I envisioned,” Landon grumbles as he gets up from his seat and walks to the front of the living room.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Penelope brushes him off. “All that matters is that we’re winning!” she exclaims with borderline maniacal laughter. It’s scary how competitive a team of four girls playing a division 1 sport can be. And although they’re division 1 athletes too, Rafael and Sebastian’s competitive streak is no match for theirs.</p><p>“Okay, Jo, it’s your turn,” Lizzie says as she hands Josie the marker and pulls her sister up from the couch.</p><p>“Great,” Landon mutters under his breath. This time, Josie hears him because she sighs as she walks up to stand next to him and it takes a lot for Hope not to say something. She doesn’t want to escalate this into something ugly after all. </p><p>After drawing a slip of paper from the bowl, Landon quirks an eyebrow and smirks when he sees the word. He hastily hands it to Josie whose eyebrows are furrowed after reading it herself. </p><p>When the timer starts, Landon’s marker quickly meets the paper in smooth strokes, like he’s planned what to draw the entire time. </p><p>“Damn it Lan, not again with the stick figures,” MG whines as he throws his hands up.</p><p>He ignores him and keeps drawing. Hope tries her best to ignore him, but she’s so curious as to why he was so smug when he read the word that was on the piece of paper. She supposes it’s a “hilarious” inside joke that only the boys will be able to understand, much like the last round with Penelope guessing Landon for Lizzie’s terrible bird drawing. </p><p>When she shifts her gaze over to Josie’s board, she’s drawing some sort of sharp stick, but she can’t tell what it is. She loves her girlfriend very much, but she will admit that drawing has never been her strong suit.</p><p>“Babe, I have no idea what that is,” she gently tells her with an amused chuckle. “Is that a stick?”</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m not as artistic as you,” Josie bites back with a shade of magenta dusting her cheeks. </p><p>“No talking,” Landon bitterly grunts as he is still engrossed in his drawing. Hope rolls her eyes at how much of a killjoy he is while Josie quickly shuts up, much to Hope’s displeasure. Sure, she may have dated Landon, but she absolutely <em>does not</em> appreciate how he’s treating her girlfriend when she’s done nothing to get on his bad side all night.</p><p>“Ignore him,” Hope sharply says, her irritation clearly showing.</p><p>“Landon, what the hell is that?” Rafael asks in exasperation. “Come on man, draw better!”</p><p>Josie adds a few more details to her drawing and it’s enough to give the girls context clues on what it is.</p><p>“Knife? Is that a knife?” Hope answers, but still unsure of herself. </p><p>“Yes!” Josie exclaims. “See? I’m not <em>that</em> bad.” </p><p>“Josie, a knife is one of the easiest things you can draw. Why did it take you that long?” </p><p>Josie groans as she plops back down next to Hope. “I’m sorry! The first thing I thought of was a utility knife and it has those funky looking handles.”</p><p>“I-,” Penelope starts but decides against it, so she cuts herself off. “You know what? Doesn’t matter. 4-0, baby!” she exclaims as she gives everybody on her team. a high-five.</p><p>“Landon, why did you draw two people when the word was <em>knife</em>?!” Rafael asks as he buries his head in his hands. It’s quite obvious that he hates that they’re getting creamed right now.</p><p>“Is that someone getting stabbed?” Sebastian asks as he scrunches his nose in displeasure. “Geez, man.”</p><p>“It’s hypothetical,” Landon starts. “See? That’s me and that’s Josie. Josie has a knife in her hand and she’s backstabbing me. Get it?” he explains with a wry laugh. </p><p>Hope feels her jaw go slack as she tries to process what Landon just said. It’s so outrageously ridiculous that she can’t believe that he’d even go there.</p><p>No one seems to think it’s funny because everybody looks uncomfortable. Lizzie looks like she’s about to rip him to shreds while Penelope’s mouth is wide open in shock. Meanwhile, Hope shifts her attention to Josie and she looks close to tears, her eyes looking glossy and her lip quivering in despair. Landon just <em>humiliated</em> her girlfriend right in front of her and she’d be damned to just sit in the sidelines and watch.</p><p>“Come on, man. Let’s not go there,” MG tries to reason with him. </p><p>“Hey Landon,” she says, immediately grabbing his attention. “Have you thought that maybe, this isn’t about you?” </p><p>Josie places her hand on Hope’s thigh, immediately grabbing her attention. “Hope, <em>don’t</em>,” she warns.</p><p>She quickly considers ceasing fire especially because she doesn’t want to upset Josie more than she already is after seeing Landon’s crudely passive aggressive drawing of her. However, Landon mockingly laughs as he walks over and takes a seat next to Rafael. “That’s funny, Hope. If anything, this isn’t about <em>you</em>. This is about me and Josie.”</p><p>Hope clenches her jaw as she tries to control the anger that’s dangerously trying to make its way to the words that she is about to speak. “If it concerns Josie, it also concerns me,” she says as calmly as she can, ignoring the very unpleasant verbiage that she wanted to use instead.</p><p>“Well, this is none of you business.” </p><p>“That’s so rich coming from you. You’re the one who made it <em>everybody’s</em> business when you literally <em>humiliated</em> her in front of all our friends,” Hope shoots back without hesitation.</p><p>“Okay, fine! Since you so badly want to be part of this, let’s all talk about it!” Landon exclaims with a wild look in his eyes.</p><p>“Landon, shut up,” Lizzie demands, but she’s easily ignored by a stubbornly insistent Landon.</p><p>“So, Jo. When exactly did it happen?” he asks her as he rests his cheek on his hand, attentively waiting for her response. Again, the question is vague, but the subtext is there. He wants to know exactly when they got together and how long they waited after Hope broke up with him.</p><p>Josie’s eyes are wide now that all of the attention is on her and she struggles to collect her thoughts.</p><p>“End of camp in January,” she finally says as she hangs her head in shame. Hope feels a pang in her chest as she witnesses Josie being ashamed of their relationship first-hand. She knows deep in her heart that it’s for a good reason, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling like someone reached into her chest and squeezed her heart like it was a damn lemon.</p><p>“Of course,” he replies with an unreadable expression. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”</p><p>“What do you want out of this, Lan?” Penelope asks in exasperation as she tries to step in and mitigate the conflict. </p><p>Landon holds up his hands in defense. “Hey, I like to think I deserve to know this information considering I’m the one who got screwed over.”</p><p>Penelope rolls her eyes. “But why address it this way? Why couldn’t you just talk to Josie like an adult?”</p><p>It’s like somebody finally lit the fire that’s about to destroy everything in its wake because Landon explodes. “Because I’m fucking angry, okay?! Can you blame me? I got blindsided by my <em>best friend</em>!” He shifts his attention to Josie, his gray eyes resembling dark clouds during a stormy night. “You’re a <em>hypocrite</em>,” he spits out. </p><p>Josie visibly flinches at the words and Hope feels the punishing cold when she feels the brunette let go of her hand. </p><p>“You <em>hated</em> Hope with everything you had. The first thing you did when you found out I was dating her was try to talk me out of it!” he exclaims as he stands up from his seat and points a finger at her. It’s now Hope’s turn to flinch at his harsh words. Despite being in a <em>much</em> better place with Josie now, it’s never easy to hear about what Josie thought of her in the past. It’s something she’s still trying to get used to. “Imagine how I felt finding out you two <em>fell</em> for each other and imagine how I feel right now having walked in on the two of you sucking each other’s faces off!”  </p><p>Okay, that’s <em>definitely</em> an exaggeration. They were just making out. She’ll admit they got carried away, but they were far from “sucking each other’s faces off.” That’s ridiculous.</p><p>Josie is still quiet, unable to construct a coherent thought to curb Landon’s verbal assault. MG and Rafael are dead silent while Sebastian tries to calm a furious Lizzie down. </p><p>Landon scoffs at Josie’s silence. “You really have nothing to say?”</p><p>And just like that, Hope snaps, too. </p><p>“God can you just <em>shut up</em>?” Hope shouts in frustration. “This isn’t about you! How Josie and I feel about each other has <em>nothing</em> to do with you!” She stands up from her seat and meets him at eye level. </p><p>Landon narrows his eyes at her. “Easy for you to say since you threw me to the curb when you found someone better.”</p><p>Hope bitterly scoffs, amazed at how easily Landon can steer the conversation back to his broken ego. “Are you fucking serious?”</p><p>“Deadly.”</p><p>Hope feels a migraine kicking in, but she wants to drive her point deep into Landon’s thick skull. “Okay, you know what? You can hate me all you want because really, this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed her after breaking up with you.”</p><p>Landon scoffs. “Obviously.”</p><p>Hope narrows her eyes at him, her fist clenching by her side. She can’t believe she dated this guy for <em>three months</em>. She feels terrible for breaking his heart, but she can’t help but think that she dodged a bullet because he’s a narcissistic asshole.</p><p>“So stop being angry at Josie. I’m the one who kissed her first. In fact, she pushed me away the second she realized what she was doing and she iced me out for a month,” she finally reveals. Landon needed to know the whole story so he’d quit making up an “us vs. them” narrative in his head. “Even after we got together, she’s still been considerate of your feelings, so if you’re going to hate anyone, you should hate me.”</p><p>Something in Landon’s eyes changes for a brief second once he registers the fact that Josie fully took his feelings into account in the beginning stages of their budding relationship and is still thinking about him now. However, it’s quickly clouded by resentment. </p><p>“Trust me, I do,” he coldly says. </p><p>“Josie cares about you, so don’t take this out on her. Please,” Hope sincerely says, hoping it’s enough to soften him up. She’s pretty much begging him at this point because she doesn’t want Josie to carry this guilt with her anymore. </p><p>Miraculously, Landon’s eyes seem to soften and Hope thinks he’s finally put his guard down.</p><p>“I’m all about peacemaking and signing treaties and shit, but Josie’s gone,” Penelope interrupts so casually that she sounds like she’s ordering a caesar salad off of the menu at the local Olive Garden.</p><p>“<em>What</em>?”</p><p>---</p><p>Josie’s miserable.</p><p>She knew that there was going to be tension coming in to tonight, but she didn’t expect it to escalate into a full-fledged screaming match between Hope and Landon. </p><p>She knows that Hope was doing it to defend her honor, but it’s also because she just <em>froze</em>. Despite thinking about what she wanted to say to Landon non-stop for the past couple of weeks, her thoughts seemed to have escaped her right as she was placed in the frontlines of Landon’s fit of anger. </p><p>Yeah, she’s upset that Landon said some pretty terrible things to her, calling her a hypocrite and throwing what she said to him about Hope during the beginning of the year right in her face, but what really did it for her was seeing two people she cares so deeply for tear each other apart because of her. </p><p>She knows that running was the most cowardly thing she could’ve done, but she just couldn’t fucking take it. She felt like she was suffocating in that room and she needed to <em>get out</em>. </p><p>Josie didn’t go too far, opting to walk down to the soccer field that she’s grown fond of throughout the fall semester. She hasn’t had the chance to go there since the spring semester first started, but it provides her a sense of comfort that no other place could match. She figures it’s the perfect place to clear her head.</p><p>Thankfully, the stadium lights are on, so she doesn’t have to sit in the dark. The grass is freshly cut, its strong earthy smell triggering an inexplicable warmth to spread through Josie’s chest as it reminds her of the game she so very loves and the nuances that come with it: the way her hair sticks to her face by the end of the match, the grass stains that are scattered all over her uniform, and the comforting soreness in her muscles that sets in right after the final whistle blows. It’s enough to calm her racing thoughts.</p><p>She sits for what feels like a long time, but is probably only several minutes, before she feels a presence next to her. She can’t say she’s surprised that she wasn’t alone for long since she slipped out so discreetly. They were bound to notice eventually.</p><p>“I’m sorry for slipping out, Hope. I just couldn’t deal with everything,” she murmurs without bothering to look at who has joined her. She figures that Hope’s the most likely to follow her, not only because she’s her girlfriend, but because she knows how insistent the auburn-haired girl can get. That’s saying a lot since she’d have to go through Lizzie and Penelope. </p><p>“Not Hope,” a voice that is <em>much</em> deeper than Hope’s says with a nervous chuckle.</p><p>“Landon,” she breathes out, her throat suddenly feeling as dry as Death Valley, the hottest place on earth. She hasn’t spoken to Landon one-on-one in <em>weeks</em>. The last time they did, she told him that she fell for Hope and he pretty much kicked her out of his apartment because he was so hurt.</p><p>“Hey,” he greets with a crooked smile.</p><p>“Hi,” Josie cautiously replies with a tight-lipped smile.</p><p>Josie is taken aback at how different this version of Landon is from the Landon she saw not even fifteen minutes ago. That Landon was seeking vengeance and wasn’t afraid to wreak havoc to get it. This Landon’s much more restrained and appears to be willing to listen to her.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” </p><p>Landon sighs as he starts pulling blades of grass out of the ground. “I wanted to apologize,” he starts. “I was way out of line and I let my anger take over and I said things I shouldn’t have.” </p><p>Josie wants to say it’s okay. In fact, the words are on the tip of her tongue. It’s what she <em>always</em> says when someone apologizes, but why can’t she say them now?</p><p>Landon seems to take the silence as a sign to continue. “Hope breaking up with me...it’s not your fault and I see that now,” he admits as he throws the grass in the air and watches them fly in the direction that the wind is blowing. “You can’t help how you feel about someone,” he wistfully says with a pained smile.</p><p>Josie internally cringes at how hurt Landon still is. But despite his pride, he’s here right now and he’s trying to mend their broken friendship, and that almost stops her from feeling so damn guilty. Almost.</p><p>“Yeah,” she affirms. “We didn’t want to hurt you, Lan.”</p><p>“I know,” he reassures her as he looks down at his hands like he’s ashamed. “I know you didn’t. I should’ve known that from the beginning. You’re the most caring person I know and I was an idiot to think otherwise.”  </p><p>It’s subtle, but Josie notices that he doesn’t acknowledge Hope at all, but it’s important that they do if they want this friendship to work again. That is, if Landon even <em>wants</em> this friendship to work again.</p><p>“I know that you’re holding a grudge against Hope,” she points out.</p><p>Landon humorlessly laughs. “That obvious?”</p><p>Josie frowns. “Don’t hate her, please. Like you said, we can’t help how we feel, right? That doesn’t just apply to me.” </p><p>Landon sighs, but relents. Josie’s logic is indisputable. “You’re right. I’m sorry for being angry.”</p><p>“You have a right to be angry,” she counters. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t have been mad because I don’t blame you for being mad. It’s why I gave you so much space the past few months anyway. It’s just-“ she sighs, unable piece the right sentence together. She doesn’t want Landon to misunderstand what she’s trying to say especially when everything’s so fragile between them and one wrong move can tip the vase over and shatter it.</p><p>“I know. I didn’t have a right to treat you and Hope like shit,” he says, finishing her thought.</p><p>Exactly. That’s exactly what she wanted to say and well, she can’t really argue with that. He <em>was</em> being a dick.</p><p>Josie’s silence is enough confirmation that she agrees with him. She’s too hesitant to actually say the words out loud. </p><p>Upon noticing Josie’s timid nature, Landon’s expression turns remorseful and Josie notices for the first time that he feels guilty for how he’s acted the past few months, more so the last hour that they’ve all been together as a group.</p><p>“Look,” he starts. “It still hurts seeing you with her and I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t.” </p><p>She nods in understanding. She didn’t really expect otherwise.</p><p>“It’s going to take me a while to get used to it,” he continues, convincing Josie that he’s about to tell her that he can’t handle having her in his life. “But, I don’t want you out of my life, Jo. You’re my best friend. I want you to be happy and I know that she makes you happy.”</p><p>With that, Josie feels relief flood into her chest, like rain has finally poured after years of drought.</p><p>“She does,” she says with a shy smile. “She makes me happy.”</p><p>“Good,” he says with a genuine smile. “I’ll be better. None of that passive aggressive bullshit,” he promises.</p><p>Josie chuckles lightly. ”It’s gonna take a while...us getting back to where we were,” she acknowledges wholeheartedly.

</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Landon sighs before offering her a sad smile.</p><p>Josie is aware that Landon’s still hurt while on the other hand, she’s still having trouble navigating through her guilt. As much as she wants this conversation to mark the final restoration of their friendship, she knows that it’s incredibly naive to think that way, considering that the situation is a dirty mess that can’t be cleaned up with one conversation. She’s starting to recognize that she isn’t the only one to blame, especially after tonight when she’s witnessed Landon’s unrestrained rage. She finds that she’s having a hard time forgiving him for that, but she’s willing to try.</p><p>This conversation is a start, but certainly not an end. </p><p>“Clean slate?” he asks as he holds his hand out for her to take. Josie feels a sense of dé jà vu as she recalls that this is exactly what Hope said to her right after she found out the truth about Dana. It was Hope taking that leap that got them to where they are now and she can’t help but think that with Landon, things will be better from now on, too. </p><p>Despite all the work that still has to be done, she feels at peace when she takes his hand and firmly squeezes.

</p><p>“Clean slate.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i really shit on landon in this chapter and you know what? i'd do it again!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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